A day of fasting and praying

Today the Chaplain's at Fort Bragg (and possibly other posts) are Fasting and Praying for suicide prevention. Last year the army saw its highest suicide rate in 3 decades. Please pray that these men and women serving God in the military are able to reach the hurting where they are and keep precious lives from being lost outside of the warzones.

Trusting in God

The past 2 days my mind has been continually meditating on Psalm 91:1-2:
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust".

The Lord has been taking care of us in amazing ways, but this transition has been rough. The 3 of us are basically staying in a hotel room that has 2 double beds and a mini fridge, freezer, and microwave. There is one kitchen with a stove and sink for the whole building, and it is downstairs. Oh yeah, and no elevator...and I'm 19 weeks pregnant :) Now I know that's not exactly what some would call "suffering for Jesus" but it has been stressful trying to figure out how the 3 of us who have not been together much will now survive in a 300 sq ft space for 15 days. It is SO good that we can be together and I have missed our "family". But I am definitely longing for our house (should be ours by the 20th) and some space!
My mind has definitely been focused on our surroundings, and so this verse couldn't have been more timely for me. I am not dwelling in a small hotel room, but in the shelter of the Most High God. I am not sleeping on a double bed (with my husband and my growing, pregnant belly!); I am resting in the shadow of the Almighty. The hotel we are in is called the Leal Guest House. As I was showering yesterday morning, the spirit prompted me to look up the meaning of the word "leal". So after I showered and dressed, I looked up "leal" and found that it means "faithful, loyal, true". That's when I got goosebumps. The last part of this verse says that God is a refuge, a fortress, and someone we can TRUST! As random as this room assignment seemed to be, God used it to show me that I am in the Leal House, His house, His place of trust.
Sunday was a tough day. Reality hit and I had a hard time dealing with it all. I found myself not in a place of doubting what we were doing but feeling somewhat overwhelmed. Part of it was just the situation we are in and part of it I feel certain was Satan up to his never-ended scheme of making us take our eyes off of the author and finisher of our faith. There wasn't much we could do about our situation, but we could do something about the way this room looked! After a major overhaul, alot of organization, and a home cooked meal things were looking up! My motto has been and still is "One day at a time."
Dylan, who is 3, has been doing WONDERFULLY through it all. He has nothing but excitement for all that is going on and told me this morning "I like this cool place, Mom!" Wow, I wish my attitude could be that positive :) As he and I walked hand in hand today through the post hospital he randomly told me "Mom, you're so beautiful!" What did I do to deserve that? So flattering, and yet so humbling. God, help me to live in a way that is worthy of the blessings you have already bestowed on me.
Not wanting to leave out Tim, let me say what is going on with him. So far, it has just been paperwork, or what the military calls in-processing. Lots of information, little excitement. But Tim loves just being in this environment. He hopes to meet his battalion (the group of soldiers he'll be directly responsible for) on Thursday. If you are following our Journey, I pray it is a blessing to you as you. And please pray for us and the men and women of our military.

Transition so far...

Saturday, April 4th, 3pm

Since returning from the retreat at Kanuga, I have been in classes at Ft Jackson with other Chaplain’s spouses. The FRG (family readiness group) at Ft Jackson has begun providing a 3-day class designed to prepare the spouses of Chaplain’s for the world they are about to enter. The information we were provided was wonderful and necessary but overwhelming. It is a lot to take in. We basically went over in 3 days some of what took weeks for our spouse’s to cover in their classes. However, I now feel prepared…armed, if you will, for meeting the task that is to come.

Hearing the stories of the panel of wives during the seminar to me was priceless. Each one of their precious faces told me the same story, “You can do this. You can make it. It IS possible.” This will not be an easy life; it will not be a passive life. It will be what I, what we, make it to be. If we expect “great” and work toward it, that is what we will see. If we expect less, we will not be disappointed. One of the Chaplain instructors spoke to us the first morning of the seminar and he gave us a visual picture of what the majority of our ministry role will be. Exodus 17:8-13 says:

Then Amalek came and fought with Israel at Rephidim. So Moses said to Joshua, “Choose for us men, and go out and fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand.” So Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought with Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword. (ESV)

I treasure this analogy, because it reminds me of so many things. It reminds me that we are in 2 wars, physical (fighting terror) and spiritual (fighting Satan). Also, it reminds me that God has called my husband to this fight. It helps me remember that he WILL grow weary…just expect it. And when he does, put a stone under him, allow him to sit, and help hold up his hands. I know that is my duty and I pray that I am sensitive to those things and I perform them well.

