Real Life Army Wife

Martin Luther King, Jr. Luncheon

2012-01-12T11:24:00.000-08:00

One of the opportunities Tim had this week was performing what the Army calls an invocation at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Luncheon conducted by his brigade, the 525th BFSB. Tim has been acting-brigade chaplain for 2 months now, and this invocation is part of what the brigade chaplain would noramlly do. So, he had the privelege of reading a passage of Scripture and saying a prayer over the luncheon. He did a FABULOUS job! As I listened to the different speakers who performed readings from some of the writings of King's family and intimate friends, I was struck by how deeply spiritual a man he was. He was a minister, found himself constantly in prayer, and quoted the Bible daily. His overarching message was "We will overcome", yes, but also "We will overcome without violence." It was a wonderful time of reflection and rememberance.

Him

2012-01-02T12:18:00.000-08:00

Because I never seem to say enough about him, here is an entire blog post dedicated entirely to that man of mine. My husband is fantastically one of a kind. God truly broke the mold after making him. Having spent the last 2 weeks with him (day in and day out) I am reminded of just how blessed I am to have him in my life. He has the brain of a genius, the brawn of a athelete, and the behavior of a REALLY nice guy. Everywhere, everyday I see evidences of just how wonderfully God made him. There is almost always alot of thought and effort that goes into his actions (whether or not I can see it at the time!). And if I can't figure something out, you can bet your sweet bottom that HE can! He has the amazing ability to think of things that, even if given a month, I would never think of. During our deployment I grew to miss his ingenuity and get-it-done-ness all the more. And it has been SO nice to be able to say to myself, "Don't stress about it. Tim can fix it!" I have often called him my "Renaissance Man" because he knows something about just about everything. From rugby to computers, from cars to astronomy, from conservatism to physics, he is such a smart dude! Just today we were at the store together doing the mundane task of shopping for groceries (I love doing the mundane things of life with him...makes it so much more exciting!) when lo-and-behold he brings up quantum networking and tries to make an analogy between that and the neural pathways of the human body. I'm tellin' y'all, he's SMART!! And to boot, he is KING of coming in solid at crunch time; he rocks the 11th hour stuff! Me? Not so much...

But for all his brilliance, he also has the uncanny ability to slow me down, to decompress me, to make me "stop and smell the roses". I have a tendency to run, run, run until I drop and he keeps me balanced by encouraging me to take time for myself, to sit a little while, to relax. He endulges me in the things that are not "mission critical" to the home front but are entertaining and of interest to me alone. On this the 4th anniversary of my blog, I thought it fitting to write about the guy who seldom gets the credit but so often deserves it. I love you, Tim Raburn. Thank you for making me yours :-)

Christmas happenings

2011-12-17T14:35:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!! The following is a picture/video storytelling of the"December happenings" of the Raburns. Starting with Jordan's preschool Christmas production...

This front row is Jordan and all her boy-friends...you see, she is the only girl in her preschool class. 8 boys, 1 girl!!

Santa had just entered the Sanctuary as a result of the kids singing Jingle Bells. Ms. Jodi looks surprised as well!

Dylan and I posing for a picture by the tree. Yup, you guessed it...Jordan wouldn't sit still long enough to join us!

Some really cute footage. In true preschool performance fashion, she didn't sing but a few words and she mostly hammed it up and checked on her "friends" the whole time. Priceless! (Her teacher Ms. Nakisha -- or Ms. Sha-sha as Jordan calls her -- is on the left). The best part of the evening? DADDY WAS HERE!

Next, we had a "Happy Birthday Jesus" party for the kids in our neighborhood. We wished more kids could have made it, but we had a great time with the ones who came.

Kids gathered round to hear the Christmas story from the Bible.

Party guests enjoying a little playtime.

Playing "put baby Jesus in the manger" (in the fashion of "pin the tail on the donkey")

A round of Christmas carols led by the kids.

Chaplain reading the Christmas story.

Time for birthday cupcakes!

Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Dylan's school also put on a holiday performance. His Christmas Cantata was a showcase of various Christmas songs and Scripture readings. Each class took their turn on the stage doing their numbers.

What a bunch of hams!!

All in a week's work

2011-12-10T07:31:00.001-08:00

What a week it's been! In the past 8 or 9 days alot has been happening on the homefront. For starters, I went into the garage one day to find a light brownish substance leaking from the front of my SUV toward the door of our garage. Yikes. Long story made shorter: the culprit ended up being the water pump. But thanks to our power train warranty (and the fact that we bought the vehicle new), we were only $20 out of pocket -- and that was just for the assessment estimate. We were so thankful to God that was all we had to pay, because the estimate came back with a total of more than $500 worth of work and parts!

Fastforward to 3 days later. A call to my husband to let him know I was on my way home went something like this: "Hey honey. How are you?" "I'm fine. I'M doing okay." "Okay, I'm almost home." "Okay, yeah. I'M alright, but my motorcycle's not..." Yeah, not the conversation that a wife wants to hear...EVER. Long story made shorter, again: A car pulled out in front of my husband leaving him little time to stop. He DID manage to stop, but not without laying his bike down. He walked away with little more than some road rash. Again, THANK GOD! The guy who pulled out in front of him did stop to check on him and assess the damages. And he's willing to pay for whatever it costs to fix the bike, since he knows he caused the accident.

Fastforward to the next day. A drive in my husband's car to a Christmas party left me scratching my head in regards to a noise I could hear coming from under the hood. When I pulled back into his parking space, I could see a puddle where his car had been leaking. Long story short: Power steering pump hose gone bad. Not bad for a vehicle with 150k+ miles on it. Again, we were given a $500 estimate. But again, God provided a cheaper way. A friend of a coworker has repaired it and we ended up paying less than half of the estimate.

In addition to this, our big girl moved into her big girl bed. This went surprisingly smooth in comparison to Dylan's transition. She LOVES her new bed and tries to show it to any visitors that come over.

Throw in a couple of Christmas parties and a preschool Christmas program and all of this adds up to a VERY busy week. However, the busyness is dying down and we are slowing down to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. Last night we read "God Gave Us Christmas" around our tree and sang some Christmas carols. The kids thought that was alot of fun and recreated the event this morning upon awakening.

Something else cool happened this week. I accomplished what I never would have thought possible. I have been running alot this year, so much so that I am going to break the 200 mile mark before the year is out. But a 5k was about as far as I could go at any given time. However this week I slowed down my speed a bit and pushed myself distance-wise. I ended up running two 6.5-mile jaunts around Pope Army Airfield on two separate days. A total equaling a half-marathon!! It was pretty exciting to see what this thirty-something body is still capable of!

Stationery card

2011-11-28T19:22:00.002-08:00

Rejoice In Him Religious Christmas Card

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The Thanksgiving trail

2011-11-27T15:15:00.000-08:00

Our family recently enjoyed a Thanksgiving road trip to thegreat state of Alabama. It was our firstlengthy road trip since Daddy’s return and BOY did we have a car full! The two of us plus two kids and two dogs…Whew...Equalsone packed car! Before we left, weenjoyed a mock-Thanksgiving meal in our own home complete with fine china and candlelight. Dylan thought it was really something special. He took one look at the table and said, “Oh,Momma! Thank you so much for doing this!” His heart of gratitude made me smile insatisfaction, for our family began a new tradition this year: 30 days ofThanksgiving. Using a piece of paperfrom the kids’ giant art tablet, we began to list out daily one thing we werethankful for. Each of us took turnswriting, even Dylan. It became somethingto look forward to daily.

My dad had recently undergone knee surgery to replace hisleft knee. So things were a littledifferent than normal at my parent’s house. Dad had a rough go of things following surgery, so we were very anxiousto see him for this holiday. He improvedby leaps and bounds right before our very eyes while we were visiting! He went from barely ambulating to walking thehouse with a cane in a matter of days. The kids weren’t sure what to think of their “Poppy” in hiscondition. Dylan kept asking how hisknee was doing and Jordan wanted to check on his “boo-boo”. My mom was doing a wonderful job of runningthe house (of a sorts) and keeping up with Thanksgiving traditions. Thankful for their 35 years together!

One of our stops along the way was to visit Tim’s widowed grandmother,affectionately known as “Granny”. Ourkids had a wonderful time at her house. It is an old Alabama country home, but it is so much more than that tomy husband. As a missionary kid, it wasone of the few “constants” in his life. Theplace is full of things to do and tinker with. Stuff of a boy’s childhood dreams. And now Tim is getting the chance to share it with his son. On our visit theyexplored the upstairs of the “apartment”, shot 2 kinds of BB guns, went to thewood’s edge, and told tales of nearly-legendary motorcycle jumps. Dylan’s fascination grew until he washooked. He cried when it was time for usto leave. Jordan, too, had fun livingvicariously through her brother’s adventures, though most of his exploring wasdone during her nap. As I laid her downto sleep in Granny’s room gently warmed by an antique gas heater, I too restedmy head for a bit on the king-sized bed. For a moment, all was quiet and it gave me pause to think. My heart felt grateful for the chance to beso full of things to be thankful for, for holidays, and silence, andfamily. For old houses and deepmemories. For things that change and thingsthat do not. For a sleeping baby and anadventure-some boy. For the man whoseArmy medals hung across the bedroom on the wall. For his service in Korea to our country. For the life he lived and the love heshared. For the time my son had to knowhim. For the soldier we welcomed homethis year and his selfless service too.

It was on our travels that I really took time to notice whatgreat playmates our two little arrows have become. They prefer each other’s company and thenumber of fights I have to break up is beginning to decrease. They seek each other out for play and she cando JUST about anything he can. At threeand a half years apart he is old enough to look out for her but still youngenough to play her kinds of games. Myprayer is for a life of peace and friendship between them.

As I blog, our family is making its way back to our Armyhomestead, traveling this long stretch of rainy highway. This week will no doubt be filled withdecorating for the great December celebration. I love that Thanksgiving (which our family DOES celebrate as a separate holiday-entityunto itself!) ushers in the Christmas season each year. What more perfect way to ready our homes andour lives for the greatest, most needed gift to humanity than with thankfulhearts?! Finally I can say it…MerryChristmas to all!

thankFUL

2011-11-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

Another week is digested down and the calm pause of the weekend is upon us. Time for reflection. Time to breathe. This the first weekend of November also brings with it thoughts of the season: the season of thanksgiving. Our family has begun a list, adding to it each day as we take turns putting to paper what our hearts are most grateful for. And, oh, the things that kids can come up with to give thanks for! An attitude of gratitude is what we are after.

A good friend (who also yields the pen well) recommended a book to me entitled "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. I, who am a painfully slow reader, have been gnawing away at this book since late summer. It is not a speed read. It is a book to nibble on, to mentally savor, to let marinade over on the heart for a while before coming back for more. The premise of the book is that every day is filled with blessings and joy, it's just up to us to find them and purpose to be grateful for what God has graciously given us, in all things. On a good day, most of us would agree with that premise if it weren't for the last phrase, '...in ALL things." And it is that phrase which Voskamp works so diligently at bringing to light.

Less than halfway through this read I find myself, as the providence of God would have it, in the pages about giving thanks during, when else, but the SEASON of giving thanks. (I love how He watches over us in even the smallest of ways. His attention to detail, so intimate.) A look into the New Testament reveals a couple of instances when Jesus Himself gave thanks. Jesus, the God-man, gave thanks? Must be an important cause, this cause of giving thanks. It was round the table with His dearest of worldly friends close by, them not fully understanding the symbolic feast that was before them, that He uttered the words. "He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them..." (Luke 22:19) This bread, the symbolism of his body soon to be broken, caused Him to give thanks. What was He thankful for? The pain? The physical agony? The separation to come between He and the Father? All of it. For through all of it would come the redemption of mankind, the purpose for which He entered our sphere. Jesus' work wasn't complete until He himself showed gratitude for the hard thing that God would bring about.

Earlier in the Scripture Jesus was again with those men-friends in the midst of a large crowd. The crowd was hungry for truth and food. The Savior had just finished feeding their souls and was ready to feed their stomachs. What was He given? Five loaves of bread and two fish. Only enough food for a small boy. How did he handle such an offering? By saying, "Take it back, boy. It is but a drop in the bucket"? No. "Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted." (John 6:11) As Voskamp says:

"Jesus embraces His not enough...He gives thanks...And there is more than enough. More than enough! Eucharisteo (giving of thanks) always, always precedes the miracle."

Twice Jesus shows us how to give thanks in the midst of hard things, the too-tough and the too-little. Recently a conversation with friends reminded me of the "hard eucharisteo" (to use Voskamp's terminology) Corrie Ten Boom encountered. The lice and fleas were so thick in their concentration camp barracks that the German guards refused to enter, thus allowing those Jews to escape certain abuse and torture. Corrie encouraged the other Jewish women to give thanks for the lice and fleas. Thanks for lice and fleas? When God is Sovereign over all, yes, thanks for lice and fleas.

In this season of Thanksgiving, remember to give thanks IN ALL THINGS. You never know what miracle is around the corner...and up His sleeve. Ephesians 5:20 - "Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ"

Oh, the times they are a-changin'

2011-11-02T04:02:00.000-07:00

While fall may have arrived on the calendar it has not quite fully made its appearance in our wardrobes, yet. Besides the seasons, things are changing on the homefront as well. Our once fiercely strong-willed boy who spent everyday in a costume of some form or another now spends his days in a school uniform and has taken to the likes of reading...small books with short words, mind you. But reading nonetheless! Our tiny and "easy" baby girl has become a tall 2 year old with a will that could rival the strength of tungsten metal. Diapers have given way to pull-ups and we are halfway to not needing even those anymore! It feels that babyhood has left this home all together. My point in saying all this is not to discuss whether we are going to have more babies, but to say that our family has changed and moved into a different season. I'm sure we've done it a dozen times before, but this one seems more tangible, more defined than previous times. Sometimes in the sleep deprived craze of having a small baby, I lost sight of our family ever moving past that. I am reminded once again that families DO! And what a joy to watch as my children grow and unfold like a flower opening its blossom upward toward the heavens, revealing their full potential given them by the great Creator.

*Update: since first typing out this post, we have gone back to square one in the pull-up department. Que sera, sera!!

Our street gang...quite a cute sight, right?!

We treated 'til we trunked!

2011-10-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the 319th MI BN's annual Trunk or Treat festival. Our kids had a great time dressing up as the likes of Davy Crockett and a fairy princess. More candy was collected than should be humanly possible. Now to try and ration it out on a daily-dose basis!

Breakin' into the stash already!

Davy in the driver's seat of a firetruck

Sweet, precious princess feet

Life in the fast lane

2011-10-15T05:19:00.000-07:00

Two months since my last blog. Sheesh. Kinda pathetic. I think, though, that it's a testament to the break-neck speed our lives have come to reflect since Daddy's return. The first month is a fog, honestly. I don't remember much except wanting to spend every moment with him and the kids. And waking up to the sheer joy of lying next to him in bed. After a couple weeks of reintegration, we ventured to the beach with the kids. It was fast and furious, but the kids had a blast.
As soon as we returned from our sandy vacay, Big D started the Big K! The Lord provided the funds for us to send him to a Christian school and each day he learns not only from his books but from the Bible as well. I cannot tell you how deeply this blesses our hearts. A school that backs up what we teach at home -- what a delight!! It has been such a blessing to see him thriving this early in his education.

Once we were sure things were going well in the Big K (and by that I mean that we, the parents, were going to be okay with our little baby in school :), Hubby and I took off for a more extended vacay ourselves. In case anyone military is reading this, if you don't know already Camp LeJune (in North Carolina) has FABULOUS beach front accommodations that can be reserved and rented through their MWR. For cheap!! We spent a few nights there and then spent a night in Wilmington as well. We intended to stay longer, but, as my husband so tongue-in-cheekly likes to put it, "another woman came between us". Yep, Hurricane Irene thwarted our plans for our last night's stay. So we headed home early to wait out the big storm. Which, for the record, was more like a good rain soaking and wind blowing as far inland as we live. Thank the Lord for his protection.
September and its slightly cooler temperatures brought with it a new routine for our family. One that begins early with a predawn rise for PT for our resident Chaplain. I am up not too long after him to get that sleepy-eyed boy up and at'em for school. Our sweet angel girl suffers the most from this new routine, being woken up some mornings long before her internal clock tells her to rise. Depending on the day of the week, I spend anywhere from 45 min to 1 hr 15 min in the car by 9am. Jordan attends a local Christian preschool three mornings a week and it is on those days that I run errands, clean house, and attempt to improve my time on the 5K. The days seem to go by so fast with afternoon pick-up and dinner preparation. I live and die by the clock. Time dictates everything to me. Not that this is a bad thing, just another adjustment in life. A new season. No complaints here. Our family is moving, and changing, and maturing -- together, as it should.

Tim and I attended his Brigade's ball mid-September. It was a celebratory ball to highlight the end of their year-long deployment. I always enjoy these events as they afford me the opportunity to feel like I'm attending the prom I never went to. Tim picked out and bought for me a BEAUTIFUL dress, which I affectionately named my mermaid dress (because of the color. We had a wonderful evening!

We also had the opportunity to travel with Tim to Arkansas in late September to visit our endorsing church and see our church family. We took a plane ride there, which was fun and interesting. We thoroughly enjoyed our time with friends and were so blessed by their generosity.

Historic Cotham's Mercantile in Scott, AR

Another one of my biggest blessings and yet biggest challenges as of late has been the ladies Bible study that I am co-teaching with my dear Army wife friend Rachel at our local PWOC. God has stretched me, pushed me, pulled me, and grown me through this experience. The preparation is hard work; it makes me dig deep into the Scriptures -- deeper than I would otherwise probably do for a typical quiet time. A good thing. God has also blessed us with a WONDERFUL class of women hungry for his word, passionate about Godly children, and eager to learn. This experience has been one that I will never forget and I look forward to how God will continue to work in the lives of these gals throughout this semester!

Recently we enjoyed an outing with our maternal grandparents to the pumpkin patch. I look SO forward to this time each year with our kids. There's something about the bright orange pumpkins that make such GORGEOUS pictures! Here's a few to enjoy:I loathe BIG "download" posts where weeks and months get lumped into one post. So, thank you for bearing with me through this one. I long to be more intentional about blogging and share our lives in smaller chunks with you. I also long to share more of what God is showing me on a heart level. He's always working, you know! And as an uncle once encouraged me, I want to keep blogging because "one day it will be my family's history."

He's baaaaa-aaaack!

2011-08-07T20:01:00.000-07:00

There's a sound coming from down the hallway in our home. I hear it and it makes me smile...again. It is the noisy "clunk-clunk" sound of ACU's spinnng in my dryer. That sound can only mean one thing: My soldier is home!!! This is a fact that we began celebrating 2 weeks ago tonight. Getting our soldier back was quite the late night adventure.

His unit's plane couldn't land at the Army airfield here on post so they were forced to make a landing at the nearest international airport and ride a shuttle for the remainder of the trip to our post. His arrival time was sent to us via Army text message and we were told to be there by 2:45am. I hemmed and hawed and went back and forth about "should I bring the kids?" or "should I go by myself since it's during the night?" Finally I decided upon bringing the oldest and leaving the youngest to sleep while a neighbor stayed at our house. So, after a few hours rest I gathered up my young lad and off we went to pick up our hero, along with my sweet friend and trusted photographer Elizabeth! Even though we didn't have a Green Ramp experience, it was still quite a momentous occasion. It was the black of night but the heat index didn't know the difference. We were all sweating within a few minutes of arrival. Approximately 350 people gathered under the stars to await their loved ones. Once the charter buses pulled in, screaming commenced. They filed in, marching in formation to Queen's "We will rock you". The elements of the 525th BFSB took the brigade field and awaited their release from the General in attendance. Almost needless to say, we were ecstatic to have our "daddy hero" back. We rushed towards him once the formalities were over and Dylan jumped into his arms. He got the first hug but I got the first kiss. As it should be.

Oh, and baby girl got her own VIP pass to see Daddy the next morning. He snuck into her room and she did NOT know what to think. She has quickly warmed up to his smile and his lap!

Tim was given a 48 hour pass and since then has been reporting to work for half days. His first week home was spent relaxing and reintegrating. Our second week was spent having extended family in our home and hosting a double-party..."Welcome Home!" and "Happy Birthday, Jordan!". Block leave (30 days of paid leave-time) starts this Thursday and we are looking forward to some solid family time and vacation. Thank you, God, for answering SO many prayers with these 2 pictures!

And in conclusion…

2011-07-17T19:00:00.001-07:00

A year has passed. I cannot fathom how a year has gone by so quickly and yet there have been times where it seemed like "a day was as a thousand years." I can remember this time last year wondering to myself if there was a doctor out there who could just put me in a coma for a year and wake me when this was all over. What a mistake that would have been…to have missed out on all that God had for me and would do to and through me. To have missed out on the good AND the bad. In my heart and my mind I have been trying to say "goodbye" to this season in my life; to boil it down to a few nuggets I can take away and share with others. It is hard to simplify such an arduous process. Spend any time around Army wives and you will quickly learn that they define themselves and their families in terms of deployments. This is a byproduct of war that I am still not sure that I'm okay with. I am a firm believer that it's not what life throws at you but what you make of it that really counts. So to define myself in terms of whether my husband is home or gone seems like I am letting life's punches call the shots instead of taking my life by the horns, no matter my husband's current continent.

