The twilight zone
There is this point between fully awake, squirming, reaching for all things reachable and zonked, passed out, eyes-slammed-shut sleep where a transient state comes over a baby on his or her way to bed. The last two nights I have found that place with my baby girl, and it is SOOO sweet. Lying in my arms she is looking up at me, square in the eyes, and I am doing the same to her. At times it seems like she is almost looking through me as she teeters on the edge of blessed slumber. I wish I could know what she is thinking. What thoughts go through her young but vibrant mind? Is she noticing the color of my eyes, the shape of my face, or the crookedness of my teeth? Or, during this twilight time, can she see the shape and form of the heavenly beings that I have prayed would come and surround her crib as she sleeps? Does she watch them with delight as they decend with their cheerful faces to be her companion on their nightwatch? Or does her face display the contentment and security she feels down deep inside? Whichever it is, I treasure those moments before her lids fall and she begins her rhythmical breath. To me, it is a confirmation of the mutual love that mother and child have -- a bond known since Eve and Cain.
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