To see Tim graduate from Chaplain Basic Officer Leadership Course (CH-BOLC) was almost a surreal thing. It was one of those moments in life that you anticipate for so long (longer than just these 3 months), and when it comes you think “I can’t believe it’s happening!” I don’t know when I’ve been more proud of him. As I write this, we are on our way to Ft Bragg to “settle in”. Although we won’t officially settle into our home until the 20^th of April, we are going to begin our life there today as we check into hotel-like accommodations. I know there is so much to do, with moving, unpacking and Tim beginning a new job. But my mind is easy and my heart is calm. I know that each step will be orchestrated by God and that his strength and grace will be given me to meet each challenge. My pregnant body has definitely had trouble keeping up with the fast pace of the past week and a half (make that 3 months!) but I am still standing, and this baby is still kicking!

My mind is mostly consumed with thoughts for Tim and what is about to commence in his life. Today we should meet one of his head Chaplains and Monday Tim should meet his Chaplain Assistant. This assistant is an 18-year old Private Second Class whose job is to help Tim carry out his tasks and to defend him whenever there is a need for it. You see, Chaplains are weaponless at all times, even war. I am praying already that this PV2 is a good aim and shot, and that his heart is in the Lord’s hand. If you are following our Journey, please pray for us over the next month. It may be a difficult time for us as we adjust and transition. For God and Country…

Together again

Our time of separation has finally ended as I arrived at Ft Jackson last Thursday evening. It was so good to be with my husband again -- to see him and talk with him. We got to share a neat surprise soon after my arrival. I brought with me the envelope which contained the gender of our child written down on paper. I had the ultrasound done earlier in the week but was sworn to secrecy by the Lieutenant until my arrival! So very "Army"!! By the way, IT'S A GIRL!! The picture in this post is of Kanuga, a retreat center in North Carolina. The day after I arrived, the Army bused all the Chaplains and as many of their wives as could come to this retreat. The best way to sum it up is that it is a retreat designed to show us how to put on a retreat. Part of the hardship of being in the military is the toll it can take on families. This program called "Strong Bonds" was developed by a Chaplain to be used to strengthen marriages and families as well as prepare single adults for married life. It has been a pleasure to be here for many reasons, the first of which is getting to be with Tim. The retreat setting has been nice, quite a change of scenery and pace for both of us (even with the excessive amounts of rainfall we've had!). Also, the material and information presented is real and practical. It is required that it be applicable to people of all faiths, so it is basically spiritually neutral. This has bothered me at times because God, Jesus, and the Bible are so instrumental in maintaining our families and marriages. Jesus is the basis for everything! But keeping in mind that all truth is God's truth has helped me to remember that no matter what psychologist "discovered" a theory, God created it! One other thing I wanted to blog about is my take on these Chaplains. The sheer number of guys (and a small number of women) is almost overwhelming. The morning we started out on this trip we all met at one location and all 100+ of them were lined up in formation. Talk about intimidating! They come from all different backgrounds, faiths, denominations, families, states (and countries), and personalities. Some of them are LOUD and some of them are introspective. Some are excited and eager and some are nervous and anxious. Some of them are on a "spiritual" path that isn't leading to heaven. But for the most part, they have one thing in common. As different as they are, they have all heard, felt, and answered two calls. One to serve their Lord and one to serve their country. The more time I have spent around them, the less intimidating and more personal they have become. They are pastors, youth ministers, men with a heart for ministry who have humbled themselves to be servants and submitted themselves to the grueling ways of the Army. The biggest things I feel for them are pride and gratitude. It is also my prayer that those who are sharing Christ with our nations soldiers will see fruit in their ministry as lives are changed for Him!

Finishing a tough leg of this journey

Our 12 week seperation is coming to a close. And I am so ready for it to be over. I want to be careful in how I say this because I don't want it to seem at all like I think God has abondoned us during this time. He hasn't. But all the same it has been tough. A reflection on the things that have happened during the past 10 weeks:

• 10 weeks of early pregnancy (blechhh! and zzzzzz)


• Turning 30 (woohoo!)