There have been many moments that I thought I was teetering near the brink of insanity. Usually this was due to something my beautiful and precious childrens were bringing to the equation at the time. For those who have read my previous posts, I'll not take you to that crazy place again. Suffice it to say that God undoubtedly knew that was a path I needed to go down in order to better sharpen and hone certain facets of my character. What I feel now is stronger. Stronger physically, stronger mentally, stronger emotionally. Running and yoga have been my "outlets" this past year. They allowed me to free my mind and free my body as well. As Eric Little said, I definitely felt the Lord's pleasure as I pounded out many a mile while listening to worship music or rattling off my thoughts to Him. Mentally I am stronger because I have been under constant stress and pressure and have had no choice but to deal with it. There was no "out", no other adult in the house with me. It was up to me and God to work it out and see it through. Problems that would have once made me throw my hands up and walk away required that I stay and deal with them. I was remarking on this recently as I found myself easily finagling a series of events that at the beginning of this deployment would have tripped me up and ruined my attitude for the day.

I mentioned an emotional strengthening as well. When it came to emotions, my husband was that rock solid wall that I could run to with any emotion I was feeling and could spatter it out against his strength knowing he could take it and it would not topple him. In his absence, I have had to turn more often to the Lord first rather than him (I usually found myself at His throne eventually but sometimes my first place to go was hubby). I have also had to work through some tough emotions on my own without his listening ear and guidance. I wish that I could say that I burdened my husband very little with the cares and worries of home while he was away, but I fear they were brought to his attention more times than I would probably care to remember. He lovingly told me each time that he didn't mind listening to me and cared about each concern I was having. He would even venture to offer wisdom and suggestions. But it was up to me to do the hard task of steadying myself and wading through the emotional waters I encountered. I am proud of the job I have done this year. Not proud in an idolatrous way. It's more that I am satisfied with the job I have done this year. I know the time is soon coming when I will be able to take a deep breath, "rest", and look back on this and be pleased.

My husband and I joke with each other that things were going well in our marriage until we separated for a year. In all seriousness, another conclusion I (we) have come to is the irony that our marriage has never grown so much in the past 11 years as it did this year we were apart. It forced us to grow, to adapt, to look for new ways of keeping our love alive. To focus on the things we love and miss about each other. We were deprived of the physical pleasures of marriage which made us seek to speak the other's love language even more. My husband loved on me diligently with "words of affirmation", which I deeply crave. My challenge was to find different ways to love him through physical touch (his #1 love language) which I did through care packages and "touching" him each day through e-mail communication. The #2 love language for both of us is quality time, so a phone call every day met both of our needs. We have now put down roots on different and deeper levels and I look forward to seeing the health and life that will bring to our relationship once we are back under the same roof.

I recently read an article on "Independence in Marriage". The gist of it was that a woman can be strong and independent and still submit in a godly way to her husband. The article's title got me thinking on the independence in our marriage. What the Army has taken our marriage through is a messed-up myriad of weirdness. Two people, deeply in love, forced to live apart, living independent lives full of difficult choices they must bear, yet at their very core they are inseparable by a covenant made before God and man. Good thing that our God is sovereign, hmmm?

Summertime Blueberries

2011-07-08T18:49:00.000-07:00

I took the kids blueberry picking today (with another friend and her 3 girls) and these pictures are the result. Gardening and fruit picking has become my new favorite kid activity. Abundance of vegetation to be picked, little hands busy doing work, learning about God and his delicious creation, snacking while we work, no mess to clean up – a perfect activity! Dylan is being allowed to dress himself in the summertime (thank goodness for uniforms in the fall!) which is why he is STILL wearing his VBS shirt…from a month ago. Oh, and we scored 5.75 pounds of blueberry goodness…a $5 feast!!

The story we heard was that Cindy, the lady who runs the blueberry farm, bought the house and property many years back not knowing that the gnarly rows of trees near the back of the property were perennial blueberries! She nearly had them cut down! So glad she didn't.

One of our dear friends Willa.

Found a lone grape vine. A neat sight for the kids. We talked about the vine that grew up over Jonah's head in the last chapter of his book. I know it was most likely a gourd vine, but it's the closest thing the kids had ever seen to a vine that could provide shade.

Our blue-tiful harvest!

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-04T06:47:00.000-07:00

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. -- The Declaration of Independence, July 4th, 1776

The 4th of July was our last holiday spent apart for this deployment. How fitting that the celebration of our nation's independence would be our final holiday before our soldier's return! We did the day up right, starting with an 8am streetwide 5K run/walk race. We had a fairly good turnout considering much of the street was out of town. I have mentioned this before but life on a military installation is unlike anything that can be found in the civilian world. Even without knowing the new person who just moved in across from you there will be several things you will have in common with them from the get-go: a deep love for Country, a willing heart to serve, similar rank...and probably kids! :-) Living on-post allows you to cut through the first 6 months of typical relationships and cut right to the meat of what matters. Besides, your neighbors could be PCS'ing before 6 months are over with! It was really nice to spend some great time with our neighbors, new and old alike, and exercise our bodies at the same time.

Shannon, Meghan, and Jenn...deployed spouses triple threat on the 5K!

Dylan and Miles. Yes, they're in their PJ's :-)

Our street kids. Too precious!

In the afternoon we continued our streetwide 4th of July celebration with a BBQ and games and contests for the kids. We had a watermelon seed spitting contest, a 50 stars search, and a water balloon toss contest. The kids had a blast! Each family brought their own meats and a few generous soldiers manned the grills for us. We had a slip-n-slide, a kiddie pool, and prizes too. It was a great event and we had about 16 or so families join us. Dylan and I stayed up to watch the post-wide fireworks display with some neighborhood friends. While we were waiting we lit off a few of our own. Of course Dylan and his buddy Miles were dazzled by the fireworks, regardless of whether they were our glorified bottle rockets or the thousand dollar display. Fire, gun powder, explosions, brightly colored lights? I mean, come on, a little boy's dream, right?

Miles and Dylan

Thank you, God, for this great land which affords us so many freedoms. May we NEVER forget the blood that has been shed to make it possible. May we NEVER take for granted the spirit of liberty that birthed this nation. And may we NEVER waver from our committment to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

(All images except the firework picture courtesy of my friend Shannon! :-)

Nearing the end...letting perseverance finish its work

2011-06-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

1 month. Exactly. Well, as exact as they get in the Army. That is how much longer until our favorite chaplain begins his journey home. I am in "reflecting" mode and thought my blog would be a perfect place to talk through things. First off I must say that I am TRULY amazed at what the Lord has done in, through, and around me the past 11 months. On a wall in our home is etched the verse Psalm 33:20 "We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield." Never were words more true for us this past year than those. This deployment thing was tougher than I thought, but the Lord was more faithful than I could have ever imagined. It tested my faith and I found Him to be true. James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

God has enabled me to accomplish so many things -- no small feat for a woman with two small kids. It is exhausting just to think back over what it has taken to survive the past 11 months. How many loads of laundry? How many wee-hours-of-the-morning awakenings? How many dishwasher-fulls? How many doctors appointments? How many reaches for the other side of the bed only to find it empty? But at the same time He has taught me alot about being interruptible and letting go of tasks that I cannot start or finish. As I write this post, I sit here with my feet propped up on the ottoman next to a full, unfolded basket of laundry on my left and an empty bowl of ice cream on my right. A pretty good snapshot of what my evenings have looked like. A little "me" time and a little "catching up on chores" time. For those of you out there considering the military or about to embark on your first deployment, I'm sure you will find out as I have that organization and time-management WILL be your best friends and your sanity-keeper.

My children amaze me...they never cease to be a wellspring of either chaos or pure joy...and most days a bit of both. Jordan is nearing the 23 month mark and is well beyond that developmentally in so many ways. She uses a combination of pointing to objects, bringing me objects, mimicking, and baby sign language to communicate with me. She has begun to "read" books to herself and LOVES to tell jokes (that only she understands) and laughs HYSTERICALLY at them. It is really pretty cute. She likes to tickle me and Dylan. She thinks Daddy is either a computer or a picture in a frame. She still has a love affair with food and eats every meal in an artistic way. Her hair is turning a lighter shade of golden blonde as we are spending more time at the pool. She is a fearless dare-angel at the pool, provided she has her life vest on. She has already taken to wading where she can barely stand and jumping from the sides into my arms. When I look into her face, I see nothing but pure beauty. All her facial features together combined with her deep blue eyes are just gorgeous. She can say about 20 words (No, more, please, thank you, bless you, my favorite "let's pray!", yes, dada, mama, Dylan, shoes, juice, let's go, show, why, dog, ball, etc.). She is an absolute joy!

Dylan is growing up so fast before my very eyes. Sometime when I wasn't looking he morphed from a preschool kid in to a kindergartener. He is such a clever and creative kid. He's like a mini-McGuiver at times. He can make a "make-shift" anything out of, well, ANYTHING! He TOTALLY gets that from his dad...but I am catching on to it too :) Lately he has been showing signs that he is on the verge of putting all the right pieces of faith together to become a Christian. He asks about it at least several times a week but at this point is still seeing it as a "get-out-of-hell-free" ticket. However, he is VERY close to understanding that the biggest deal is his sin. What an EXCITING thing to watch! Our very own son's eyes are being opened to the truth of God's word. As we said in VBS on-post this year, "Thank you, God!!"

Our summer is in full swing now that preschool is out and we are back from our 2-week Bama trip. It was so nice to get away and to be able to stay with Mom and Dad for 2 weeks. I don't think I've ever left home and been gone for that long. It ws very refreshing. We have been spending time at the pools, either our home kiddie pool or the neighborhood center pool. The kids LOVE the outdoors so we end up spending some amount of time outside every day. We are also making the rounds with our play dates. I know once daddy is home we will be doing ALOT of family time, so we are playing with friends while we can now. I planted a garden this year and it is doing very well. It is my first garden and not too shabby if I do say so myself! Already had herbs, onions, tomatos, cucumbers, and bell peppers!

Chaplain is doing well and is ready to come home! I think he and his troops are experiencing a combination of senioritis/stale relationships/exhaustion/extreme heat/desert crazies. He is just hoping they can make it another month without anything crazy or tragic happening. The Lord has truly been good to our brigade and our casualties have been at a very minimum level.

I am hoping to blog more soon, but I am thinking the next month will be sort of busy! Trying not to miss anything the Lord may want to show me or do through me even in the midst of the excitement...

Our sweet little arrows

2011-06-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

VBS - Big Apple Adventure!

2011-06-12T18:54:00.000-07:00

Our not-so li'l Dylan had the opportunity to participate in his grandfather's church's VBS this summer! So exciting! Their church allowed pre-K 5's to participate in their own version of the "Big Apple Adventure". Dylan had a fantastic time! Every day we heard new stories and songs from his lips about New York City, the statue of liberty, Jesus, and the Bible. The pictures and video below are of "Family Night". So excited that he had this chance and that he fell in love with VBS!

Preschool graduation

2011-05-25T11:04:00.000-07:00

Below are a few pictures from our kids' graduations...from preschool programs, that is! The kids were enrolled in a local Christian preschool this year which met a few mornings a week from 9am-12noon. Dylan graduated from 4K and will be moving onto kindergarten in a few short months. Jordan graduated from her mother's-morning-out room. She'll be in the 2-year-old class in a few short months as well! I always thought that preschool graduations were just a way to celebrate mediocrity...but when you're the momma it's SO different!

Sweet hand prints commemorating the occasion.

Dylan lining up. Only 1 of 4 boys in his class!

The full line up, ages 2-5. The graduates are in their caps and gowns. The crowned kids will return next year.

Haven't quite figured out my camera yet. Sorry :( But here DJ is receiving his "diploma".

Jordan's class took the stage since they are "moving up" next year to the "big kid" class.

Receiving her fake "diploma". Her smart teacher gave me the real one after it was over.

Not wanting to leave the limelight!

The preschool sang "So long, fair well, to you and you and you!" as they left the stage.

Overlook the screaming child in this picture, please. She was tired beyond words at this point. This is her teacher, Miss Myra. Some teachers are good. Some are gifted. Miss Myra was both. I found out this morning that Miss Myra is retiring and won't be back next year. We feel SO blessed that Jordan was able to be in her last class. You'll always be special to us, Miss Myra!

A little video of the kids singing.

More cuteness!

Looking ahead and behind

2011-05-18T21:06:00.001-07:00

I'm posting a few pics today of our life here. My beloved gave me a new camera (just because :) and I'm still getting used to using it. I'm also still getting used to actually having to take a card out of the camera, pop it into the computer, wait for it to load, edit the picture, and then upload it. Yes, I am an iPhone user and boy, do they spoil us! But I digress...

TOTALLY staged!

The REAL Dylan :)

The future:
Today I took our son to get his kindergarten vaccines, a rite of passage of sorts. I can hardly believe that I am sending the baby boy that I just gave birth to last week to KINDERGARTEN! I understand that most moms make a big deal out of this whole "starting school" deal, doing things such as taking bookoodles of pictures the morning of their first day and shedding tears all the way to their classroom and all the way back home. Not me. I'm starting 3 months early. Moms, let the pitiful whining begin!

The past:
And as for the Army? They have had my beloved for 290 of their 365 days…not that anyone's counting {whistle, whistle…} I'm not usually one to complain, but…Okay, wait. Let me rephrase that. I'm not usually one to complain OUTSIDE OF MY HEAD. The Lord is mighty to save in many ways, including saving me from letting many of the negative thoughts I frequently chase around up there slip out of my mouth! I have tried to be positive and focus on the good during this past year. But in order to be transparent and real, I'd like to state for the record that doing this thing that so many military wives are called to do is HARD. There, I said it. Lest you be deceived by my humor and normally cheery disposition, I am letting it be known that the days of doing life alone are hard, and the nights alone are even harder. But that is not the bad news. No, that is what's good. How, you might ask? I challenge you to find one book or story from the Bible, one character from within its pages that tells of anything but God working wonders during, in spite of, and through all kinds of adversity, trials, and suffering. He is TRULY working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

It's all about perspective

2011-05-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

Our family? We are missionaries, even if nontraditionally . We moved a couple of years ago to a place where the need for ministry was greatest and where God saw fit to place our family. We quickly settled in, getting to know the people and the culture surrounding us. About the time our ministry was in full-swing, God called us to another level of ministry. It was a place that was so dangerous that only my husband was permitted to go. It was inadvisable for family to go and we were forbidden to accompany him. So we stayed behind while he ventured out into dangerous territory...all for the sake of advancing the gospel amongst these people we had been called to share Christ's love with. The kids and I continued the work at our mission field while my husband made strides on his. The separation was long and hard but finally when the work he set out to do had been completed, my husband came home and we were once again reunited as a family. It was through the separation and constant threat of danger that God used us to advance His Kingdom on the mission field He'd called us to.

This is our story as a Chaplain family in the U.S. Army. But it could be any military family's story who has committed to our country's defense and accepted God's leading in their lives. Surprised? You shouldn't be. Its all about perspective. As my favorite Chaplain likes to preach, you don't have to be a preacher to minister! God has called each of us to a specific purpose and has gifted us with certain talents. He desires us to use them for His Kingdom - even if that means you're a helicopter mechanic or a medic...or a Mom! You can further the cause of Christ by being the best at what He's called you to AND spreading the message of Jesus along your way -- which for the military can be some pretty unique and far-off places! And as for us? We're still waiting for that beautiful reunion...which is coming up fast! :)

A Mother’s Hope

2011-05-08T13:12:00.001-07:00

Today the world is buzzing with words of thanks and appreciation for Mothers and all they do for us. I have been enjoying my very own Mothers Day with my chillins, although my breakfast-in-bed chef is away defending our country. *Proud Sigh* My son did bring me home a dee-licious muffin which I enjoyed for breakfast this morning. And my sweet li'l girl has been extra sweet. While reading through the book of Judges today I came upon a section of verses that gripped my attention and burdened my heart as a mother.

After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the LORD nor what he had done for Israel. Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD and served the Baals. They forsook the LORD, the God of their ancestors, who had brought them out of Egypt. They followed and worshiped various gods of the peoples around them. They aroused the LORD's anger. –Judges 2:10-12

My heart cries out, "How?" How could the children of the very people who had been brought out of Egypt by God Himself fail to pass that legacy on to their children? They neither knew God nor what he had done for them! God, may it not be said of me that my very children could grow up and neither know you nor even know of the things you have done for them!!

God sent his people into Canaan not to make ties but to break down alters and false idols. What did they do? They only partially obeyed – which is disobedience! Instead of proclaiming God as LORD, abolishing all other gods, and establishing their faith for all to see including generations to come, they became lackadaisical and complacent. They let it slide with the second generation. And that second generation became as it were camouflage in the land.

Father, help me lead my children not to blend in but to stand out as warriors and royalty. May they never make ties with this world but covenants with You. May they daily hear from my lips praises for our deliverer. And may they one day tell of their God to the next generation.

COURAGEOUS the movie

2011-04-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

I would be remiss if I didn't share this with all of you. A powerful film from the producers of "Fireproof", Sherwood Pictures. Premiers September 30th. I was blessed to see a screening of it, and you will NOT want to miss it.

Jesus – from Old Testament to New

2011-04-17T08:40:00.001-07:00

I have mentioned before on this blog how I am amazed when God reveals something new and fresh to me in the stories in His Word no matter how many times I have read them before. I can count on Him every Christmas, Easter, etc. to bring to my mouth a fresh and fascinating morsel for me to savor. Thank you, Father, that Your Word never becomes stale or stagnant. It is the living, breathing, Word of God!

This Easter I have been listening to a sermon series from our pastor Bro. Brent Summerhill in Cabot, AR. As usual, all of it has been wonderful and has ministered to my heart. One of the things I so enjoy about Bro. Brent is his ability to tell a story and the way he will bring in history and background into a verse/passage to make it more real and relevant. In his sermon "Betrayed", Bro. B brought to light for me SO many wonderful truths that I just have to share a couple of them.

Picture the night of Jesus' betrayal in the garden of Gethsemane at the hands of Judas. Prior to their arrival, Jesus and His disciples (as recorded by John) crossed over the Brook Kidron to get to the garden. It is the dark of night and these men are crossing this body of water in the valley east of Jerusalem. There is striking symbolism here that I have never taken note of before. It is this same Brook Kidron that 2 Samuel tells us David waded across as he fled from his traitor-son Absalom and the capital city. Jesus, too was dealing with a traitor; but God's son "went forward" (Jn 18:4) to face His traitor. Some theologians believe it was while journeying through that same valley and across that same brook that David wrote the beloved 23rd Psalm. Jesus, too, was walking through the valley of the shadow of death. For that night He would give himself over to be crucified.

After spending much time praying and talking with His disciples, Jesus goes forward to face the accusers who have come to the garden to besiege Him. He starts the conversation by asking who they're looking for (as if He didn't know!). Their reply was "Jesus of Nazareth". Do not miss the significance of what He says next. He doesn't raise His hand and say, "That's me" or "I'm Jesus". No. He chooses to state the very phrase that was spoken from the burning bush to Moses...the very phrase that nearly had Him stoned by the Pharisees and Saducees...He says "I AM" (the he in italics that is added is not there in the original manuscripts). That is NOT the equivalent of Him saying "I am Jesus". Again, no. He is unmistakably equating Himself with YHWH. Can you imagine what was fulfilled in that statement? Thousands of years of prophecy along with the hope of all mankind. The power contained in Jesus' words was enough to knock Judas and all those with him down on their backsides. To me, the significance of this is right up there with the time that Jesus stood in the temple for His first Scripture reading. What did He choose? Isaiah, of course. "...the Lord has anointed Me to bring good news to the poor..." Oh to have been there for both of those occasions! To have heard the Savior fulfill the Scriptures and declare His place in the trinity and at God's right hand! Yet what do Judas, the guards, and the temple priests do? They rise again, not in belief of who He is, but to continue in their unbelief and carry out their arrest. Jesus is unfazed by all of this and asks them once again who they are looking for. Still, they do not see. Still, they do not believe. Not even when face to face with Him. Not even after having heard His words and been affected by His power do they believe. It is no wonder we see so many around us who, inspite of up-close encounters with God, still choose to turn away from Him.

I am challenged this Easter to look at Jesus in light of His connections to the old covenant. The story of Easter is one with roots deep into the Old Testament. From Moses to David, Jesus reveals to us the master-plan of His Father. A plan that would cost Him His life, but give us back ours.

Auto-pilot

2011-04-10T19:43:00.001-07:00

3 months and 2 weeks. That's all we have left in this deployment. It seems so short, and yet sometimes it lingers. There is a light at the end of this tunnel...and it's NOT a train! I was reading back through some of my earlier posts during this deployment. And I must admit that my "fresh legs" at the start of this journey are weary. My sharp and keen mindset has become clouded and fuzzy. My enduring spirit has wavered from time to time. I had dreams and plans (many of which were unrealistic, I'm sure…yeah, I'm prone to do that, just ask Chaplain) for this deployment that seemed amiable and well-intentioned…and still do. But now I feel that in some ways I am on auto-pilot and this is now just about survival. I think what I am feeling and experiencing is normal, but I am treading with caution – for I don't want to miss any of the beautiful sights the Lord has for us along the way while my "cruise control" is on. On a lighter note, I was thinking to myself today (okay, maybe talking…out loud…to myself. Do not judge meJ) "We have been at this for 9 months now and seems like it's time for something to be birthed, er somethin'!" Just tryin' ta keep it light!

To my sweet boy…you have endured this hardship as a soldier. And still you have yet to come to the place where you have worked through and accepted it. As of late you seem so discontented, restless, unsettled. I long to see you satisfied and at peace. I wish I had the words to speak deep into your soul and tell you, "Daddy is coming home. Soon. All is well, you are loved." But alas, words are not enough for you right now. Each day you are on the prowl for "bad guys" at our house. You dress in your Army ACU's and your PT duds like a faithful soldier. If I give you one of something, you ask for two. If I suggest left, you insist right. You long to be the leader amongst your peers and you have a voice which you demand be heard. I too wish someone would whisper into my soul as well, telling me how to best love you and be to you what Daddy can't right now. So I place you into the hands of the capable Father, who watches over you night and day. Who sees your restless heart and knows your frustrations. He alone can satisfy the longings of your heart. He alone can protect you from the bad guys. And He alone can make you into the man you'll grow to be someday. I love you with all the motherly love within me, son. The times we have spent together doing projects, making crafts, cooking Jello Jigglers, reading Bible stories, building Lincoln Logs are like nuggets of gold, a value that will only increase with the years.

To my darling girl…you look like an angel! But I'm sorry to say that you often don't act like one. It is nothing that time won't fix, for you are nearing the dreaded two's. And those nasty colds which plague you often make you oh-so-cranky. You love your brother and can say his name with perfect speech. He is the first thing on your mind in the mornings and you call for him to come eat at our breakfast table. You are capable of SO many big girl feats, but you love to stretch your arms straight up to me – the signal to "hold me!" You seem less affected by Daddy's absence, but you are the first to point him out in any picture in our home. You are a joy to dress each day and your hair is your crowning glory. Not a day goes by that you don't touch my heart and make me smile. I find myself staring at you sometimes because you are truly beautiful. Anytime I plop down you see my lap as fair game for sitting. And you are deliciously ticklish. I think you have your daddy's arms, for those triceps did NOT come from me. When I drop you off at chapel or mother's-morning-out, you enter the room, turn around to give me a hug and kiss, and then turn back to your friends. Thank you for sparing me the Separation Anxiety Phase. That is incredibly sweet of you. And I mean that. I love you too with all my motherly love, lovely one.

Y'all, I know I'm prejudiced, but come on…SHE'S CUTE!!

Sights and sounds of the season

2011-04-04T17:34:00.001-07:00

This afternoon the Lord afforded me a few glorious moments to study His Word (I have officially begun referring to naptime as my personal "happy hour"!). Ashamedly I must admit that I have a tendency to go through "seasons of faithfulness" to His magnificent Word. I draw close to Him, get fed, full, and fat from the bounty of His wisdom and then for some strange reason I stray from His side…taking my newfound knowledge with me (Instead of hooking up an IV and staying close to the source!!). After a period of dryness and going my own way, I find myself seeking after Him again and wondering why I ever left this Book in the first place! Lord grant that I might be more consistently faithful to the Scriptures.

The Lord has led me to study the Armor of God at this time in my life (will likely be another post at another time J). It isn't because of any book I'm reading or Bible Study class I'm in. It is a personal journey that He has led me in. So as I spent time today learning more about the Helmet of Salvation in the great outdoors of my backyard, I paused for a brief moment to take in the sights and sounds of this beautiful season of spring. I could hear the call of a bird so I closed my eyes and listened more closely. It was then that I could clearly distinguish the sounds of four different bird songs. Letting my mind wander I asked myself, "in light of eternity and the heavenly realms, what could they be singing?" I know that ornithologists would tell us that they were calling for a mate, and likely many were. But something about their song on this afternoon spoke to me of more than just eggs and nests and finding a mate. So there with my eyes closed I imagined that their voices blended together to lift a song of praise to His name, to sing praises to his/her Creator. I listened as they proclaimed, "Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father!"

Lately I've also been reflecting on this season of Easter. When I look around and behold everything that was once dead and dormant resurrected to life again with leaf and bud and vine, it is no wonder to me that the Lord chose the timing of spring to perform the greatest resurrection feat of all time. And since the death, burial, and raising again of Jesus corresponds with the feast of Passover (shortly after the vernal equinox) this great plan of God's stems back as far as the Israelites under the bondage of Egypt. Dwell upon this during this Easter season: As you savor the sugar of candy and treats, let it be a reminder to you of the sweetness of our Savior. And as you watch the blooming of a flower or tree, let it serve to remind you of the life and beauty Christ brings to each heart who accepts Him as Lord.

Chaplaincy Corps

2011-03-30T20:41:00.001-07:00

Here's your sign...

2011-03-25T19:22:00.000-07:00

Today started out like many of the other days where I have had to get up and get both kids ready for preschool. We had a nice breakfast together but then it was a mad rush to get everyone dressed and out the door on time. After dropping both of them off, I had a list of errands to run. As I was turning into the parking lot of the first stop on my list, I saw an event happening outside a fast food establishment. The tent and signs caught my eye and when I passed close enough to read them I saw they said “St. Jude’s Radiation. Help us save kids.” (or something very similar to that.) Immediately I felt tears well to my eyes as I was struck by the reminder that even innocent children are undergoing the harsh reality of cancer and radiation. My own kids came to mind too; and while they have frequently been battling illness for the past 8 months, what they have experienced is nothing akin to the tortures of radiation burns, IV therapy, and hospital life. I said a prayer of thanks right then and there to the Lord for keeping our problems “light and simple” in comparison. Apparently He was just getting my attention and turning my thoughts toward health and the medical world. After finishing up a few more errands, I had one more on my list that I loathed to do. I nearly shrugged it off and didn’t go because it involved completing a “paper trail” of documents at the Army hospital here on post. Uggh and sheesh. But I knew if I didn’t do it now while I was a free woman (without kiddos) I might never do it. As I drove around looking for a place to park I passed by a woman from my ladies Bible Study group. The sight of her reminded me that another friend from that group was having surgery today. I stopped her and asked about our mutual friend and about herself. She told me of her own upcoming surgery next week and voiced many of her fears and insecurities to me. The Lord gave me the opportunity to encourage her and remind her that I will be praying for her throughout the weekend. As I walked into the building, I attempted to call my other friend who was to be operated on soon. I was not able to reach her but left a message with the support person who was there with her (her husband is downrange and was not able to come home to be with his wife during her convalescence) conveying encouragement and letting them know I was praying. Again, the Lord had provided another opportunity for me. I made my way through the building, getting my paperwork and taking it from point A to B. Along the way, I passed by a waiting area and a face caught my eye. Another lady from that same Bible study group sat in a chair in that waiting area. Another opportunity from the Lord. I stopped for a few minutes to talk with her. She too told me of her ills, her concerns, and her prognosis. She has undergone 33 surgeries for a head-neck issue she has dealt with for years. Pain is a constant companion to her, at times worse than others. And recently the pain has returned in a big way. I offered my encouragement to her as best I knew how and promised her too that I would continue to lift her up in prayer. As I left her side I was struck again by the ongoing barrage of illness and maladies that plague so many around me. I have had a few medical problems in recent past myself, but nothing of the caliber of which I encountered today. I felt compelled to say another word of thanks to Yahweh Rapha for my continued good health. Then on I went down my “paper trail” until I completed all I could for the time being. Somewhere in the midst of all that walking I realized that I was exactly where I was meant to be at this hour on this day. It was a humbling, sort of out-of-body experience to become aware of the fact that God was using me this morning. He was using me in spite of the fact that I nearly talked myself out of running that errand. And he’d used a man and a boy with a sign to catch my eye, soften my heart, and turn my thoughts toward ministry.

Head to toe

2011-03-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a snapshot of our big ol' 5 year old boy and his new 'do. Doesn't he look so big?

And here's two sets of sweet little feet perched on our family piano bench.

Jordan walked the dogs today...and other adventurous Army tales

2011-03-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

Sugar and Spice, and everything nice, eh? Well this li'l girl of ours is more in line with the "puppy dog tails" portion of the opposite gender's nursery rhyme. Jordan walked the dogs today. Yep, our 19 (soon to be 20) month old gal took those puppers for a stroll. Or at least she thought she was. Most of the way on our twice-around-the-block walk, this was the sight before me.

That's right - she was holding BOTH of them at the same time. And just chatting up a storm to those dogs; no doubt telling them what for and which way to go. I always keep the dogs clipped to my stroller as we walk, but in her mind I'm sure she thought she had those dogs under her complete control! We stopped for a picture, at which time she promptly let go of the leashes, but it made for a great picture anyways. (For those of you wondering, big brother was at preschool for the morning :) ♪Isn't she lovely? ♪ Army life: the two worst parts about it are the double D's -- Deployments and Departures (of friends, that is). And while we are undoubtedly in the midst of the former, we have experienced much of the latter last week as well. Three families moved away from our street within a few days time, all of which had kids of whom mine are fond. Sadness. But as a parting gift, a couple of them offered me the "remains" of their grocery goods. You know, the stuff movers won't box because they can't or because it's been opened? So, wow! Without going to the commissary, I ended up with a fridge, freezer, and pantry FULL of new and different grocery items! Needless to say, meals around here have been a little different, but fun and a nice change of pace. Just one of those neat quirks about life on post. Praying the Lord brings us nice new families with playful kids!

Back to life, back to reality

2011-03-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

I feel like suggesting a new addition to the Chinese Calendar. Instead of the year of the dog or the goat, how about the year of sickness? Well, at least that's what it's been like at our house since Chaplain deployed. Even now I am nursing (in the RN sense) a boy whom I believe may have the flu (wish I'd made him get that vaccine NOW). Not that my kids were pictures of health before hubby left, but the volume of illnesses has definitely increased since then. We were blessed that the Lord gave us an illness-free R&R...Oh yeah, except for a raging ear infection in our son's right ear :) I have been through the gamut of emotions over this sickness thing. And with just over 4 months to go in this deployment, I have come to settle on this emotion: acceptance. I am a clean freak -- I LOVE a clean house. So my kids' illnesses are not due to my lack of housekeeping skills. My children do not have any major medical diagnoses like heart disease or diabetes that could explain their frequent illnesses. So what is happening here is out of my control. They are my number one ministry priority this deployment. I have been blessed by God to have other ministry outlets these past 7 months, including piano and a ladies Bible study. But much of my hands on "work" has been caring for them. I mention this in my blog not to complain, but to report that sick kids during deployment seems to be a VERY common thing for the spouse left behind. Is it REALLY that kids are sicker with a parent gone, or is it just that the load of caregiving seems overly heavy for one parent? Or perhaps these kids were destined to be sick like this with or without Daddy/Mommy at home? I don't know for sure. Many of my friends have experienced the same or similar situations as ours. My explanation of it stems from a sense that Satan doubles and triples his attacks on families who are serving God faithfully (whether Chaplain or not). What better opportunity would he have to tear apart a family for good than when they are geographically apart, each struggling in their own way? The following is an excerpt from an article in our local paper, The Fayetteville Observer, published today. It is SO good at expressing the thoughts in my heart regarding being mom to a boy-son. I just had to share :) Home Front: As little boys grow, so do mom's fears by Sonya Sparks Murdock When you are a mom of two little boys, certain things are inevitable, such as scraped knees and pockets full of dirt. Boys catch frogs and pull tails off lizards; it's just what they do. They burp their ABCs at the dinner table - the louder, the better. Boys collect rocks and give them scientific names, like "fossilized dinosaur poop." We mothers of the male species get nervous when our homes are quiet, a sure sign that mischief is imminent. In my house of boys, the cushions are never on the sofa, but on the floor instead, where they serve as forts and castle walls. Likewise for the pretty pillows that I bought to match the sofa; apparently, the boys took the term "throw pillows" literally. In fact, if you are a woman whose living room does not look like a war zone, then you are not a woman whose children are of the male gender. Because, in a house with boys, the living room floor is always strewn with dismembered action figures and random plastic body parts. Poor Darth Vader doesn't stand a chance against the Force that is known as Boy. It must be genetic instinct for boys to turn ordinary household items into weapons of destruction. Sticks become guns; long sticks make perfect light sabers. That innocent TV remote secretly emits high-powered shrink rays. Even the dinner table becomes a battlefield for sword fights with butter knives. Lure of a uniform After extensive research (and by research I mean comparing notes with other moms at the playground) I have come to this finding: All boys play "war." My boys were destined to pretend to be soldiers, emulating their greatest hero, their dad (cont.) Unless you have one (a boy), you won't understand. Once you do, you'll never forget!! My husband is back with his guys, ministering, and feels he is exactly where he needs to be doing what he was called to do. The kids and I are back to our "routine" (a loose sense of the word needs to be applied here), exactly where we need to be doing what He has called us to do. For now...On the distant horizon is reunion. And already it smells sweet. For those of you doin' this thang ;) take heart. God is doing something mighty. For those of you considering this life, prayerfully seek him -- and then JUMP IN! Be sure to bring your tissues and Tylenol! :)

Blissssss....

2011-02-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

I am writing to you from heaven. No, I haven't died. And I'm not literally writing from beyond the pearly gates. But this sure feels like heaven. We have made it past the half-way mark of this year-long deployment and around that time usually comes R&R!!! Woohooo! Prase.The.Lord! Chaplain arrived nearly 2 weeks ago and we have relished every second with him. (I know, I know, some of you are thinking "Why in the world are you on your blog when your man is HOME?!?! In my defense, he is having a little techno time getting his iTouch up to par for the next 5 months while our precious angels take a nap. This equates to Mommy blog time :)

My mind had rehearsed the scene of how our reunion would go, complete with 2 little dressed up kids and a Welcome Home poster. That's pretty much what happened except that we were about 10 minutes late to the airport so there was no dramatic "Here comes the plane!!!" moment. Oh, well. It was lovely enough, and we did not leave disappointed. Jordan wanted to observe her Dad from a short distance while Dylan ran to him and jumped into his arms immediately. It was an awesome moment and is filed in our memory bank for all time.

My husband and I decided to spend about a week at home before we went off for a romantic rendezvous, allowing him time to adjust to a new time zone and giving the kids alot of one on one attention. Then he and I spent a couple of nights at this place http://www.groveparkinn.com/Leisure/

And WOW, was it beautiful.

With Dylan's birthday being the day after he leaves, Daddy wanted to make sure his boy had something grand to remember him buy. So...

...what better to buy than A NEW TRUCK! Yes, he is in love with it :)

And as for our littlest angel, she has quickly figured out who to go to for comfort. Tim and I were both concerned that she might not remember him and we have prayed for a sweet reunion. Looks like He answered! The Lord has provided us with unseasonably warm and gorgeous weather which our family has been enjoying very much. What a blessed time God has given us and what a lovely gift R&R has proven to be! Thank you, Heavenly Father!

Blog-iversary

2011-01-02T08:03:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve marked my 3 year blog-iversary. It is such a treasure to me to be able to go back and trace the Lord's hand throughout my family's adventures! Thank you God for the way you have led us through the past and the way you now carry us into the future. You are the one who exists outside the confines of time, yet you gently and lovingly guide us through each year. Rishon Va-Acharon. Alpha and Omega.

Our favorite soldier celebrated his holidays in a land where Christ is neither recognized nor celebrated. But don't think for a minute he didn't make the most of it! He started working the day of Thanksgiving to put up several Christmas trees, including one in his own tent. It was complete with lights and a manger scene. If life is 10% what happens to us and 90% what we make of it...Chaplain had a GREAT Christmas. I am so proud of him for his mental resolve and determination to keep the message of hope alive. I love you, babe.

The kids and I made several trips throughout November/December. Thanksgiving had us treking across half the country to the land of Arkansas. We stayed with Tim's parents and visted our old church in Cabot, AR. On the way there and back we spent some time with my parents as well. It was a great trip, but put nearly 2,000 miles on Katy the Acadia!

After we returned home, Christmas festivities went into full swing and we decorated our home as well, although it was a scaled down version of what we would have put up had Santa been home! :) It was enough to help us feel festive and keep our mind on Christ. Dylan participated in his first Christmas programs, one at preschool and one at ChapelNext, both of which were adorable! Jordan just soaked everything in, from the lights to the music to the goodies! She did pretty good with the Christmas tree, only occasionally taking off ornaments to play with them. Fortunately her mom had the brains to put the non-breakable ones on the bottom! :)

Shortly before Christmas we headed back to Alabama. We were able to see Tim's parents and grandmother in Winfield as well as stay with my parents and see my extended family. Considering the precious one we were without this holiday season, what a wonderful Christmas the Lord made for us! The weather was cold and crisp, perfect for celebrating the season. And God gave us a beautiful and glorioius gift on Christmas morn - we awoke to the serenity of falling snow! It fell for much of the morning and accumulations were around 4-6 inches! What a beautiful sight, so peaceful and tranquil and quiet. Elohim, you are glorious and so good to us your children! I pray this is a Christmas we won't soon forget, especially for my 4 year old. I pray this is one he remembers for the rest of his life. The Christmas that God sustained us without our daddy and sent us snow for his Son's birthday party!

After Christmas, we made a trip up to Ohio to see my dad's extended family. Oh what fun that was! The snow adventure continued as we made our way up through Tennessee, Kentucky, and into Ohio. There was snow on the ground the entire trip there! We stayed in a little cabin right on Lake Erie and Dylan got to sleep in a bunkbed for the first time. The kids had a wonderful time with their cousins and great-grandparents. The biggest delight of all was watching Dylan interact with my 99 year-old great-grandmother in such a loving and caring way. It was as if they were kindred spirits!

And now the new year is upon us - 2011. We are anticipating big things this year -- our boy will turn 5 and Daddy will be coming home. Plus, who knows what other surprises the Lord will bless us with?!? God's blessings to all of you, friends and family!

When your heart feels hurried...

2010-12-11T10:39:00.000-08:00

I couldn't have written anything better myself than what author Holly Gerth wrote in this devotional. Hope it ministers to you this holiday season. Merry Christmas, frinds!

When your heart feels hurried...
'Tis the season to be busy.
There are gifts to buy, meals to make, trips to take, decorations to be hung, songs to be sung, places to go, people to see…
It's December 1st and I'm already tired. Anyone else?
I read the words... Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
But how can I be still when there's so much going on?
Of course, the first answer is to simplify my life.
Yet the kind of stillness God is talking about isn't just about my circumstances. It's about being still on the inside.
I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother. Psalm 131:2 What is a weaned child like? One that has learned to stop asking for more, more, more and instead simply rests in the arms of love, love, love.
My hurry and stress come from that want of more. I want to do more, be more, pack more in to these few short days. Then it seems God whispers to my heart, "Enough. You are enough. You have enough. In the middle of the busy, make a quiet place inside and stay with me. My love is what you really need."
I settle, quiet down, breathe a sigh of relief. The miracle of Christmas?
God came for us so we could come to Him. Even (especially) in the busy, broken, chaos of our lives.
'Tis the season to be still.
--by Holley Gerth

2010-11-20T19:46:00.000-08:00

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Time marches on

2010-11-20T18:53:00.000-08:00

So much has transpired since my last post...namely TIME! Hallelujah for that one! We are one week shy of the 4 month mark. Now for those of you who are not math-savvy, that is 1/3 of the way through our year, or 33.33%! Ohhhh yeah!

October was full of autumn events like a pumpkin patch trip, trunk-or-treating, and a fire station trip. The weekend of Halloween this crazy mamma did a trunk-or-treat on Friday night, trick-or-treating on Saturday night, followed by another trunk-or-treat on Sunday after church. Whaaaa?!?!? What was I thinking?! Needless to say I was taaaarrred and never so excited to see a Monday in my whole life! I have got some work to do with my four year old, though, for next year. He quickly lost interest in collecting candy at each of our outings and instead opted to put himself whole heartedly to the task of being "in character" as Bibleman. What is that about??

Oh, and baby boy, Mamma needs more chocolate next year.

Veteran's Day weekend I had the great opportunity to spend several days with 1300 lovely ladies ( 42 of which I know alot better than I did before!) in Dallas, TX at the PWOC conference. So many great workshops were offered each day along with incredible worship session (led by none other than Kari Jobe!) and inspiring messages (by the talented Priscilla Shirer). It was such a refreshing and spiritually renewing time with the Lord for me. It could not have come at better time for me in this deployment. It was so nice to be there in all of that atmosphere and sense God's presence in a might way. It is amazing what the Lord can speak when we have the chance to break away from the day to day clutter and noise of life! And I rediscovered the joy of getting up when I wanted to and having the time to do my hair AND my make-up...in the same day! Oh. so. marvelous. Many thanks to Mom and Dad for covering the babysitting duties while I partook of this soul-nurturing event.