• Dealing with nausea


• Getting an offer on our house


• Counter-offering


• Getting an acceptance on a counter-offer


• Having a buyer try to back out


• Having a buyer change her mind on backing out


• Dealing with nausea


• SELLING A HOUSE!!


• Valentine's Day


• A violent stomach bug that won me an ER trip


• Making repairs on said house


• Packing, packing, packing...


• Moving


• Dealing with nausea


• Dylan's 3rd birthday


• Tim's birthday


• Dealing with 2 very unhappy but loved dogs


• Maintaining a paying job :)


• Trying to keep stability in place for Dylan


• Managing military movers moving our "stuff" from storage to storage


• Preparing for life at a new PCS (permanent change of station, for you civilians)


• Several trips to AL and SC

And that's just what I can remember at 11pm at night!! Whew. It makes me tired just looking at the list. But the awesome thing is that God met every need at every turn. Some days I felt like a conqueror, and others I felt like I had been granted just enough grace for that moment. Surely, Lord, You were my shield, protecting me from harm and destruction. Truly, Lord, You were my strength when I was weary from the pregnancy or just the chaos. Defintely, God, You were our portion to provide what we needed day-to-day. Undoubtedly, You were my deliverer who brought me through it all.

The Lord was faithful to instill a vivid memory in Dylan of his father and a longing to be with him again. Thanks to the technology of cell phones and web cams, we have stayed in touch more than I ever dreamed. One thing I know is true: you can't outgive (or out-serve God). It seems like the more we give of ourselves to Him, the more He heaps out on us. I am eagerly anticipating what God will do as we begin life at Ft Bragg...we WILL resist all attempts to become Tarheel fans!!! Go Bama!

I feel somewhat selfish for talking about all that I've been through without mentioning that which Tim has endured. However, he reminds me that I am fighting a battle of my own...on the homefront. One that is no less important than his; just different. Soldiers are only as strong as the families that support them. My prayer is that in blogging my experiences others might come to realize that they too can do this...that anyone can give their all, their life, to God and watch Him trace their journey. As the song says "Jesus commands my destiny". For God and Country...

And the blessings continue...

This week we found out that we should have the keys to our new house (okay, well, duplex) on or before April 20th. Alot sooner than we expected!! The movers are coming next week to transport or worldly goods to Ft Bragg. Yay! And I leave in 2 weeks to attend a Chaplains & spouses retreat with Tim in North Carolina. Double yay!! After that a 3 day training seminar is scheduled back at Ft Jackson which Tim and I will attend. Then it's time for graduation and the big move! It is all (finally) happening so fast. I can truly say that I have been able to let go of the things I am leaving behind here but the hard part is preparing my heart to leave the people who are so dear to me and my family. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

Tim is doing great; they are really going through alot of intense mental/emotional counseling training right now. I am praying that it doesn't just stick but it sinks in with Tim. I know that the state our country is in right now just carries over to our soldiers -- and they are hurting. Last year the Army saw its highest suicide rate in decades. I pray that the Lord will place Tim in spots where he can share the only true Hope with these men and women who would rather die than live.

As for our precious pups, I brought them (and Dylan) to Mom and Dad's to "live" for a while until we get a house and a fence. They are free to roam here and I know they will be fine until we can be together again. I will have to watch out; they may get spoiled!!

The latest on us and a great picture

In a recent trip to Ft Bragg, we looked at the housing that was available on post. After prayer and discussion, we decided that we would choose to stay on post so we can get acclimated and so we can afford for me to stay at home. Staying on post means all expenses (except phone, internet and cable/satellite) are paid for by the Army. The housing was actually fairly nice and the neighborhoods were very family friendly. It won't be anything like the house we just moved out of but we did not go into the military to get rich and live in fancy housing. We are here to serve and the Lord will accomodate us along the way as he sees fit.

We completed the paperwork to be placed on the waiting list and found out that we are 15th out of 38...which is better than 38 out of 38!! So all we lack is 15 people to move out of our neighborhood in the next month and we will be good to move in!! :)

While reading the blog of a chaplain's wife friend of mine, I came across a thought that I'd like to post here, giving credit of course to her as the author (thanks Laura!):

"This journey is not about me. It's not about my husband or our children. It's about God Almighty being glorified! "

That is something that in one form or another I remind myself of each and every day. Without this reminder, the days become too long, the wait is too hard, and the struggles are not worth it.

Thought this was a great picture of Chaplain.