As a side note, for those of you out there just beginning in this Army life or thinking about "jumping in", I have to say that the top two things that have blessed me the most are living on post and becoming a part of PWOC. If you have an opportunity to do one or both, please take the chance. The people you will meet and the sense of community that you will gain on post are priceless. The ladies at PWOC provide an almost instant connection, since nearly everyone is in the same military "boat". You will have something in common with everyone there. Okay, informercial over!

My kids continue to do well, despite living day to day with Daddy on another continent. We just came through a rough time behaviorally with my son. God is no doubt teaching him things as well through this time of separation. My prayer is that God uses this to give my son a larger world-view...that God is more than just our God here in America...that He has a presence in places very, very far away...and that He reigns supreme over all nations and tongues. I also pray that God uses this to give my son a deeper faith even at his young age. As a child of a deployed servicemember, my son is having to trust God with things many kids never will. What an opportunity for the Lord to do a mighty work in his little life! And my daughter? She's just plain CUTE and smitten with her daddy! She thinks the Skype sound is Daddy's personal ringtone...and she LOVES to kiss his picture on her nightstand. I'm praying that he will stay a vivid image in her mind throughout this year. So far, he is.

And in that place of dust and mountains across the globe, the Lord is faithfully keeping my husband safe and secure. His ministry is active and his contacts are frequent. His travel is also quite frequent... which makes for one nervous yet prayed-up wife! He has been traveling at least once a week (by convoy) to different regions to see all of his solders and offer them his religious support. We have had casualties. Not within our battalion, but with in our brigade. Heartbreaking nonetheless. So far we have lost 2 brave warriors. Precious souls to the King of kings. As I sat breathless at one of the memorial services, I couldn't help but breathe a prayer that God would give our chaplains a bountiful harvest of souls, that none of these lives taken in battle would be taken by THE enemy. I am so proud of the job that my husband is doing and so thankful that he is "at home in his element".

And now, the holidays are upon us, which will no doubt make time fly even faster. I am going to try to figure out the mystery of savoring each moment and this time with my kids while still trying to speed up the clock to February! Speaking of math, that sounds like an equation for NASA!

Savoring the season

2010-10-06T14:17:00.000-07:00

It is the start of the fall season. The air is crisp and clean. Gone is the swelter of summer; here, for a while, is the air which feels neutral on the skin. This weather is what I imagine it like in heaven -- simple, clear, non-distracting. I love watching the seasons change. While I know God does NOT change, the way He cares for us and reaches out to us changes like seasons throughout the course of our life -- as we grow and mature. To me it seems that God likes variety, creativity, and fresh starts. Each and every winter somehow feels familiar yet new. Only a loving Creator like ours can accomplish this four times a year, each year. As I write this I am sitting in the comfort of the swing in my parent's backyard. The air is light, the breeze gentle, the sounds delightful -- birds in the trees singing their praises, squirrels in the branches busy preparing for winter, the soft rustling of leaves overhead, the faint ringing of the wind chimes. Occasionally the wind gusts for a brief moment, and with it comes the most heavenly smell of flowers. Such a sweet, fresh, beautiful scent. Unmistakably God. Unmistakably YAHWEH BOREY (LORD creator).

Just another day in Army life...

2010-09-25T13:32:00.001-07:00

"Army life is a tough life." You will hear that from time to time, and there are times that it is very true. Countless nights in a lonely bed, drying tears of children who miss Daddy, worrying about a loved one's safety...to name a few. But then there are other occasions that are just darn fun and cool. Today was one of those occasions. The Billy Graham Association sponsored an event called "Rock The Fort" here on post. It was kind of like a fair, kind of like a concert...and it was free! There was great "fair" food, plenty of bounce houses, a craft tent, as well as a huge concert stage where some great Christian bands would play. But the highlight of the day was when my 2 kiddos got to watch the Golden Knights parachute down and land less than 100 ft in front of us. Talk about thrilling! My 4 year old couldn't take his eyes off of those paratroopers! And when it was over? Well, he asked me if they could do it again, of course!! It was truly a spectacular sight to see, the precision and grace that those men and women possess as they steathily glide down to earth! I was struck by how absolutely quiet their descent was. It was easy to see how they could invade enemy territory without causing a stir. Ask a kid what they did on any given Saturday and many will say they had a soccer game or went to the mall. My kids? Watched the Golden Knights live in living color! Just another day in Army life!!

7 weeks down...

2010-09-16T07:16:00.000-07:00

Whoa...I blinked and 7 weeks of this deployment passed me by. Life has been hectic & crazy at times, so blogging has not been on my radar screen. Changing diapers, disciplining kids, maintaining my outlets of ministry, and personal Bible Study have been lighting up my radar screen. Yes, Bible Study. It is a committment that I made to the Lord during this deployment -- to faithfully study His Word and present all my cares to Him in prayer. It has been a life line to my soul. However, this has meant letting alot of other "things" go that I would like to be doing...like blogging. But, I believe in the end God will bless my efforts as I see the fruit that His Word brings about in my life. On the husband-front, Chaplain is doing well. He always sound so positive and upbeat, despite what I know is going on over there (all the yucky, unpleasant stuff of war). He told me the other day that except for missing me and the kids, he is loving it over there...mostly because, he said, "I feel like I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be doing exactly what he created me to do." Wow, talk about comfort for me! Thank you, God, for this. Today, I was doing mundane task #541 of the day...which happened to be surface-wiping in my kitchen...and I came to my trash can, which looked totally GROSS on the outside. There were drip stains, coffee grounds, kid drool, and general food stains on it. While I know it is a TRASH can, I still didn't think it should look nasty on the outside, so I began to wipe it down. That's when the still small voice of the Holy Spirit spoke directly to my soul. I heard him say, "Jennifer, this is how so many people live their lives." The verses "There is no one righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10)..." and "All our righteous acts are as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6)..." came rushing to mind. God reminded me that all of us are trash heaps on the inside, stinking and dirty from within. And yet look at how much time and effort we put into cleaning the outside of our trash cans! No matter how glamorous the outside of our can looks, there will never be righteousness inside...apart from Christ. The rubbish and stench will still be there, even if the outside gets wiped down with disinfectant. What needs fixing is within, a matter of the heart. Let Christ transform you from the inside out, by imparting His righteousness to you through His death and resurrection. Even as born-again believers, we can sometimes allow the trash to sneak back in as unconfessed sin lingers like a “fishy” odor in our lives. Jesus spoke strongly against the hypocrisy of a beautiful outside but ugly inside when he was talking to the religious leaders in Matthew 23:27-28. He said to them “You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness”. I love the vivid imagery Jesus uses with the phrase “whitewashed tombs”. A little research on this revealed that tombs were whitewashed in order to make them more visible. This kept the Jews from stepping on or stumbling over them as the journeyed. Truly, this was an act done by the pharisees to get noticed. When we find ourselves looking like a whitewashed tomb, we need to humble ourselves and seek His forgiveness…asking Him to once again clean us up on the inside and fill us up instead with Him. Then, what is of value in us won't be dependent upon how we look or perform, but upon the perfect salvation given as a gift from the Father. One look at us and God will have to do a double take to see if that was us He saw or Christ! So, don't worry about the can, let's take out the trash!!

A marathon, not a sprint

2010-08-18T17:26:00.000-07:00

My life as a happily married single Mom has begun. We are now located in our new abode and ALMOST all the boxes are unpacked. All except for a few in Chaplain's study/our guest room. And, no offense baby, but they are not a pressing matter. Rest assured that they will get unpacked long before your R&R. The move was not as tough as the last one, but somewhere in the midst of it all I remembered that I was 6 months pregnant for our last one. That made a HUGE difference in my energy level. My mom was so gracious to come and stay for nearly 2 weeks as we packed up, moved over, and unpacked. The kids and I are really enjoying this new home; the extra space is wonderful! My son can turn cartwheels and do flips and I do not have to fuss for fear of him running into something or things getting knocked over. I am trying to figure out what our new day-to-day routine will be in this new house. It is taking some getting used to having a second story. I have to stop and think, "Okay, I'm going downstairs now...what do I need to take with me first. Hmmm." But what a blessing!!! The kids and I both are still adjusting to life without Daddy. The immediate severe pain of separation was fortunately short-lived thanks, I belive, to faithful prayer warriors and the power of God. We have had SO many people in our lives praying, sending cards, giving encouraging words that it has unbelievably overwhelmed me. Praise God for people with a heart for loving on military families! Tim is doing well; surviving the unbearable heat over there and building up relationships with his comrades. He always sounds so positive when we talk on the phone and seems to feel very comfortable that he is exactly where the Lord created him to be. That in and of itself is SO comforting. The Lord is ministering to me on a continual basis each day, staying close to me through thoughts and silent whisperings in my ear. He is speaking to me through His word and prayer is constantly on my lips. I was thinking recently about what kind of wife/mother I want to be...I don't mean just for today, but the legacy I want to leave. Especially with this (and possibly other?) deployments in our future, my kids are going to be spending ALOT of time with just me and my husband will be going through times of just knowing me from afar. So, how can I impact their lives in the biggest way? Of course, one of the first Biblical thoughts that came to mind was the Proverbs 31 woman. Upon reading this famous passage again, it became clearly to me that she could very well be the wife of a deployed soldier! I mean, take a second look... v. 15 "She gets up while it is still dark, she provides food for her family" She has to get a shower before the kids get up at 0'dark-thirty. And ain't nobody else there to cook for those babies! v. 16 "She considers a field and buys it" Why else on earth would a married woman make a decision like real estate without her husband, except he be deployed! v.18 "her lamp does not go out at night" Oh yeah, she has pulled all-nighters with her workload. v. 23 "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." Her man makes her proud and he has earned respect in what he does, enough so that he is counted amongst the greats...sounds like a soldier to me! So I think I REALLY have a kindred spirit in this marvelous lady! But back to my desire for impact, my longing for legacy...there are a few verses in this passsage that I pray can one day be said about me. (She had 21 verses written about her; I'd be okay with just 3 or 4!) First, I pray that this year verse 11 and 12 are foremost in my husbands mind (if not his mouth).

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

May my children see verse 26 in me.

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."

For myself and those who watch me run this race, verse 17.

"She sets about her work vigorously, her arms are strong for her tasks."

And to my God, creator of heaven and earth, my redeemer and Father, may he see that as in verse 25...

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come"

She is not anxious for what lies ahead, but she finds joy in her circumstances. There is one thing I have often been reminded of these past 3 weeks: This journey called deployment is a marathon, not a sprint.

A year begins…

2010-07-30T12:38:00.001-07:00

Deployed. Down-range. In theater. These are all terms the Army uses to describe that time when men go off to war. I dislike the term "in theater" because this is anything BUT an act or a show. I also don't like "deployed" because I picture little green men catapulting across a living room floor (I don't know why). I guess down-range sounds better; kinda makes it sound like they are just on-post down at the range. Takes a little of the sting out of it. I guess I prefer to call the whole situation "ouch"…'cause it hurts, oh-so-much.

My Chaplain-soldier left earlier this week and it has truly been the hardest week of my life. Nothing major has gone awry, but the pain of separation has at times been unbearable. He will likely be gone for 12 months, which is unfathomable at this point. We are taking it one day at a time. We have been blessed to hear from Chaplain often as he has been in an adjoining country awaiting a flight to his ultimate destination. The days before and just after he left were painful. It felt emotionally and mentally like someone was ripping off my right arm. I know no other way to describe it. BUT GOD…who is faithful. BUT GOD…who is rich in mercy is carrying us through. I know that sounds trite and simplistic and over-used. But it is so true for me this week! God has been caring for me in a way I can't describe. He has been my rock, my NEW right arm, a fortress to me, a shield. He has brought me hope every day, in one way or another. I have been faithful to His word and prayer and He has been faithful to meet me there and make it worth every second.

My husband is doing well, so far. He has already held a prayer meeting, and they haven't even made it to their FOB (forward operating base) yet! Go God! The next phase for him will be settling into another new time zone, establishing their position on base and beginning his spiritual ministry to the troops in his unit. Our next phase will be moving…yep, without my husband! The Army has graciously offered us a 1000+ square foot increase in our housing and we will take it! So glad Mama is on her way! (Love ya, MamaJ )

Casing of the colors

2010-07-16T18:44:00.001-07:00

Today our family had the opportunity to attend my husband's unit's "Casing of the colors" ceremony, which most army units/brigades do in preparation for deployment. It was a well-attended ceremony held at our brigade's parade field. Many of the soldiers from all of the units in our brigade were out in formation in the field. The commanding general for Fort Bragg was also in attendance. "Casing the colors" involves calling the soldiers from each unit to attention, having them inspected by the brigade commander, and then packaging up the flags in preparation for movement to their deployment location. Upon their arrival, the colors will then be displayed again while the units carry on their mission downrange. This highly traditional ceremony was a great way to give a tangible, visual element to what probably seems to our son like a theoretical deployment. The pictures below are from this event. Notice how the flag is unfurled in the first picture and encased in the second. Longing for the day to see that flag unfurl again on American soil!!

D-D-Deployment

2010-07-07T19:25:00.001-07:00

Deployment. It's the "D" word in the Army. Not for everyone, but for most spouses it is. Ours first is looming just around the corner. We are past the 30 day mark. What does it feel like? Like a highly-anticipated, long-dreaded visit from that relative you hoped you'd never have to meet or see again. But you know he/she is coming, so you'd better prepare. That's what we've been doing. Everything from Living Wills to Power of Attorneys to Advanced Directives. The Army was kind enough to give us 2 weeks of "Block Leave" with their blessing and encouragement to spend time with family. We (minus the baby) chose to spend half of our Leave at Disney World. This was a fantastically phenomenal experience and will be a well-spring of memories during the long months ahead. The trip itself, the sights and sounds, the smells, the time…will all serve to bind us closer together and will impress into our minds perhaps for a lifetime. And now we are in the season of "lasts" and goodbyes. Last haircuts, last bills paid, last fill-ups, last road trips. And not just for me. My husband has begun to do it to. I see him stopping to study pictures he's passed a thousand times before. I see him savoring our smiles and laughter. I "caught" him going through all of the pictures on his i-Touch yesterday, just reminiscing about each face and place in them. Every hug we share speaks in unspoken terms "I love you and I will miss you. Not too many more hugs left before…". We are at the point of thinking, "Who really wants to fight about socks on the floor or hairs in the shower when soon there will be no one to fight with? Just let it roll…" Having grown up in an area of the country prone to tornados, this eerily feels like the "calm before the storm". My goal here is to be transparent, not portray hopelessness. These feelings are normal and affect most people in our scenario. I share them on the basis that they will help others know that what they are going through is common and help them not feel guilty or alienated. Trust me, God is in this, through this, under this, all around this. But it is a process of emotions that must be worked through. My goal is to journal as much as I can along this new journey, in order to help myself, preserve my memories, and most importantly to help others.

Blah, Blah, Blog (the last three months)

2010-06-13T11:31:00.001-07:00

In April, I had the opportunity to accompany Tim to San Antonio for a week-long Strong Bonds training event. The Army paid our tab and we were trained in several different curricula which we can use at future Strong Bonds events. This was an incredible blessing to be co-trained with my Chaplain-husband and also to be able to spend one-on-one time with him (kids were at grandma/grandpa's!) so close to our anniversary (10 years on May 13^th!). What an awesome privilege and perk brought to us Chaplain wives by the U.S. Army! If you are an Army or Air Guard Chaplain wife, training events are happening around the country several times a year. I highly recommend that you seek out this opportunity and take full advantage of it! Not too long after this training even (2 weeks later, I think) Tim and I put together a retreat which took place at the Great Wolf Lodge in Concord, NC. We used Mark Gungor's Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage…which was a huge success. I wasn't sure how it would go since the curriculum is heavily DVD-based. But Mark is such a funny guy that he made the DVD time fly by fast. For security reasons, I am not able to put up pictures of the retreat itself, but here is a pic of our family outside this phenomenal resort!

The first weekend in June was had our last retreat before deployment. We went back to Myrtle Beach and Tim did this one mostly on his own. He made it a 'pre-deployment' retreat and covered topics such as resiliency, readiness, and communication. We had good attendance and a lot of great feedback. Time at the beach with our two kiddos was a blast. Dylan learned the art of surfing and Jordan learned what sand tastes like! We made it back from this retreat just in time to see our Cubbie "graduate" from his first year in AWANA Cubbies.

Dylan at the final Cubbies class of this year.

Tim's deployment is fast approaching. Time has been going very fast for a while with retreats and FRG meetings and planning sessions. However, Tim's Battalion has some time carved out this summer for "Block Leave" (i.e. a block of time where everyone is highly encouraged to take leave time). So we will be chillin' at home and at the pool, getting small projects done and taking care of odds-and-ends things. Also this summer we have a trip to Disney planned that I pray the kids will remember (at least Dylan) fondly during the coming year.

So many thoughts and emotions are running around in my head at the same time and all the time that it is hard to keep sane thoughts straight! On top of all the aforementioned stuff, the Army has determined our move-in date (to our new, bigger home) to be around the same time frame as deployment! Fortunately, we were able to defer that a bit and will plan on moving in shortly after we have seen 'Daddy' off and had time to deal with the flood of emotions that will come. At this point, I am holding fast to 2 things. 1) The Lord has a plan, purpose, and mission in mind for Tim each and every day that he will be away from us (just as he has had while Tim has been here with us) – in other words, this deployment is no accident, it is orchestrated! 2) The Lord has a plan, purpose, and mission in mind for me (equally as important as Tim's) each and every day that I will be away from him (again, just as he has had before). Our ten-year marriage is about to undergo a huge strain and test of strength and character. Believe me, I am on my knees talking to the Father frequently about this! But rather than worry and hyper-focus on each and every insecurity and question, I am vowing to take it one day at a time (with a planning-eye to the future ;) and allow the Lord to step in and be the husband that even Tim can't be to me. Seeking the mercy and loving-kindness of the Shepherd…~Jenn

The Mother Download

2010-05-09T17:11:00.001-07:00

Today I was reminded by my sweet husband of what this day was like for me (for us, really) 5 years ago. It was a tearful one, full of dashed hopes, fading dreams, and fertility tests and treatments. One year later, Mother's Day four years ago, was quite the opposite scenario. It was a tearful one as well, but for sweeter reasons. You see, between Mother's Day 2005 and Mother's Day 2006, we not only found out we would become parents, we actually became parents! All in the span of a year's time. Wow…just thinking of it gives me flashbacks and goosebumps. From the valley of shadows of grief and barrenness to the mountaintop of joy and parity. How labile our emotions can be as humans, subject to our circumstances and points of view. Praise be to God who is an ever-present constant in the emotional storm.

I was recently reading a fiction book based loosely off of the book of Hosea. In it the author used the phrase "divine privilege" to describe the Lord's gift to us of bearing children. I think that there is no more fitting or true phrase than that – divine privilege. Divine because we are participating in the work of God…creating and nurturing new human life. Privelege because God didn't NEED us to make this happen, he chose us, the fairer sex. If God had chosen men to give birth to their next generation those children would no doubt be protected as that is a defined and strong characteristic in males. But God knew there was something more that was needed…a nurturing aspect that will cultivate and care for the hearts and lives of our future. Please understand that I'm not trying to push men or dads out of the picture. I am saying that a woman's role in the lives of her children is biological, elemental, natal.

As of this Mother's Day, I have now been divinely privileged twice by the Lord to carry two of his dear ones in my body and safely deliver them into this world. They are my pride, my joy, my delight and will one day be my legacy.

The Seafood Sermon

2010-04-15T13:12:00.001-07:00

One of the duties I enjoy in parenting my children is the having the privilege to share the word of God with them. With Dylan it is soooo easy because he LOVES a good story! He will often come up with a scenario and ask one of us to come up with a story to go along with it…on the fly! So it is no surprise that any Bible story captures his attention (and I am praying his heart too!). Each week we get out his "Cubby" book and learn his lesson for the following AWANA session. It is one of the highlights of both of our weeks! This week's lesson was on The Five Loaves and Two Fishes. I wasn't sure how this one would go over, seeing as he has heard it many times before…but by me utilizing hand gestures and props his attention span was great! I kid myself if I say that those lessons are only for him, because so many times the Lord speaks to me through those simple lessons. This time as I read our passage my mind focused on the interaction between Philip and Jesus. The Scripture says that Jesus tested Philip by asking him "Where are we going to get enough bread for all these people?" Now, there is no doubt in my mind that Jesus was sincerely panicked about where the sustenance would come from; the Bible says He already knew what He was going to do. Today as I read that story again I speculated that Jesus asked Philip that question because He had already looked into Phillips heart and had seen what was going on inside. I imagine Philip experiencing inner turmoil about exactly how they are going to feed all those people. Having been gifted with leadership talents and maybe a desire to provide physically for those under him, his internal struggle would have been quickly recognized by Him who sees the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Philip's answer expressed the condition of his heart. Not even 8 months wages, 200 denari, would be enough to offer each person a bite! In other words, this task seems impossible, this problem insurmountable. Perfect! Now Jesus had Philip exactly where he wanted him…at the corner of hopeless and hungry. Isn't it always in the darkest hour that any amount of light seems brightest? The stage was now set for Jesus to work one of His most beloved miracles: feeding the 5,000 men (plus untold numbers of women and children) with leftovers! Every stay-at-home-mom's favorite!! It was in the truth of this moment that the Lord spoke to my heart. "Jennifer, how are you going to get through this upcoming deployment?" "Where will you get enough 'bread' to sustain you and your family these long months?" Talk about judging the thoughts and attitudes of the heart! How many times has the Lord 'heard' me ask myself that question? Well, what could my answer be in light of what I had heard from Philip's lips? I had to come to that same intersection with Peter, the place where I can say without shame or fear, "I don't know. Only You, God. The stage is set. Please, work Your miracle in me."

The twilight zone

2010-04-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

There is this point between fully awake, squirming, reaching for all things reachable and zonked, passed out, eyes-slammed-shut sleep where a transient state comes over a baby on his or her way to bed. The last two nights I have found that place with my baby girl, and it is SOOO sweet. Lying in my arms she is looking up at me, square in the eyes, and I am doing the same to her. At times it seems like she is almost looking through me as she teeters on the edge of blessed slumber. I wish I could know what she is thinking. What thoughts go through her young but vibrant mind? Is she noticing the color of my eyes, the shape of my face, or the crookedness of my teeth? Or, during this twilight time, can she see the shape and form of the heavenly beings that I have prayed would come and surround her crib as she sleeps? Does she watch them with delight as they decend with their cheerful faces to be her companion on their nightwatch? Or does her face display the contentment and security she feels down deep inside? Whichever it is, I treasure those moments before her lids fall and she begins her rhythmical breath. To me, it is a confirmation of the mutual love that mother and child have -- a bond known since Eve and Cain.

Easter 2010

2010-04-05T19:01:00.000-07:00

Pictures from Our Resurrection Egg Hunt at Chapel NeXt @ Linden Oaks, Easter Sunday.

319th Battalion Easter Egg Hunt

2010-04-03T04:59:00.001-07:00

StrongBonds -- Myrtle Beach

2010-04-02T18:12:00.000-07:00

Tim put together a StrongBonds retreat for his battalion over the weekend and I was blessed to be able to be apart of it. The location was great (Myrtle Beach) but the weather was non-cooperative. Thank goodness Myrtle Beach has alot of other great attractions to see. If you don't know about StrongBonds, it is a program that the Army funds and the Chaplains run with the mission of strengthening families, marriages, and single soldiers (who will one day be having marriages and families of their own). One of the ways the StrongBonds program is carried out is through retreats that are hosted away from Post and usually in nice locations. This particular retreat we focused on the PREP course (relationship enrichment and problem solving) and had 10 couples (plus kids) with us. These retreats are one of the biggest ways I have been enabled to be apart of Tim's ministry. He allows me to teach with him (on the curriculum that I am certified in) and we also --hopefully-- model what a healthy family/marriage looks like. Quite frequently I get good feedback from the wives, and husbands at times, on presenting things from a woman's point of view. As a "Words of Affirmation" person, this goes a long way for me to know that I am on the right track. It was such a blessing for me to be able to do this and for us be there with our kids.

My sweet babies

2010-03-24T18:53:00.001-07:00

Sleeping soundly, alarm clock resounds

Jump in the shower, dress for the day

Grab a cup of Joe, doctor it up

Await the awakening of my angels

Baby girl coos, a sound so gentle

Snuggle time before the rush begins

Warm fuzzy p.j.'s and a gigantic smile

A wet diaper smell, daybreak's light

Nursing sweetly, praying over her head

Another door creaks, big brother's up

Tousled hair, stuffed animals in tow

Morning breath, smelly but sweet

Hugs all around, breakfast prep begins

Front door opens, Daddy back from PT

This is the stuff of our mornings.

One of my favorite things to do with my children is to listen to music with them, in particular music with a Christian message. I love having the word of God in their ears and on their lips. It is THE EASIEST way to get your kids memorizing scripture…even as young as 2 or 3! We have one CD in particular that I love to play over my kids, especially at night. It is an "oldy but a goody" by Michael Card called Sleep Sound in Jesus. It contains elements of Scripture, prayer, and spiritual thoughts. Some of my favorite lines…

For Dylan: …Jacob dreamed about Someone, A Way to heaven, God the Son, And someday it's my prayer for you That in your heart His dream comes true…

For Jordan: …Where did you get those eyes so blue? They're from the sky that you passed through…And as for your soft curly ear, He knew there would be songs for you to hear…

For both: …Let me tell you of a man Who was before the world began, Who loves you more than anyone can known by the name of Jesus…

…The Lord bless you and keep you, The Lord make His face shine upon you, And give you peace…

At night: …Oh, unseen warriors, brothers, friends, Who for our safety we depend, I ask you now to come defend This precious little baby…

My dear sweet babies – What a blessing you are to me! You truly are an inheritance, a treasure, from the Lord. Your shining, smiling faces are priceless. Your laughs and giggles are delicious. Your God is tremendous!

Life goes on...

2010-03-09T12:09:00.000-08:00

Many, many times over the last month I have wanted to just sit down and blog. Call me nerdy, but it is therapeutic for me. It makes me organize my life (or at least my thoughts about it) and helps me trace God's hand through all the ups and downs. Alas, I have not done so as of late. BUT...I have done alot of other things. I feel like I am at a place where I am caught up (at least for the moment! :) in life. My sweet Jordan is in a stable routine and my baby boy has recenty turned 4!!! We are have adjusted to the dynamics of being a family of four and the fluidity of our day-to-day routine. And so, now to catch up...

The Lord is doing great things in the life of the Raburns and is taking better care of us than we deserve. This semester I began a Bible Study entitled "Sacred Marriage" (based off of the book by Gary Thomas). It is an incredibly indepth book that has more to do with our relationship to the Lord than our spouse...but the kicker is that when that "vertical" relationship improves, so does the "horizontal" one. The more of this book I read, the better I understand my husband and the deeper in love I grow with him...and the more disenchanted I become with myself, or who I think I am. God is using this study to remind me what a great "catch" I have in Tim, to put my marrital relationship in its place, and to increase my reliance on God alone. And in the process, Tim and I are growing closer together. Learning and improving from past mistakes and looking with guarded anticipation at our upcoming deployment, we are holding tight to each other but resting in the arms of Christ. Lord, please continue your work in my life, prune this bushy tree, chisel this gnarled wood, sculpt this lumpy clay...may our marriage reflect the selfless love and unashamed redemption Jesus has for his bride, the body of Christ.

In late January, two big milestones occured.

My birthday (praise the Lord for another year of life, but not going to discuss which year of life :)

Jordan began eating solids

As her 6 month birthday approached, I began introducing cereals into her diet. She took one bite of rice cereal and NEVER looked back. She is a foodie, for sure!! Jordan would and does put every food substance she can get her hands on into her mouth. After trying out several cereals, we moved onto vegies and fruits. I can't really say that we have any favorites, because she LOVES them all! My dear sweet husband bought me a Beaba Babycook appliance (thanks, babe!) and I love it. I can make traditional baby food (pureed) or I can take a little of whatever I'm fixing for us and fix it (basically blend/chop it) up for her. I don't have to buy jars of food (unless we travel or I just want to) and I can make everything fresh for her. She eats at the table when we eat and still nurses about 4 times a day. Jordan goes down for bed between 7:30 and 8pm and wakes up around 7:00 or 7:15am. She rarely, if ever, wakes up in the night (thank you, Lord!) and takes 2 (sometimes 3) naps a day. After MONTHS of teething, finally 2 little pearlie whites appeard on her lower gums on March 2nd. No, I have not been bit yet, but I think that may be because her bottom teeth are covered by her teeth when she nurses. I am cautiously awaiting the arrival of the top teeth :)

Jordan, you continue to be such a joy to our family. You bring so much happiness to our family. Your brother can make you laugh like no one else can. Your smile can light up any room. And your daddy says that the only person on earth with blue eyes prettier than you is me! I love being your mom and I love the fact that God gave daddy and I the privelege of parenting you into a gody woman. You are a beautiful, healthy baby. At your last doctor's visit you were 15 lbs 10 oz and 24.5 inches long. Grow, baby, grow! As of right now, you can roll over with ease, sit up for 30 seconds to a minute and grasp things with one or two hands. You can push up on your belly and lift your head WAY up. Daddy says you are very "vocal", but I know that's just you growing into your womanly ability to talk! Your hair is a dark blonde (light brown) and you have no birth marks, that I've found anyways!

As I mentioned, Dylan recently turned 4. He had a super-fun birthday party at the on-post bowling alley, done up Cowboy style! A few of his closest friends (yes, mostly girls:) were there and we had a delightful time. I have been praying for early salvation (in childhood) for Dylan since before he was even born. Week-in and week-out since his birth, he has head he gospel in some form or fashion. Now, Tim and I are beginning to hear him ask some very probing and serious questions about spirituality, heaven, and the Lord. Nothing else thrills me like that does. To know that his heart is already turning to the things of God is amazing. He is still 100% boy, and without a doubt, a strong-willed one at that. He ALWAYS has a better idea than mine and would LOVE to push his agenda on anyone. For Christmas he received a Toy Story scooter and that has been a favorite toy as of lately. He likes to imagine that he is lightening fast on it and asks me to say "On your mark, get set, go!!" as he races down our sidewalk.

I was recently thinking about how many negatives I hear regularly about the Army and its life. So, instead I compiled a list of:

Things I love about being "Army"

My kids get to pass by the "Iron Mike" statue everytime we go to Bible Study and AWANA...and are reminded of those who are making sacrifices all around them for this country. (Click here for an Iron Mike link)

My 4 year-old has an understanding that there are more countries on this planet than just ours...and can say "Afghanistan".

Seeing Old Glory at least a dozen different places in our own neighborhood

STILL feeling a tear at the sound of The National Anthem

Being called a dependent (I do need you, honey) and being told I have a sponsor (show me the money!)

You never know when you might be able to see paratroopers from your front yard!

ID checks are NO BIG DEAL...and being saluted at never gets old!

Two words: dependable employment

The AMAZING commissary saving$

Tax breaks!

Seeing firsthand the dedication and commitment in the eyes of America's greatest warriors

Jordan's dedication to the Lord

2010-02-14T13:49:00.000-08:00

Wordless Ones by Michael Card

In your loving arms we lay This wordless one so new; The incarnation of our love We dedicate to You. Hopeless, yet so full of hope We make a solemn vow, Not knowing when their time will come, Not knowing even how. And thugh it seems we try and make A promise that is true... We really only claim for them The promise that is You. The holy sleep that falls so deep, A blessing from above, Will now embrace our little one In simple trusting love. We offer you this child who's only ours for just awhile; How could we keep it back from You When You gave Your only Child?

He has made me glad

2010-02-10T14:45:00.000-08:00

The song playing in my head…

2010-02-09T14:00:00.001-08:00

Praise God for Christian music! What better way to get positive words to stick in our heads? Today, this encouraging tune is milling around in head. Thought I'd share it; it's a good one!

Walk On The Water

You look around and staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under?
You wonder
What if i'm overtaken?
What if i never make it?
What if no one's there?
Will you hear my prayer?
When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that he won't let you go

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

So get out and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait
And don't you turn around, and miss out on
Everything you were made for
Gotta be, I know you're not sure, more
So you play it safe, you try to run away
If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

Step out, even when it's storming
Step out, even when you're broken
Step out, even when your heart is telling you,
telling you to give up
Step out, when your hope is stolen
Step out, you can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are waiting, what are you waiting for?

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water,
walk on the water too

A Southerner and a Jew

2010-01-16T19:31:00.001-08:00

What could a dark skinned, curly haired man wearing sandals have in common with a fair skinned, blonde haired gal who says "Y'all"? Not much, or so I would have thought. But the more I learn of Paul in the New Testament the more similarities I see in that analogy.

Paul, or as I should say Saul, was a man steeped in religion and tradition (think "Fiddler on the Roof"). He prided himself on just how many rules he could keep and how methodically he could do things. And all of this was not just some obsessive-compulsive tendency. It was his legacy, his religion, his hope of salvation.

And what about that southern girl? Well, chances are she comes from a long-line of whatever she comes from. She grew up in a home where "It's always done this way" and "saying Grace" were frequently heard. She probably also grew up in church, cutting her teeth on the same pews that her grandparents sat in while her parents got married.

Now in the south, we know how to be nice…or as we say, "nas". We are good girls who don't sass our Mamas and hug our Daddies. We are kind to others and say "Yes Ma'am" and "Yessir". But to what avail? I fear that for many, such a life as this, steeped in tradition and church just as was Saul's, is seen as their legacy, their religion, their hope of going to heaven.

The truth is, all that gets you nowhere except a name in the community and a second helping of dinner. Being good is not good enough with God. Church-going does not equate to heaven-going. Why? Because it is ALL about Jesus. Just as Saul discovered, there is something transforming about the gift of grace that God gave each of us through His son. Now it is no longer about being good or going to church; it is about faith and a relationship with the man who is dying to save your soul. This encounter with Christ is so transforming that even Saul's name, his identifying label, was changed (to Paul). He could no longer be called the same thing anymore; the old had passed away and the new had come.

So how about you? Do you need to break away from your past? Do you need to rethink your religion? Let the transforming power of Christ be yours as you meet Him on your Damascus road.

What it’s like

2010-01-16T19:01:00.001-08:00

From time to time, I have become aware that there are those who are following my blog. This is truly a humbling thing that floors me. I write not to have followers, but to journal and capture our journey as it comes and goes. The Lord has called us to this ministry of Chaplaincy and I want to faithfully tell our story. My hope is that those who are considering this lifestyle will find my words helpful, full of hope, and heartfelt. There is a link on my blog site that will allow you to jump back to the beginning of our story …to get the full picture. But, let me attempt to "nutshell" it for those who are considering the Chaplaincy as a career. {I use the male pronouns by default; I understand that there are some female Chaplains in the military}. What is required of an Active Duty Chaplain is a seminary degree and at least 2 years of experience in the ministry, among many other physical requirements. A Chaplain will also have to have an endorsement from his faith group that states he is capable of adhering to the doctrines and principles of his faith group. (Basically, he's a good guy and stands by his stuff). The next step would be getting accepted into the Army as a Chaplain. This involves submitting A LOT of paperwork to the Accessions Board and then waiting…and waiting…and waiting. (If you are at this point, DON'T get discouraged!). Once the Chaplain is accepted (by the way, while there was once a critical shortage amongst Army Chaplains, statistics show that number is nearly back up to necessary levels) the Accessions Board will notify him of his start date for what is called CH-BOLC (Chaplain Basic Officer Leadership Course). Currently, it is held at Ft Jackson, SC. It will be up to the Chaplain to be sworn in prior to beginning to CH-BOLC, which lasts for 3 months. After completion of CH-BOLC, he will be assigned to a Post and that's when things get real.

Whew!....That is truly a nutshell version and if you are considering Chaplaincy I encourage you to read back through my blog segments for more details. The first year is truly a transitional blur for the Chaplain and his family – just trying to get bearings down and boxes unpacked. We have been in for 1 year now and Tim has been with his Military Intelligence battalion now for nearly 9 months, the first 6 of which were just trying to find which way is up, meeting faces and learning names, and figuring out how to do this "thing" which is the Chaplaincy. For the kids and I, the last 9 months have been about trying to put down deep roots fast. Finding our niche and our routine, all while supporting our Chaplain and his ministry in any way we can. While a Chaplain is in Garrison (i.e., stationed at home), his job duties will include A LOT of counseling and A LOT of meetings, as well as trying to get a plug in for all things spiritual wherever he can. Another unique duty is conducting the Strong Bonds retreats. These are Army funded get-a-ways designed to build and strengthen marriages and families, as well as build and strengthen single soldiers mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and morally. This has been my main connection with Tim's ministry so far, outside of keeping him fed and his clothes clean J

For the kids and I, we have found military life very agreeable. We live in a nice but small house in a great neighborhood. We have good neighbors, many of which we know well and are our same "boat". One good thing about Army life in post is that you always have something in common with your neighbor. Our neighborhood has a nice activity center with a great pool. There are many activities, events, and opportunities that my kids and I are involved in. Currently, the Army is changing things up in our neighborhood and they are going to relocate us into a larger (2000 sq ft!) 2-story house in the near future. What a blessing!!

I don't say all that to make light of the challenges that exist. We have NOT been through a deployment yet and do not know what that is like. I can only imagine the hardships that lie within those 12+ months of separation. But I have chosen to believe with all my heart that God has a plan and a purpose for my existence during the months of deployment that lie ahead of us. Just as God has purposed Tim's steps as a Chaplain and has great things in store for his time in Afghanistan, so He has for me on this side of the world. I also have to believe that God is going to give me the tools and resources I need to face each challenge that he ordains to come my way while Tim is deployed. I pray I can look for the 'help' he will bring me through each difficulty and use that as an opportunity to trace His hand in my life. God will not be watching from afar saying, "Well, you're husband is gone now. Let's see how you'll handle this!" Believing His words are true, I am trusting that He hasn't and will never leave or forsake me.

I would love to speak write/to any of you who may have questions/concerns about the Chaplaincy. I welcome your comments through my blog or my e-mail.

TwentyTen

2010-01-11T18:34:00.000-08:00

2009 has definitely come to a close and 2010 is beginning to feel more like a new friend than a distant relative. Our Christmas was a busy one as we logged 2900 miles in our Acadia while away from home. We left on December 18th for Arkansas by way of Alabama. As we headed on our trek we got news that Tim's grandfather, affectionately titled "Pawpaw", was in his last days. Dementia and other systemic health problems had taken its toll on Pawpaw and his time on earth was coming to a close. After a night's stay at my parent's and dropping off the pups, we made our way to Little Rock. On the 21st two days after we arrived we got word that Pawpaw had headed to heaven to have an early Christmas. So the next day we made the journey back to Alabama for the viewing and funeral. On Christmas Eve, we back-tracked to Arkansas and enjoyed Christmas with Tim's family, including his sister, brother-in-law, and Dylan's and Jordan's cousins. It was a great Christmas with lots of surprises and it was even cold enough to use the fireplace! When headed back home, we went by Mom and Dad's again (to get the dogs of course) and enjoyed a little more time with them. Dylan and Jordan took all the traveling and strange sleeping arrangements in style and handled it all so well. Dylan enjoyed having family around all the time and was thoroughly bored when we returned home. We made it back to bragg on the 30th and enjoyed several days together just the 4 of us before tim returned back to work.

It was so special having a baby around this Christmas. We reflected on the fact that it was this time last year that we found out Jordan was on the way! Having her in our arms and seeing her coo and smile made every light brighter and each song more joyful. Jordan, you are such a precious jewel. Your father and I cannot believe how beautiful you are...from your blue eyes to your smile, we marvel each day at how lovely God made you. You have an open-mouth smile, almost like you are trying to laugh each time you grin. You are in LOVE with your brother; when he comes into the room your eyes lock on him and you watch his every move. He tries to make you laugh every chance he gets, and I have heard you chuckle a few times. Right now you are into rolling over and propping up on your forearms. You love your exersaucer, too. I have begun finding you asleep on your tummy more and more recently. You are somewhere between 13 and 14 pounds and I am so proud that every ounce of that is "homegrown". On January 9th, at 5 months and 1 week, I started giving you rice cereal, twice a day, and you absolutely loved it. It seemed as if you couldn't get enough with each spoonful, like you were wanting a continuous flow of the stuff! You get so messy but like to "eat" at the table with the rest of the family. You take 3 naps a day and, for the most part, sleep about 11-12 hours at night. Mommy is enjoying the gift that Daddy and God have blessed her with in that she has been able to stay home with you and your brother. It has made the past 5 months go by not quite so fast! Daddy doesn't get to spend as much time with you as Mommy, but he sure did enjoy being with you more over his extended Christmas break. The three of us are so grateful that God gave you to our family!

I bought a 12 month wall calendar today for my fridge. I like to keep one in the kitchen so I can track the families appointments and such. As I opened the calendar, it fell open to June. It struck me then that for approximately half of the duration of this calendar, I will be a "single parent, happily married" as Tim deploys sometime this summer for Afghanistan. We know it's coming, but seeing it in black and white can sometimes be startling. It is a necessary deployment, I get that with all my heart. Tim and I both believe that God calls us to serve Him in the hard things as much as in anything. For me the question isn't "Why, God?" but "Why not me, God?" Or, in this case, "Why not us, God?" So with willing (yet sometimes fearfully reluctant, Thomas-doubting) hearts, we say "Here am I; send me". The Bible says in Romans 10:14 "How can they hear without a someone preaching to them?" My prayer is that they WILL hear the message of hope and salvation as Tim faithfully preaches the word and counsels with his soldiers regarding their needs and times of crisis.

Elizabeth’s story

2009-12-27T20:10:00.001-08:00

Luke 1:5-7, 23-25, 57-58

Elizabeth's story is proof that even the most upright in heart will endure suffering… A purpose in the pain

Have you ever stopped to think…If Elizabeth had not been barren, the birth of John would not have been so miraculous. Also, it would not have coincided with the gestating Jesus. Timing is everything with God!

Within herself, she possessed the DNA that could be traced back to the very being of Aaron, the Levitical priest. She no doubt felt the pressure to carry that line and legacy on through her offspring. Elizabeth's suffering through barrenness in the end brought about the "voice crying in the wilderness" to prepare the way of the Lord. It also brought to life the hands that would baptize the Savior.

Elizabeth never quit: she never let her circumstances move her from her continuance in faith.

Upon learning of the pregnancy, Elizabeth was faithful to give all honor and praise to the Lord, stating "[He] has done this for me". There is no record that she questioned or cursed God for finally making her a mother at the age of most grandmothers. Only gratitude and praise flowed from her lips.

God used Elizabeth's body –her jar of clay as in 2 Corinthians 4:7 – as a vessel in order to provide living proof that "nothing is impossible with God."

Elizabeth's faithfulness led not only to her own personal satisfaction and joy in the Lord, but also to that of others. Elizabeth gave renown to the name of the Lord. Luke records that when her neighbors and relatives saw that the Lord had been merciful to her through the birth of John, they shared her joy. Little did those neighbors and relatives know of the great mercy that grew inside of Mary at that very moment. Thank God for these two mothers who willingly endured suffering and shame to bring about (literally) the kingdom of Christ!

Red/White/Blue

2009-12-19T19:01:00.001-08:00

While attending an Army formal affair for my husband's battalion where many soldiers and their spouses were in attendance, I was privileged to observe something that captivated me. In keeping with tradition the ceremony included the posting of the colors. As the color guard began their journey, all in attendance immediately jumped to their feet, standing straight and tall. Each eye was fixed on the flag as it made its way through the room. Their gaze was steady yet revered. They seemed to hold their breath, waiting with anticipation until those precious colors had come to rest and silently presided over the evening's events. Such esteem, such respect is seldom observed anymore. Yet on this night it flowed with ease, practiced and rehearsed many times before. Before me each soldier in attendance was dressed in the best they had, looking stunning and decorated. While the drum roll played, I tried imagining them in their field uniforms in the midst of battle, covered with dirt and debris, fatigued and home-sick. While the two sights stood in stark contrast to each other, one thing was constant. The same soldiers who watched unfailingly until the flag was posted at the head of this ballroom would watch unfailingly over it in a time of war as well – making sure that all it stood for was upheld, guarded, preserved, and protected. They had dedicated themselves to those colors and would not rest until they were properly defended and held high world-wide for all to see that this is STILL they land of the free and the home of the brave. America's military, thank you for teaching and reminding us what dedication means, what selflessness is, and what it means to "…more than self [your] country love…".

Thanksgiving '09

2009-12-04T07:02:00.001-08:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Chaplain in Action

2009-12-04T06:30:00.001-08:00

Here are a few recent pictures of Tim and various aspects of his job. In the first

2 pictures he is performing the invocation for a Change of Command ceremony for Bravo Company, 319th MI BN. The 3rd picture is Tim with all his field gear as he headed out for 3 nights/4 days. Go Chaplain, Go!

Fleeting flowers

2009-12-04T06:11:00.001-08:00

This week at PWOC (my weekly on-post Bible Study) I was blessed with an unexpected gift. Two gifts that is. One I could take with me in my heart and one I could bring home in my hands. This week's devotional was based out of I Peter 1:24. "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever." Our speaker brought with her a bouquet of gorgeous flowers, an exact replica of one her husband had sent her when he was deployed. The flowers were perfectly in bloom. Each color was vibrant and each bloom succulent. Even the greenery was luscious. As believers in Christ we were reminded how much like that bouquet we are. Collectively we make up a beautiful collection of souls when we gather together, giving off a lovely fragrance to the Lord. Some of us are the grand, colorful lilies and some of us are the sprigs of green that give the bouquet fullness. Others off us are like the damaged and repaired Gerber daisy, which our speaker said broke off on the way to class and had to be repaired with tape! Either way, like cut floral, our existence is short-lived. Our speaker displayed a picture of that same bouquet two weeks later. There was no comparison; what was once teeming with life and vibrancy had become dead and discolored. Then our speaker brought the lesson home by referencing the aforementioned verse. No matter how colorful or tall or fragrant we are, we are here for but a moment. The task is ours to make everyone of our fleeting moments count for Him. Eternal beauty is found only in God and His word. Lord, may my life, no matter how short, bring you honor and glory and bring others to your throne!

Sweetest Baby Girl

2009-11-18T18:59:00.001-08:00

Jordan Nataleigh, what a treasure you are! You arrived earlier than expected into our lives, and Mommy had to face one of her biggest fears…leaving the hospital without you. As little as you were (6 pounds, 18.25 inches!) you challenged me, stretched me, and made me grow as a person, as a nurse, as a Mom, and as a woman of faith. What a joyous day when we brought you home! You were already on somewhat of a schedule and quickly adapted to sleeping well at night. You were crazy about your brother almost instantly. He can light up a room with just his smile and you quickly figured out that he was fun and funny! At just a few weeks old you would reach for your Dad's scratchy face when he would hold you close. You and I bonded easily as we spent many, many hours together as a 'nursing couple'. You are sweet and pleasant; you love to smile and can't wait to catch someone's eye so you can flash your cute smile at them. You have the most petite cry! It is more like a squeal than a cry. You like to sleep on your back and you LOVE your swing! You relax so much in your swing that you fall asleep if I don't watch you carefully. You are also a big fan of your vibrator chair. You have great vision and can spot Daddy and me across the room. You sleep fairly well through the night, although you usually can't make it all night long without a feeding…guess you just can't wait 'til morning to see me and be in my arms! You have found your hands and feet, but you are not interested in rolling over…yet. You coo and chuckle and reach for things. You are a doll and everyone who comes within 3 feet of you tells me that you are "such a pretty girl!" Dylan made me a mom, but you have made me a better mom. I love you!

New movie from Sherwood Films (producers of Fireproof)...

2009-11-18T17:20:00.000-08:00

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Winter

2009-11-09T06:11:00.001-08:00

Since January 2005, for whatever sovereign reason, the Lord has taken me on a journey of studying suffering in the lives of His saints. Though not actively seeking this path, I have found myself time and time again learning of the purposes for which God has called Christians to suffer. From sermons to studies to self-experiences, I have been drawn to take a deeper look at that which is dreaded but inevitable. Bro. Brent Summerhill, pastor of Faith Baptist Church in Cabot, Arkansas, (my home church) is currently preaching through a series on Joseph's life entitled Roots Grow Deep in Winter. This series has put into words that which has been formulating in my heart over the last four years. Maybe you are like me, and grew up with the idea that as a Christian life should be grand. Doing right should equate to the 'good life' and those who were having hard times were getting their 'just deserts'. For the good Christian, life should be 'heaven on earth'! And suffering should be a reality check. What factors led me to this type of thinking? Probably a combination of parental ideals, Sunday school teachings, and my own interpretation of the way things should be. I suppose that was exactly why the Lord decided to challenge my way of thinking by bringing me face to face with ideas like those from Dr. John Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life. And face to face with patients who were deeply spiritual and yet still were facing the loss of an unborn infant. I realize my conventional theology was corrupt from the very starting block. Scripture says so. And I believe God is going to work through my life to allow whatever suffering I encounter to bring Him glory and further His kingdom - more than it could be furthered by my "good deeds=easy life" mentality. Let me just say a word about marriage. Perhaps you are a newly married person who is finding him or herself coming down off of the "high" of having fallen in love. You are realizing that love is tough, and marriage is hard, and maybe even that the person you married is not who you thought they were. Reality is striking a knock-out punch. Or perhaps you are through with what you believe is a wasted life-endeavour of marriage to a person who has been nothing but ungrateful and unloving toward you for years. While I haven't experienced all of these emotions, I know there are many, many women who have. In either scenario, you feel cheated and you don't want to suffer another minute. May I challenge you to continue reading? If nothing else, for the sake of the vows you spoke before God and man. It is my prayer that as you take a second look at suffering through the lens of the Scripture, you will see that God can redeem and that he ALWAYS has a plan and a purpose when His children suffer. Remember, Satan had to approach God first before he could get at Job. A marriage that has been through war and back can, with God's help, be matured, beaten, broken and mended and better than it has ever been before. (paraphrase from Sarah Markley) (Of course, if you are in physical danger from your spouse, please get away from him/her and seek help. God cannot work in your relationship if you are dead; and your spouse needs a wake-up call) Let's face it, it only takes a few times around the block of life before the Lord feels distant or (dare I say it?) non-existant. On this earth we can encounter some HORRIBLE times and events, even (and especially) as Christians. In Joseph's story, he was being thrown in prison through no fault of his own and because of something he didn't do. Anyone out there feel like YOU are in a prison? Satan likes to attack us until we feel trapped and alone. Scripture makes one thing clear, though: "But the Lord was with Joseph..." is a phrase repeated in this story in Genesis. In the passages following this one, we can see that not only was God with Joseph, but that he was working through his prison experience to get him back to the palace!! Because of the hurt you are experiencing right now, you may be thinking "Palace? What Palace? There's a palace to be gained from this?" It is not I who say this to you, but the Lord...and his answer is "YES!" Now, allow me to clarify the concept of palace. I do not believe that God has an agenda of wealth, prosperity, and health on the other side of our struggles. But I do believe this: that each one of us who are His sons and daughters have a mansion that awaits us in the coming ages in Heaven. But aside from the next life, I also believe that God wants to use our lives to glorify Him and satisfy ourselves. And those two are not mutually exclusive... Suppose you are in a boat similar to Joseph's at the time of his imprisonment. It can be very hard to lift your mind out of the depths of despair and discouragement that plague us through sufferings. A good place to change your gears of thought could be contemplating how "It could have been worse..." For Joseph, it definitely could have been worse. He could have easily been executed by Potiphar instead of being sentenced to prison. In prison, he could have been killed by inmates or solitarily confined. Instead, it was during this time in prison that God continued developing the masterpiece of Joseph's life. Satan was conniving, but God was creative. How could your situation be/have been worse? Reflection upon such an idea causes us to trace the hand of God even when that which surrounds us is dark and dismal. It sheds light upon His continued mercy and blessings, which are indicative that He is still with us. Joseph's story is a perfect example to us that integrity is no assurance of a life without problems. Jesus Christ, the author and perfector of our faith, suffered immensly - both in His life and on the cross. What more can we expect? Paul's writings are riddled with accounts of suffering for the cause of Christ, all of which he counted as a privelege. We WILL suffer - but not because of the curse of sin that had us bound. What we were once so deserving of, death and hell, has been cancelled for each of God's believers. So to the age-old question of "Why do good things happen to bad people?" we can answer "What is amazing is not the bad things that happen to us, but the good!!" Now our suffering takes on a whole new meaning. Its purpose is to enable us to identify further with Christ's sufferings and so to become more like Him. Whether the cause of our suffering is natural (disease) or man-made (caused by others) is, so to speak, irrelevant. This is how we can reconcile the two facts that Joseph's life exuded integrity yet he was plagued with repeated delimmas. Responding negatively to our trials and sufferings can diminish the potential for joy that exists in our situations. Paul says to "consider it pure joy, fellow believers, when you face trials of any kind". Why joy? Because trials have a way of chiseling at us until we are mature, complete, and more like Christ. THAT kind of joy - more like the Savior! The benefits of what we have gained through knowing Christ and His cross far outweigh anything negative we will face on this earth. Again, Paul said it best in Philippians 3:8, "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." Satan may be the cause of your problem, but he can't be the cause of your unhappiness IF your delight is in the Lord. Remember these words from my former pastor: "The Lord's favor is most clearly seen against the backdrop of suffering."

Words of HOPE

2009-11-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

I discovered a book that was released earlier this year entitled "Rain On Me - 40 Day Devotional Book" by Holley Gerth. I have not read the entire book (it's on my Christmas wish list), but I did discover an excerpt available on the author's blog (Heart to Heart With Holley). I don't typically like to quote from other people (I prefer original writings :) but this was too good not to share. For me it summarizes some of my innermost thoughts quite well... I wear two rings. The one on my left hand is a symbol of love for my husband. The ring on my right hand is a small silver band with one word on it…HOPE. This month marks the five-year anniversary of the reason I bought that little ring. My husband and I have been on the journey to starting a family all that time. In a way it feels like forever and in another it seems incredibly short. When we started down that road I thought hope meant believing God would give us a child. As time went on I discovered true hope is believing God is good no matter what He decides to do. Let me tell you, getting to that place is not simple, neat, or easy. But it’s worth it. I used to think hope was a fluffy, faraway feeling—like cotton candy for your heart. I’ve learned real hope is gritty, real, and raw. It’s strong and wild, unpredictable and fierce. I’ve had so many conversations with God along the lines of, “Lord, no more with the hope thing. Just answer the prayers already.” (Haven’t you had those too?) He lovingly responds, “Lean into me, daughter, lean into me.” When I listen and lean rather than resist, I find rest. I have the hope my heart craves. And (dare I say it?) I even discover joy. We tend to think what we need most is whatever we’re asking for in that moment. God knows what we really need is more of Him in every moment. I’m holding my ring up to the light as I finish writing these words. I can see scratches on the surface. The edges are rough in places. It still needs some polishing. But somehow, despite it all, in the center HOPE remains. Next week Tim and I are hosting a Strong Bonds marriage retreat for Tim's battalion. The location is Savannah, GA and we are presenting the material in Dr. Gary Chapman's book Five Love Languages. We are both a bit nervous for things to go well but have placed it in God's hands for Him to take charge of the outcome and bring the increase. Satan must not be pleased already, for we have encountered great difficulty in just giving life to the possibility of this retreat! This is one of the cool things that the Army allows Chaplains to do, and because I went through the training for Strong Bonds during CH-BOLC I am qualified to co-teach with Tim. What a wonderful opportunity to serve alongside my spouse and soldier! Please be in prayer for the couples in attendance, that the Lord will open their eyes within their marriage and that any spiritual needs that arise that weekend will be handled with the Father's grace and love.

My little cowboy

2009-10-31T18:09:00.001-07:00

"Snips and snails and puppy dog tails; that's what little boys are made of." I love masculinity...

"Sugar and spice and everything nice; that's what little girls are made of."

My sweet baby girl...

Reflections and projections

2009-10-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

Today I took the time to slow down enough to reflect on "this time last year we were..." I like to do that from time to time in order to see how far we've come or how much we've changed, and also to trace the Lord's hand in our lives. This time last year, the final details were coming together for us for the Chaplaincy. Tim was getting ready to quit his "day job" and spend a month at home with Dylan before CH-BOLC started. We were "entertaining" the idea of child #2 (didn't take much entertaining!) and we were spiffing up our house to put it on the market. I can honestly say that the last year has had more changes in it than probably our 10 years together combined. Changing and quitting jobs, entering the military, conceiving a child, selling a home, being apart for 3 months, moving, buying a car, having a child (prematurely)...whoa, head is spinning! Life now is good, but it is very different. My days were once filled with nurse work from 0630 until 1900 and my "off days" were filled with a kiddo and housework. Now, I am a 24-7 nursing mommy :), maid, and cook. Making friends and setting up my "community" has been another task as I prepare for being a "happily married single parent" :) in the near future. I also spend some evenings each month at "coffees" (military wives term for "get-togethers). Soon we will be participating in a marriage retreat for the soldiers and their families in our battalion. My goal is to try to have an active presence in my husband's Chaplaincy ministry, in order to bring glory to God, to be a blessing to the soldiers and families, and use my gifts & talents wisely. Is this what I envisioned? I think so, but the more important question for me is "God, is this what you envisioned?" I have begun asking God that question on a daily basis, "Lord, is this what you envisioned for this day?" Breaking it down like that keeps me from steering off track before I realize it. For the past 3 days Tim has been out in the field doing deployment readiness trainig. He learned alot of important things about traveling in a convoy and had a great time in the process. For me, the past 3 days have been "single mom days". Not awful, but tough. This is my most important ministry roll, to continue on a somewhat normal life for the souls entrusted to me by God. I have a renewed respect for the women surrounding me in my neighborhood who are doing this for 365+ days at a time. It takes grit, guts, determination, but also a tender heart open to the Lord's wisdom and leading...and also it takes someone who sees the burning need for ministry to our troops and is instead willing to change diapers and wash laundry while someone else meets that need. It is not glamerous; there are no medals of honor, no recognition ceremonies. It is tireless and thankless at times. But there is that quiet, gentle voice of the Holy Spirit that so readily reminds us we are all working for the King, no matter what our role.

Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

And a beautiful note to end on, Jordan Nataleigh at 12 weeks. One of those precious souls entrusted to me... :) Lucky me!

The best laid plans...

2009-10-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

Today I had 'one of those days'. You know 'em; not alot went right and everything seemed like a struggle. Upon wakening this morning, I had an extensive agenda for this day. A doctor appointment for myself, going to the Wally-Market, house cleaning, laundry, etc. All good things, nothing selfish, just trying to 'get it all done'. But I do believe I can say with confidence that the Lord had other plans for my day. My plans were derailed and I found myself on several detours. My son's coughing and neon green nose necessitated another doctor's appointment (2 appointments in one day, really!?!?) This turned into a 2 1/2 hours visit to the clinic with a sick 3 year old who does not feel his best and a 2 1/2 month old in tow. The funniest part was when they sent us for a chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia and the 3 year old exclaimed he needed to potty while the baby exclaimed she needed to eat...yes, at the same time! After fumbling through that, finding out that he didn't have pneumonia, and getting our medicine, we made our way exhaustedly to Wally's Market. As if our day wasn't wrought enough, someone saw fit to give me the cart with this worst wheel-issue ever in the history of shopping carts. So there we went, ka-dunk ka-dunk, through the streets of Wally-World. I'm pretty sure I could sense that God was smiling, or at least chuckling. Having experienced days like this one before, I know they can be handled one of two ways: with frustration or with surrender. Although, even though I've been down this road before, I found myself fighting surrender. As the Rich Mullins wrote, "surrender don't come natural to me". But as our outing came to a close and we headed home to quarantine ourselves, I finally made the connection in my heart that while things today seemed out of control, that were perfectly in God's control. How much more peaceful and at peace I could be if I would graciously bow out and usher in God's agenda and the Holy Spirit's presence in each day! Surrendering does not guarantee me smooth roads (neither did that shopping cart!) or easy passage. But it does put me exactly in the place I need to be of total reliance on God. And when your day is unraveling instead of unfolding, there is no safer place to be.

Family Pumpkin Carving 2009

2009-10-19T19:27:00.000-07:00

In what has become a Raburn tradition, Tim spent some time last week carving out our family pumpkin. He really has a knack for this and Dylan and I just sit back and watch in awe (well, I sit back and Dylan circles Tim like a vulture!) With the reality of a scheduled deployment next year will have to find a way to carry on this tradition next fall. Maybe we will carve a Tim face in honor of our soldier. Hooah!

Pictures from the Pumpkin Patch

2009-10-16T13:05:00.000-07:00

Our good friends AND neighbors, Anna Kaye and Ms. Laura

Dylan and Anna Kaye

Mothering...and other memories

2009-10-14T12:24:00.000-07:00

I recently read an article in a religious magazine about a mother who, much like an employee at a corporation, turned in her 'resignation, effective today' to her family. In the resignation, she detailed how she could no longer 'work under such conditions' and was feeling overwhelmed by the number of constituents under her. While the article was written completely in jest, it got me thinking about this life of motherhood. Mothering (in particular, family-making and the formative years) are quite the challenge. I myself am considering writing a book chronicling the years I am spending raising my God-given gifts called children. I do not have sufficient enough material yet to write said book, but I already have a working title. It will be called, "Outnumbered: raising kids without raising hell". But I digress... In my recent attempts to find the balance (that, I've been told, "will come") in dividing time between 2 kids and housework, I have been employing some new strategies. One of which is "Get up before the kids do and get a few things done". Whether its getting a cup of Joe, reading the Bible, or taking a shower, getting something done before the children awake and begin requesting things has been suggested as helpful. I have discovered that this is not possible. You see, the children either have a "Mommy-Cam" through which they see you when you attempt to rise before them OR they have a string which is tied to your foot, and when you rise it rings a bell like Liberty to awaken them from their slumber in order that they might greet you at your bedroom door before you even come into the hallway. Oh well, it was a nice try. I have found myself amazed in the last 11 weeks at what can be accomplished in one day with my hands and the Lord's favor. Serving up 3 meals a day, to suit everyones tastes and likes. At least 1-2 loads of laundry done, folded, and put away. The perpetually endless cycle of dishes in and out of the dishwasher. Remembering our vitamins. The perpetually endless cycle of diaper changing. Looking for hidden toys that I swear I saw out in plain sight just yesterday. Clamoring to find any bit of time I can to spend with the love of my life. Remembering to brush teeth. Looking for that toy again! Paying bills. Giving lots of hugs and kisses. Reading God's word. Slowing down long enough to play a game or to "watch this, Mommy!" Orchestrating naps. All this and more, while at the same time independently manufacturing my own brand of enough milk to keep a growing baby alive. Whew! Maybe I should change my working title to "Circus Cow: Moo!" Orchestrating naps, an oxymoron if there ever was one. When I was pregnant with my second child, I would often wonder what it was like to have 2 young kids. I dreamed of a magic place, one where the children both napped at the same time. And I thought, "Yes! That is how these Moms make it; they put their children down for naps at the same time." What I now realize is that when my son leans over my baby daughter to give her a kiss, he is also whispering to her about the "kid's code of conduct" which I believe states that one child must be awake at all times while Mom is in the house. My baby girl has willingly complied and my oldest has refused to change his ways. At the end of the day, after all the hugs and kisses have been doled out, after the last nursing session, and after all teeth have been brushed, when it is just me lying next to that love of my life...the circus of nap dilemmas and outnumbered situations give way to a heart of gratitude. The lives entrusted into my care, including my husband's, are priceless. As the mother of 2 wonderful children, I am overwhelmed with sweetness and affection. As the wife of an Army Chaplain, I am overwhelmed with pride for my husband and my country. As the child of the King, I am overwhelmed with His love. Maybe I should change that working title, yet again, to "Overwhelmed: blessed beyond measure".

Timely Words

2009-10-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

"My understanding, my feeling, about the importance of the Chaplains Corps is so great that it would be difficult indeed to think of the most important of all of those things for a two or three-minute chat with you this morning. I would like to bring my thoughts right down to the present. "We know that America now must remain strong, by which I mean militarily strong, to sustain in the world the concepts on which our civilization is based, the ideas of the dignity of man, of a government based on religious faith. So it seems to me, as long as we have to do that, as long as our young men must respond cheerfully to their military duty, whether it be in the Reserves or the Regulars, and must do it as a national obligation, your task is especially important. It is to bring home to them, to their fathers and mothers, and indeed to the whole world, how much this is truly a crusade, a crusade for decency, not carried out on a militant basis but on one where we stand firmly behind the great concepts found, indeed, in every great religion but more especially, I suppose, in the Sermon on the Mount, by which this Nation has lived and which underlies its founding. "You bring to the men actually in the Service a sense of doing a wonderful thing-that their sacrifices, the performance of their duty, are important. You give them that sense of feeling, because you bring to them the certainty and the constant reminder that man is a spiritual being. You comfort the United States as it realizes that it has a long period of sacrifice ahead of it and giving of its sons and of its treasure and of its might, doing something that does not of itself advance the cause of human progress and human happiness, defending what we have. "This is a very difficult task, to take all of these complex ideas, these purposes, and put them before all of us in their proper perspective. And I can't conceive of anybody better-more equipped-to do this than the Chaplains Corps, both in its Reserves and active formations, because this is indeed a time of trial, when it tries men's spirits, not merely their pocketbooks. "So I think the one thing I would like to say above all else to you this morning is just simply: Thank you, thank you very much-personally, officially and every way I can speak. Good morning." An Excerpt of Remarks By President Dwight D. Eisenhower to the Members of the Military Chaplains National Association May 9, 1956

If you're anything like me, before you got the the end you probably thought this was a speech given as of late. Not surprising, is it, that true words are timeless? They never lose their season and are applicable over and over again throughout time...much like the Bible. My husband shared this with me and I had to post it because it is such an elequently spoken piece of encouragement to our Chaplains and the core of what they do. My favorite line in this piece is :

"You give them that sense of feeling, because you bring to them the certainty and the constant reminder that man is a spiritual being."

This is one of the best ways to briefly state what it is that our Chaplains do. Their presence is a constant reminder to our soldiers that man is a spiritual being. That thought undoubtedly inspires a myriad of other thoughts which put the thinker on the road to deeper questions like "Why do I exist?" and "Is there a God?". It is this type of soul-searching quest that is the heartbeat of the Chaplaincy ministry: revealing hope to the men & women of the U.S. military and enabling them to come to God just as they are, where they are.

What is an Army wife?

2009-10-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

The Lord is beginning to make me increasingly aware of those around me who are temporarily living alone while their soldier is defending our country's freedom. In my circle of friends, there are at least 8...and I've only been making friends here since early May. At a post like Ft Bragg, deployment is inevitable and more than half of the post can be deployed at any one time. Now, though, those soldiers who are deployed have names and faces that I recognize, and they have families and spouses that I know and love dearly. Those amazing women who, as the patriotic hymn says, "more than self their country loved" and have made the lofty sacrifices necessary to send the head of their house and love of their lives into harms way. What is an Army wife? She is one who endures obstacle and inconvenience for the sake of life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and her husband's calling and career. She can persevere through lengthy absences with nothing but pride for her country and love for her family to spur her on...and the hand of God to guide her. Satisfaction in a job well done comes when she sees her children participating in those things which only happen in the land of the free and the home of the brave. She knows she makes her home with one of those brave...and that she too, is a woman of bravery. She prays for his return, but is glad there are men like hers fighting for our rights and protecting our freedoms. Whether her husband enlisted or was commissioned into the service, she received no schooling, training, or boot camp to prepare her for this life. Yet she finds a way to excel at supporting her soldier and sometimes being Mom and Dad to her children...and cook, maid, launderer, accountant, tutor, friend, nurse, etc. To the Brookes, Lauras, and Katherines of the Army, this has become all to real...yet I've heard none of the whine or complain. I can't help but picture the Father counting their sacrifice as equal to that of their spouse. By ALL means, we owe our love and appreciation to the men and women of the United States Armed Forces. But their families who have loved and supported them, and made it possible and more probable for them to do their jobs well, deserve our gratitude as well. "If you can read this thank a teacher. If you're reading this in English thank a soldier." And thank their spouse, as well.

Finding my voice again

2009-09-08T13:01:00.000-07:00

It has been quite sometime since I have been in the blogging groove. It is definitely something I miss when I don't do it. I guess the best way to describe my love of blogging is that it gives me a voice. A voice that I wouldn't otherwise have. A voice that allows me to express the inner-workings of my heart, to showcase what God is doing in my life. To flesh out things I am going through and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY that God can take this mess of jumbled words and use it for His glory to help someone else along.

I have discovered about myself that at the times when my blog is stagnant it is because that voice inside me is silent. Life keeps pressing on, things are busy, and there is plenty that I could write about. But sometimes at the same time, for a variety of reasons, my heart does not want to put to the pen what is really going on inside. The past 6 weeks have been such an example. Yes, our little bundle of joy came early and the last 6 weeks have been busy as ever. Some might think I have not had time to blog. But others might think "Why haven't you been writing and posting pics? You have so much to show and talk about!"

My husband is usually one of the first people to say something about my silent blog. He enjoys reading it and looks a couple of times a week for a new post. After several weeks of nothing, he'll say something like "Hey, you haven't posted in a while." At this point, I usually do an inventory of why. Sometimes it's because I've stepped away from the Fountain of Living Water and my inner well is dry. I sense that God has silenced that "voice inside" because I am not closely listening to His voice. Othertimes, the voice is speaking but I just don't take the time to post it to words that I know can bless and benefit others. I detest these times of disobedience because I know I am not using my blog for its full God-potential.

But there are other times when what is going on in my world seems like a whirlwind...no, more like a hurricane. And at those times, putting into words what is happening is a near impossibility. God either has me on a strange journey or is allowing me to endure difficulties; I can hardly process what is happening, much less express it. It is as if all I can do is hold on and wait until the ride slows down or until I find my voice again.

I guess I'd say the last 6 weeks have been a combination of all of these factors. Whether it be because of sleep deprivation or hormones, at times my life seems fragmented. Piecemealed. Unorganized. Things we go through sometimes lack sense and logic. Realizing this, it touched my heart to hear the words to a Matthew West song today.

Just lift them up to me

All the broken pieces

Give all the broken pieces of your life to me

Lift them up to Me

Let Me carry you

I will take your pieces

And put them back together

I was reminded today that there are many women (and maybe men!) who are stopping by my blog on their journey toward Chaplaincy. Some of you have contacted me and I'm sure there are others who prefer to observe from afar. Let me say right here that the fact that you even read my blog past the header is so HUMBLING. That God would use this "voice inside" to spur others on, help others in their decisions, lift someone up, is so unbelievably HUMBLING. I doubt that today's post is helpful to anyone besides me inside my own head. But I pray that as I continue to be faithful to blog on this journey that others will find help, hope, healing, and Him.

Lord, help me now as I put my life's focus back on you and your Word. May I be reminded each time I open its cover that it is not an object but a living thing...active, breathing, and sharp enough to divide us to our innermost depth. Meet me, God, at the corner of sacrifice and obedience. I pray I will find myself there each day. Worthy is the Lamb!

And I couldn't resist posting this cutest of pictures...

She's here! (well, she's been here for a little while)

2009-09-04T13:06:00.001-07:00

5 weeks later, I finally have a moment to post! (Better late than never ;0) Jordan Nataleigh Raburn made an early appearance into this world, but not beyond the knowledge and care of her heavenly Father. She arrived Saturday August 1st, 2009 at 12:39pm. She weighed 6 lbs even, and was 18.25 inches long. Not bad for 35 weeks!! She spent 10 days in the NICU (which I WILL blog about at some point...such an experience) and came home to be forever ours on August 11th. She is a delight and a sweet joy. She nurses like a champ even though she was given bottles for a good while in the NICU. She likes to be held and talked to and cries very little. She is a GREAT sleeper and her big brother can't keep his hands off of her. More to come as time allows...right now we are enjoying the 10 day paternity leave the Army provides :)

Countdown to baby!

2009-07-23T06:43:00.000-07:00

I guess infrequent bloggings are my new norm! The summer has been so busy for us. Combine that with my ever-increasing tiredness and you might can see why I haven't spent much time on here. Facebook statuses are about all I've had the energy for! At this point I am just shy of 34 weeks pregnant with this sweet baby girl. Her room is coming together and I feel mostly prepared for her arrival...as prepared as I can, I suppose. We have been praying for her health, safe arrival, and her transition into our family. We are also praying for Dylan's acceptance of her and his 'bound-to-change' behavior...that it will be as mild as the Lord sees fit to allow! I think I am already seeing some of that in him, maybe partly because he senses change and partly because I just cannot keep up!! Just moments ago he was circling me at full speed in our living room/dining room/kitchen area like a buzzard...or like Dash from The Incredibles! He is also in a phase where he does NOT like being left anywhere without me, including Sunday School and mother's-morning-out. But he doesn't mind going over to our neighborhood friend's houses and staying all day. Go figure!! Tim and I hope to make some special memories with him over the next month like taking him to Build-A-Bear to make a special something for Jordan and taking him places like Monkey Joes, our local bounce house. Our big summer adventure included an interesting trip followed by grandparents visiting from both sides. In mid-June, Dylan and I flew to Alabama to spend a few days with my parents. Then Tim drove over with our 2 dogs to pick us up. We left the dogs at my parent's house and headed to the Little Rock/Cabot, AR area (for a very short time!). Then we headed north to Springfield, MO for the annual ABA meeting. Then we did all that again in reverse: back to Cabot, back to Alabama, then finally back home...for Tim and I. I had a doctor's appointment to get back for, so we brought the dogs back to North Carolina with us but Dylan stayed in Alabama a few more days with Grammy and Poppy and rode with them to our house in North Carolina. We celebrated the 4th of July with Mom and Dad by taking a 3-day trip to Wilmington, NC, a local beach spot on the coast. After returning home, Mom and Dad left and then Babu and Nana arrived for a week's stay. Needless to say it was "alot of goings on", but a load of fun and unforgetable for Dylan. That was my "last hurrah" of adventure before settling in to build my next here at home!! :) Life here on post has become a norm for us and this place feels like home. Even the dogs are settling in and not barking quite so much at each and every walker & runner that come by our house! I continue to meet friendly people and their families everyday. Some of these relationships are turning into sweet friendships that I know I will cherish for years to come. Tim and I have settled on which Chapel to attend and we are getting plugged in. There are several other Chaplain families that serve there and the people there are wonderful. The Lord is definitely doing a work at Chapel Next, Linden Oaks. I am surrounded by women who's husbands are dealing with or facing deployment. I have not yet let myself begin to process what that will be like, but my heart and prayers go out to them. They are families just like ours, with children who love their fathers. They are women just like anyone else with struggles and fears. But they are asked to do extraordinary things. With the notice that the Army gives, it is nice to be able to plan ahead for such an adjustment. But at the same time it can grown to become an agonizing and painful anticipation of that coming time. If you are reading this and the Lord pricks your heart, pray for them, their spouses and their families. Pray for grace and mercy, for strength and wisdom, and for courage.

Pictures from our July vacation

2009-07-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

Here are recent pics from our vacation and time with grandparents (my parents). Dylan had his first trip to the beach and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He kept referring to the ocean as "the swimming pool at the beach"! The pictures of the picnic are from Tim's battalion organization day.

Powerful Prayer

2009-06-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

OPENING PRAYER BY RETIRED NAVY CHAPLAIN JOHN P. SAUNDERS AT THE ABA 2009 MEETING Eternal God, our Father, thou hast been our strength and help for the past 234 years, and You are our hope as a nation for years to come. Thank you Lord for the privilege of living in America. Thy divine providence led our forefathers in building a nation upon the principles or righteousness, justice, liberty and individual responsibility. Your goodness and blessing through the years made us the greatest nation on earth, a nation of free people who delighted in the law of God, believed in the sanctity of human life, and the sacred vows of marriage. From our humble beginning we were known as a Christian Nation because we believed in the teachings of Jesus and worked to insure that Godly men were elected to high positions of government. You continued to bless us and we became the wealthiest nation on earth. As years passed we gradually became apathetic, independent and self-serving, forgetting that faith in God had made us great. We took a wrong turn, and followed the ways of evil men. We allowed ungodly leaders to take prayer out of our schools, God out of government, legalize killing our unborn children, and to legitimize homosexuality and same sex marriage. We cast off moral restraint and replaced it with permissivism. We have replaced individual responsibility with a growing dependence on government welfare. We have traded spiritual faith and courage for complacency and appeasement. We call evil good and have jettisoned the values of our forefathers. We are losing our reputation as a Christian nation, and are undeserving of your blessing and favor. Help us to turn back in repentance and seek your face again. O Lord, we pray for our President and our nation’s leaders. Open their eyes to truth and the ways of God before judgment falls. May they learn the simple truth that “the same principles that made our nation great, will also guarantee our future.” Bless and protect the men and women in uniform that fight for our freedom and way of life against our enemies. Bless our Chaplains as they minister to the troops and their families. We pray that the Prince of Peace and the day of peace may soon come to earth. Lord, we thank you for the privilege to assemble here as members of the Churches of Jesus Christ. Help us exalt You above all and to pursue your kingdoms work of spreading the Gospel to the lost world. Bless our Moderators and officers, our missionaries and your churches. May all we do give honor and glory to You. We pray in the great and mighty name of Jesus. Amen

Life and such

2009-06-03T06:47:00.001-07:00

I checked out my own blog today and couldn't believe how long it had been since I had posted! Time is really moving fast these days. It seems that the weekdays just fly and then it is the weekend again. Dylan and I have been enjoying our neighborhood pool since it opened Memorial Day weekend. Tim is making his presence known amongst the troops and has been busy with his Chaplain duties. We are narrowing down our decision on which Chapel to attend for worship. There is a Chapel being held at a community located 20 minutes from here but it is an on-post community. We have to drive off-post and then back on-post again to get there. It is just starting but God is definitely working there.

I have been trying to be a visible presence along side Tim as well as I attend different meetings and functions with the Army. I want to be an example for Christ whenever I can and I also want to be known amongst the troops and spouses as someone who is approachable in case they need to talk or are searching for Christ. I want to be more than just a supportive spouse. I don't know what kind of experience these ladies (and men) have had with Chaplain spouses in the past, but I pray that I will be different in a good way in order that they see Christ more clearly. Lord, I pray you will use me in this way!

Dylan had his first "teeth tickling" at the dentist last week and he did great! Even sat still for x-rays! I was so proud of him...and his teeth got a stellar report :) This pregnancy is really progressing...and so is my belly :) We have settled on an official name: Jordan Nataleigh Raburn. Tim has been busy pink-ifying her room! We are resuing alot of Dylan's things but trying to make them a bit more feminine. Pics will follow when the room is complete.

Hope for the Home Front

2009-05-20T04:59:00.000-07:00

Marshele Waddell http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WHbEAhf6h8

PWOC...Oh, the Army's acronyms

2009-05-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

Today one of my new found Chaplain's wife friends and I (and our kids) went to the Protestant Women of the Chapel (PWOC) Bible study this morning and had a great time. Today was called “Tea and Testimony Time”. They sat us at tables and each table had a “hostess” who had brought her own teacups and saucers as well as china pitchers and we each had a different flavor of tea packet in our cups. I was blessed to have a Vanilla Chai packet in my cup (my favorite)! We had a time of worship at the beginning and then several other worship songs were sung throughout. They gave out awards and nice bags to many of the ladies who had served or led Bible studies. This was the last meeting for this semester, so several of the ladies got up and gave a testimony about what PWOC had done for them or meant to them this year. One lady testified that through PWOC, she had come to know Christ and eventually her husband did too. He has now been sober for 9 months through the power of Christ and her life has been totally changed through the relationships she made at PWOC. That one made me cry, just being reminded that God is still powerful enough to change lives. Amen! "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand..." They also had a change of command, so to speak, as the officers (i.e. president, vice-president) for the ’08-’09 year were retired to make way for the officers for the ’09-’10 year. The dynamic of the group is so diverse and multi-cultural. I saw several of the Chaplain’s wives there I had previously met. There are retiree spouses, widows, active duty spouses, and even some non-military spouses. It is pretty much like any other group you might find in a church setting – young, old, hurting, babes in Christ, mature, etc. We just all share a common bond through our spouses (and in some cases friends) who are in the military. I really enjoyed it and the atmosphere was so welcoming. It was a breath of fresh air to be in that kind of setting after being away from our home church so long. In her testimony, one of the ladies spoke about letting go of the facade of control that so many of us moms and wives think we have over our own lives...and give total control to God. Stop worrying about what you can't control and start channeling your energy toward what you can control...which is really only yourself. With the Army, unpredictability is the norm. Unfortunately for me, I am a planner extrordinaire and I know that will be a tough struggle. The lady who spoke said, women outside the military face this too, they just don't have any one thing to blame it on like we do... the Army! :) But despite the way it seems, Jesus still commands my destiny. The Army may look like they give the orders but as the Scripture says "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps" Proverbs 16:9. We are never outside of his control or concern.

The heavens declare

2009-05-12T12:53:00.000-07:00

As I sit and write this, I am in the backyard of our new home in North Carolina and it is a gorgeous day in May. It is a perfect 73 degrees outside and there is a gentle breeze. I am rocking in one of the chairs that goes with my new patio furniture set given to me by Tim and Dylan for Mother's Day. I am looking at the lush green grass and trees that surround me. And I am listening to the silence that surrounds me, except for only a few chirping sparrows and cooing doves. The dogs are quietly resting in their pen and Dylan is fast asleep. The house is all clean and I feel better than a pregnant woman should! This is truly a beautiful moment. No, it is not a dream...it is reality. And I am savoring it. After the months of seperation and transition that we endured, this is truly a moment of Heaven on Earth, a blessing from the Lord. I am truly thankful to Him for all he has done to bring us back together as a family, to get Tim off to a good start with his ministry, to give us a healthy baby and pregnancy, and to bless us with a good home and the luxury to be a stay-at-home-mother. My heart is full of gratitude, Lord. I do not know what the next curve in the road holds for us, but for today I'm rejoicing in the serenity that befalls me.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.

Psalm 19:1-2

Our days here are slowly turning into a routine. Tim begins each day early with PT and returns home to us for breakfast and a shower. Then it's back to work at 9am and most days it he is home for lunch with us. At the end of the work day, we are back together again for dinner and family time. With the deployments that will come our way with Army life, I am grateful for this time of togetherness. The biggest thing I am grateful for at this point is the light I see in Tim's eyes...the assurance I see in his face as he is partaking in the ministry that the Lord has called him to. There is no shadow of doubt or hint of a question...just confirmation from the Lord. He has spent much of his time getting to know the soldiers in his battalion and making it known that he is an "accessible" Chaplain, with the prayer that when they are in need they know they can turn to him. The Chaplain that he is replacing has been mentoring him but will soon be leaving. In a couple of weeks it will be all Tim (and God!). On Sundays we have been visiting the various Chapels on post to try and find the one that suits Tim for ministry the best and that suits our family's needs. Each Chapel is so different and unique in its makeup. There are some similarities to a civilian church, but it is definitely Army-flavored. I hope once we settle on a Chapel that we can plug ourselves in to minister there. I also hope that we can find a Bible study or Sunday School for Tim and I and an AWANA type ministry for Dylan (and eventually Jordan). One Sunday morning service just isn't enough...I NEED and WANT more in my spiritual diet than that. It is definitely taking some determination on my part to get in personal Bible study time, or else I just run dry spiritually. I think I realize that I was spoiled through all that came my way from the Scriptures at our home church. Last week I attended a Chaplain's wives event, and it was a great experience. Every month or so, the Chaplain's wives get together for a coffee or a dinner in an effort to get to know one another. This month they had a dinner at a nice, historic restaurant in Fayetteville. The food was good but the fellowship was even better. I met so many wonderful women whose husbands serve in the US Army as Chaplains here at Ft Bragg. Undoubtedly I was the newest Chaplain's wife (and maybe the youngest :) but it did not bother me. I am learning to glean from the best and to find wisdom in those who have gone before me down this path. I am thankful that such a community exists and look forward to finding my niche within.

Pictures of our on-post house

2009-05-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures I took of the outside of our on-post house. It is a nice, newly refurbished duplex in a GREAT neighborhood and we are happy here. Since I took these pics, the lawn care guys came and trimmed back the tall bushes so they're not quite so bushy!!

Front view of the house

Left front view of the house

Left side view of the houseRight front view of the house

Carport view (the couch is gone!! Sold at the post-wide yard sale!)

The post-wide yard sale went well for us...we were able to rid ourselves of alot of things that we can't use/don't need/don't have space for anymore since moving here from our larger house. And we made a pretty good profit too! We got to know some of our neighbors better and met some new neighbors. All in all it was a great day! God continues to bless us here and we continue to find our joy and satisfaction in His presence.

1 week and hundreds of boxes later...

2009-04-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

We have officially been in our on-post house for 1 week now. This week has been chaotic to say the least. I knew how much stuff was in our storage unit, but seeing it get unloaded AGAIN here at our new house overwhelmed me all over again. I have had to constantly remind myself that these 'things' are not just 'stuff' but 'blessings from the Lord'. We basically went from a 1650 sq ft house to a 1320 sq ft house...with most of the same stuff :) It has been a challenge and physically exhausting (for a pregnant girl) to unload all these belongings, sort through them, and find a home for them. Today we had 15 feet of trash lined up at the street for trash day! Praise the Lord for decluttering...it feels SO good! Next time we will declutter BEFORE we move. Thank goodness for the post-wide carport sale this Saturday!! Fortunately, Tim had requested 10 days of "permissive leave" so he has been here every step of the way. I could not have done this with out his help, and the help of my parents who were here for the first couple of days after the move. As of now, we are 95% unpacked (I shall pace myself for the other 5%) and are going to spend the next 3 days of Tim's leave time enjoying ourselves and relaxing. Since I have been given the gift of being a WAHM (work at home mom...very part-time), we can finish up the household later and enjoy our family time now. Fort Bragg is really nice. Our neighborhood is great, really quiet, lots of sidewalks and parks nearby, and a pool just at the end of our street. The people here are very friendly and our neighbors are great. We are surrounded by several Chaplain families, which is so cool! Dylan is very happy to be settled, to have his own room, and to be with his dad again. The Lord has indeed blessed us and taken care of us during this time of transition. He even allowed us to purchase a 2009 GMC Acadia for me to drive, that is paid in full!! We have been visiting a different protestant Chapel each Sunday in an effort to find the one where Tim would best like to serve. So far they have been like Goldilocks and the 3 bears...too hot, too cold, too big, too small, maybe some that are just right but we will keep looking for a couple more weeks...all the while praying for God to show us which one. I was surprised to find that alot of the attendees at these Chapels have been retirees. I am glad, though, because this makes for a nicely well rounded congregation. Both in and out of the Chapels, the people here seem to have purpose. For me, that makes for such a nicer atmosphere. I pray that Tim and the other Chaplains here can help the soldiers see that their deeper purpose is to glorify God and be satisfied in Him.

Dear Jordan,

2009-04-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

Your daddy and I are busy deciding on a middle name for you. We haven't quite figured it out for sure, but there are a few things that we DO know for sure. Even as little as you still are inside me, just 20 weeks big, we love you oh-so-very-much! You will come into a world where you are as loved as a little one can be. Your daddy is extremely excited to be having a girl, since he's already got his boy. I think he is looking forward to spoiling you and watching you wrap him around your tiny finger! I can't wait to hold you and smell your sweet skin, and see how much you look like your brother :) Jordan, besides being loved already, the thing your daddy and I hope the most for you in this world is that you (and your brother Dylan) know how wonderful and real God is. We are spending our lives following His voice, not because we are afraid of Him or because we have to. But because we want to and we love Him with all our hearts. We know that He is as real today as He was in the pages of the Old Testament (that's in the Bible; I'll show ya!) and that He is still in the business of loving and saving people. He is someone worth giving up your life and its comforts and conveniences for! Our deepest prayer is that someday you understand and can worship God this way. For now, just know that He loves you so much that He gave up his little baby... Waiting with open arms, Dad & Mom

The first 2 weeks

2009-04-16T11:10:00.001-07:00

We are coming to a close on our first two weeks here at Ft Bragg. It hasn't been too far from what I expected, with the exception of the fact that we have been living in a one-bedroom hotel! Tim does PT early each morning with different soldiers from the companies in his battalion and then comes home for breakfast and a shower. Dylan and I get to eat breakfast with him (which is a real treat and different from our former life where we all got up at different times). Tim is also able to come home for lunch since he works so close and his lunch breaks allow plenty of time for that. His day finishes up between 4:30 and 5pm and then he is home for the evening. I'm sure there will busier days and times when he can't come home to see us so much. In fact, I know he will have to be "out there" some lunches and evenings with his soldiers in order to meet them where they are with God's message of hope. But I have so enjoyed having him around and being a family again. Practically speaking, I wish I had done a couple of things different. One of which is to keep my child's shot record handy instead of packing it. If so, I could have enrolled him in part-time day care and taken advantage of the many classes/briefings/meetings that are offered to spouse's. There is not alot to do during the day in a 300 sq ft hotel room, so I wish I could have gotten out and gone to the spouse's orientation and the PWOC (protestant women of the chapel) meeting. Also, since I love to walk and exercise, I could have explored the many beautiful trails here on Ft Bragg. I guess there will be time enough for all that in the future. Also, I wish I'd brought more movies for Dylan to watch (Red Box has been our friend!) and more outdoor toys to play with (i.e. riding toys, balls, etc.) Anyways, live and learn...and the next time we PCS (permanent change of station...restation) I will know better. This morning Tim started his day with a 2-mile ruck march where he toted a 35 pound ruck sack on his back while marching. The past 2 mornings he has run 4 miles before I even got out of bed! His stamina amazes me. After September I will have no excuses not to get super-fit with him. For now, baby Jordan keeps me grounded :) Tim has had alot of time to get to know his Chaplain Assistant as well as a few others C.A.'s this week. This afternoon he is participating in a memorial service for a soldier who was killed stateside over last weekend. Memorial services have to be a Chaplain's least favorite duty, yet it is probably what families of fallen soldiers benefit from the most. I pray that Tim is someday able to lead in this kind of ministry in a way that Supremely comforts the hurting and gives Hope to the grieving. I also pray that his spirit, his light, is not dimmed by the darkness of these events. We will be moving into our house on Monday (3 more days!!) with the help of my parents. It is soooo good to have family who is able to come and help! I will post pics of the house when I get some.

Easter 2009 -- He is risen!!

2009-04-12T07:03:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more pictures from our morning. It was cold here at Ft Bragg for our sunrise service.
And here is the first of my "belly shots". This is Jordan and I at 19 weeks. There really wasn't much to photograph until now. The bump is kind of hard to ignore at this point!

Easter festivities

2009-04-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

The slide show above is of our family picnic as we gathered just before leaving Columbia. Both sets of Dylan's grandparents were there, as well as Aunt Liz and Uncle Robert.

This morning we spent some time exploring the post. We drove around and looked for street signs and landmarks -- only getting lost a couple of times! :) After lunch and a nap we took Dylan to what was listed in the paper as an "Easter Egg Hunt" at the local youth center on post. We decided to skip the beforehand festivities (who schedules a kid's event to start at 2pm? It's like the universal nap hour!!) and just to go for the Hunt. We arrived a couple of minutes before the Hunt was to begin. The best way to describe it is PANDEMONIUM! There were about 300 kids jockeying for position as workers threw thousands of pieces of candy on the lawn of the youth center. At the blowing of the whistle the kids took off and scooped and foraged the candy. Not exactly the representation of the meaning of Easter we want our kids to grasp! :) So pint-sized Dylan managed to get about 4 pieces -- and then it was ALL gone. In less than one minute that lawn was completely clean! Anyways, Dylan had a good time but was a little overwhelmed with the whole situation. Here are a few precious pictures.

After feeling a little "let down", we came back to our hotel-home and dyed Easter eggs. I guess we didn't take the time to properly explain what to do with the little color pellets because as soon as we gave one to Dylan to put in the vinegar he put it straight in his mouth!! It was the blue pellet, now less! Thank the Lord they are made of food grade, non-toxic dye! Here are a few pictures of the finished product.

Tomorrow we plan to attend a sunrise service on post to celebrate our risen savior. Tim is going to visit various Chapels until he finds one he feels he and we fit in with and then plug into the ministries there. Happy Easter, everyone!

A day of fasting and praying

2009-04-08T11:33:00.000-07:00

Today the Chaplain's at Fort Bragg (and possibly other posts) are Fasting and Praying for suicide prevention. Last year the army saw its highest suicide rate in 3 decades. Please pray that these men and women serving God in the military are able to reach the hurting where they are and keep precious lives from being lost outside of the warzones.

Trusting in God

2009-04-06T12:28:00.001-07:00

The past 2 days my mind has been continually meditating on Psalm 91:1-2:
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust".

The Lord has been taking care of us in amazing ways, but this transition has been rough. The 3 of us are basically staying in a hotel room that has 2 double beds and a mini fridge, freezer, and microwave. There is one kitchen with a stove and sink for the whole building, and it is downstairs. Oh yeah, and no elevator...and I'm 19 weeks pregnant :) Now I know that's not exactly what some would call "suffering for Jesus" but it has been stressful trying to figure out how the 3 of us who have not been together much will now survive in a 300 sq ft space for 15 days. It is SO good that we can be together and I have missed our "family". But I am definitely longing for our house (should be ours by the 20th) and some space!
My mind has definitely been focused on our surroundings, and so this verse couldn't have been more timely for me. I am not dwelling in a small hotel room, but in the shelter of the Most High God. I am not sleeping on a double bed (with my husband and my growing, pregnant belly!); I am resting in the shadow of the Almighty. The hotel we are in is called the Leal Guest House. As I was showering yesterday morning, the spirit prompted me to look up the meaning of the word "leal". So after I showered and dressed, I looked up "leal" and found that it means "faithful, loyal, true". That's when I got goosebumps. The last part of this verse says that God is a refuge, a fortress, and someone we can TRUST! As random as this room assignment seemed to be, God used it to show me that I am in the Leal House, His house, His place of trust.
Sunday was a tough day. Reality hit and I had a hard time dealing with it all. I found myself not in a place of doubting what we were doing but feeling somewhat overwhelmed. Part of it was just the situation we are in and part of it I feel certain was Satan up to his never-ended scheme of making us take our eyes off of the author and finisher of our faith. There wasn't much we could do about our situation, but we could do something about the way this room looked! After a major overhaul, alot of organization, and a home cooked meal things were looking up! My motto has been and still is "One day at a time."
Dylan, who is 3, has been doing WONDERFULLY through it all. He has nothing but excitement for all that is going on and told me this morning "I like this cool place, Mom!" Wow, I wish my attitude could be that positive :) As he and I walked hand in hand today through the post hospital he randomly told me "Mom, you're so beautiful!" What did I do to deserve that? So flattering, and yet so humbling. God, help me to live in a way that is worthy of the blessings you have already bestowed on me.
Not wanting to leave out Tim, let me say what is going on with him. So far, it has just been paperwork, or what the military calls in-processing. Lots of information, little excitement. But Tim loves just being in this environment. He hopes to meet his battalion (the group of soldiers he'll be directly responsible for) on Thursday. If you are following our Journey, I pray it is a blessing to you as you. And please pray for us and the men and women of our military.

Transition so far...

2009-04-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

Saturday, April 4th, 3pm

Since returning from the retreat at Kanuga, I have been in classes at Ft Jackson with other Chaplain’s spouses. The FRG (family readiness group) at Ft Jackson has begun providing a 3-day class designed to prepare the spouses of Chaplain’s for the world they are about to enter. The information we were provided was wonderful and necessary but overwhelming. It is a lot to take in. We basically went over in 3 days some of what took weeks for our spouse’s to cover in their classes. However, I now feel prepared…armed, if you will, for meeting the task that is to come.

Hearing the stories of the panel of wives during the seminar to me was priceless. Each one of their precious faces told me the same story, “You can do this. You can make it. It IS possible.” This will not be an easy life; it will not be a passive life. It will be what I, what we, make it to be. If we expect “great” and work toward it, that is what we will see. If we expect less, we will not be disappointed. One of the Chaplain instructors spoke to us the first morning of the seminar and he gave us a visual picture of what the majority of our ministry role will be. Exodus 17:8-13 says:

Then Amalek came and fought with Israel at Rephidim. So Moses said to Joshua, “Choose for us men, and go out and fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand.” So Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought with Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword. (ESV)

I treasure this analogy, because it reminds me of so many things. It reminds me that we are in 2 wars, physical (fighting terror) and spiritual (fighting Satan). Also, it reminds me that God has called my husband to this fight. It helps me remember that he WILL grow weary…just expect it. And when he does, put a stone under him, allow him to sit, and help hold up his hands. I know that is my duty and I pray that I am sensitive to those things and I perform them well.

To see Tim graduate from Chaplain Basic Officer Leadership Course (CH-BOLC) was almost a surreal thing. It was one of those moments in life that you anticipate for so long (longer than just these 3 months), and when it comes you think “I can’t believe it’s happening!” I don’t know when I’ve been more proud of him. As I write this, we are on our way to Ft Bragg to “settle in”. Although we won’t officially settle into our home until the 20^th of April, we are going to begin our life there today as we check into hotel-like accommodations. I know there is so much to do, with moving, unpacking and Tim beginning a new job. But my mind is easy and my heart is calm. I know that each step will be orchestrated by God and that his strength and grace will be given me to meet each challenge. My pregnant body has definitely had trouble keeping up with the fast pace of the past week and a half (make that 3 months!) but I am still standing, and this baby is still kicking!

My mind is mostly consumed with thoughts for Tim and what is about to commence in his life. Today we should meet one of his head Chaplains and Monday Tim should meet his Chaplain Assistant. This assistant is an 18-year old Private Second Class whose job is to help Tim carry out his tasks and to defend him whenever there is a need for it. You see, Chaplains are weaponless at all times, even war. I am praying already that this PV2 is a good aim and shot, and that his heart is in the Lord’s hand. If you are following our Journey, please pray for us over the next month. It may be a difficult time for us as we adjust and transition. For God and Country…

Together again

2009-03-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

Our time of separation has finally ended as I arrived at Ft Jackson last Thursday evening. It was so good to be with my husband again -- to see him and talk with him. We got to share a neat surprise soon after my arrival. I brought with me the envelope which contained the gender of our child written down on paper. I had the ultrasound done earlier in the week but was sworn to secrecy by the Lieutenant until my arrival! So very "Army"!! By the way, IT'S A GIRL!! The picture in this post is of Kanuga, a retreat center in North Carolina. The day after I arrived, the Army bused all the Chaplains and as many of their wives as could come to this retreat. The best way to sum it up is that it is a retreat designed to show us how to put on a retreat. Part of the hardship of being in the military is the toll it can take on families. This program called "Strong Bonds" was developed by a Chaplain to be used to strengthen marriages and families as well as prepare single adults for married life. It has been a pleasure to be here for many reasons, the first of which is getting to be with Tim. The retreat setting has been nice, quite a change of scenery and pace for both of us (even with the excessive amounts of rainfall we've had!). Also, the material and information presented is real and practical. It is required that it be applicable to people of all faiths, so it is basically spiritually neutral. This has bothered me at times because God, Jesus, and the Bible are so instrumental in maintaining our families and marriages. Jesus is the basis for everything! But keeping in mind that all truth is God's truth has helped me to remember that no matter what psychologist "discovered" a theory, God created it! One other thing I wanted to blog about is my take on these Chaplains. The sheer number of guys (and a small number of women) is almost overwhelming. The morning we started out on this trip we all met at one location and all 100+ of them were lined up in formation. Talk about intimidating! They come from all different backgrounds, faiths, denominations, families, states (and countries), and personalities. Some of them are LOUD and some of them are introspective. Some are excited and eager and some are nervous and anxious. Some of them are on a "spiritual" path that isn't leading to heaven. But for the most part, they have one thing in common. As different as they are, they have all heard, felt, and answered two calls. One to serve their Lord and one to serve their country. The more time I have spent around them, the less intimidating and more personal they have become. They are pastors, youth ministers, men with a heart for ministry who have humbled themselves to be servants and submitted themselves to the grueling ways of the Army. The biggest things I feel for them are pride and gratitude. It is also my prayer that those who are sharing Christ with our nations soldiers will see fruit in their ministry as lives are changed for Him!

Finishing a tough leg of this journey

2009-03-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

Our 12 week seperation is coming to a close. And I am so ready for it to be over. I want to be careful in how I say this because I don't want it to seem at all like I think God has abondoned us during this time. He hasn't. But all the same it has been tough. A reflection on the things that have happened during the past 10 weeks:

10 weeks of early pregnancy (blechhh! and zzzzzz)

Turning 30 (woohoo!)

Dealing with nausea

Getting an offer on our house

Counter-offering

Getting an acceptance on a counter-offer

Having a buyer try to back out

Having a buyer change her mind on backing out

Dealing with nausea

SELLING A HOUSE!!

Valentine's Day

A violent stomach bug that won me an ER trip

Making repairs on said house

Packing, packing, packing...

Moving

Dealing with nausea

Dylan's 3rd birthday

Tim's birthday

Dealing with 2 very unhappy but loved dogs

Maintaining a paying job :)

Trying to keep stability in place for Dylan

Managing military movers moving our "stuff" from storage to storage

Preparing for life at a new PCS (permanent change of station, for you civilians)

Several trips to AL and SC

And that's just what I can remember at 11pm at night!! Whew. It makes me tired just looking at the list. But the awesome thing is that God met every need at every turn. Some days I felt like a conqueror, and others I felt like I had been granted just enough grace for that moment. Surely, Lord, You were my shield, protecting me from harm and destruction. Truly, Lord, You were my strength when I was weary from the pregnancy or just the chaos. Defintely, God, You were our portion to provide what we needed day-to-day. Undoubtedly, You were my deliverer who brought me through it all.

The Lord was faithful to instill a vivid memory in Dylan of his father and a longing to be with him again. Thanks to the technology of cell phones and web cams, we have stayed in touch more than I ever dreamed. One thing I know is true: you can't outgive (or out-serve God). It seems like the more we give of ourselves to Him, the more He heaps out on us. I am eagerly anticipating what God will do as we begin life at Ft Bragg...we WILL resist all attempts to become Tarheel fans!!! Go Bama!

I feel somewhat selfish for talking about all that I've been through without mentioning that which Tim has endured. However, he reminds me that I am fighting a battle of my own...on the homefront. One that is no less important than his; just different. Soldiers are only as strong as the families that support them. My prayer is that in blogging my experiences others might come to realize that they too can do this...that anyone can give their all, their life, to God and watch Him trace their journey. As the song says "Jesus commands my destiny". For God and Country...

And the blessings continue...

2009-03-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

This week we found out that we should have the keys to our new house (okay, well, duplex) on or before April 20th. Alot sooner than we expected!! The movers are coming next week to transport or worldly goods to Ft Bragg. Yay! And I leave in 2 weeks to attend a Chaplains & spouses retreat with Tim in North Carolina. Double yay!! After that a 3 day training seminar is scheduled back at Ft Jackson which Tim and I will attend. Then it's time for graduation and the big move! It is all (finally) happening so fast. I can truly say that I have been able to let go of the things I am leaving behind here but the hard part is preparing my heart to leave the people who are so dear to me and my family. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

Tim is doing great; they are really going through alot of intense mental/emotional counseling training right now. I am praying that it doesn't just stick but it sinks in with Tim. I know that the state our country is in right now just carries over to our soldiers -- and they are hurting. Last year the Army saw its highest suicide rate in decades. I pray that the Lord will place Tim in spots where he can share the only true Hope with these men and women who would rather die than live.

As for our precious pups, I brought them (and Dylan) to Mom and Dad's to "live" for a while until we get a house and a fence. They are free to roam here and I know they will be fine until we can be together again. I will have to watch out; they may get spoiled!!