When trust is a must

We’re getting ready to sign a lease on an apartment.  I realize that to some that might seem like an amazingly exciting thing.  And at previous points in my life I would have agreed with elated anticipation.  But deciding on this apartment has felt like deciding between something I don’t want and something else I don’t want.  

Backstory: I’m preparing for the 14th move in my life.  I am almost 40, but still - that’s a lot of moving around!  This move has a deeper sting to it and I feel myself growing even more resistant to its coming.  It is a product of the circumstances that result from poor choices plus the challenge of a major life transition, all rolled up and tied with the bow of unemployment.  Sounds less than desirable, eh?  

But even in the midst of this chaos and disappointment, I am being reminded and shown how the steadfast love of the Lord endures.  His mercies remain new each morning.  I am still being fed manna and quail daily by my heavenly Father.  And I feel much like the Israelites must have when they wandered in what probably seemed like an aimless pattern for what must have seemed like an endless period of time.  

I can’t see the future more than a half-step in front of me, but I know who is planning the longer path ahead. And I know ultimately where the path will take me at my journey’s end.  He then is all my hope and stay - and I can trust him now.  

At the moment, He is giving us shelter, warmth and cool, running water, and privacy in the form of a 3 bedroom apartment.  I can’t establish the garden my green thumb is longing for, but He is tending to the tender soil of my heart.  There is a quiet wooded space behind our unit - perfect for hanging a hammock - along with a view of a wooded mountain close by.  And our children are giddy over the beautiful pool a stone’s throw away.  

God knows me and made me inside and out.  My frame (how I am made up from the inside) has not been hidden from him. He knows how my heart longs for a beautiful home I can nest and design and make my very own as we love and raise our family within its walls.  He has been there for each of the long days and lonely nights we’ve lived the nomadic life of a military family and he’s familiar with my longings for a forever home - a space that I don’t have to leave behind in a couple of years when duty calls.  He sees my displeasure at the thought of another transition - yet another place to try to see if I can make one of the curtains from my extensive collection do the trick yet again.  

But he also knows what’s coming.  He can see around that next bend (and the next one and so on), and so He knows what I need today and tomorrow.  Each day it seems I find myself working through a new or different emotion - not knowing whether I should push, pull, run, sit, jump, or scream.  I know this to be normal as I work on accepting what is (my reality) and at the same time acknowledging what’s happened (my past). 

A constant for me through the daily onslaught of emotions is this: I MUST TRUST GOD.  I must.  In quietness and trust is my strength.¹  That’s not to say I don’t have a lot TO say.  Boy, do I.  Probably too much, if you ask those closest to me.  But My strength isn’t found in those many words.  

In quietness and trust is my strength.

My strength is found in the soul-stilling quietness that the Shepherd of Psalm 23 affords me. It’s the confidence that being the daughter of a proven Victor brings.  It’s in the unfailing love of the Lord, parceled out to me each day in small and sizable ways.  

In the community of believers we chose to worship amongst today we were challenged by the worship leader to “Ponder anew what the Almighty can do.”  And my soul responded with both “Amen” and “Hallelujah”.  

For us, there are no other hedges around our bets, no other back-up plans, no contingency strategies to fall on.  We are solely and completely dependent upon the gracious right hand of the Lord.  

I can honestly say: The Lord is the Refuge and Stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?²  

Thank goodness: Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”³

¹Isaiah 30:15

²Psalm 27:1

³Psalm 91:1-2

Guest post!

WHAT TO DO ON A RAINY DAY BY JNR

I do not like it when it rains but I still have things to do.  When it rains I like to do video games.  Video games help  your hand muscles get more muscular. Video games are fun.  I like doing  video games with other people.

Another thing I  do on a rainy day is read.  Reading is enjoyable.  Reading is educational. Reading is exciting.

The other thing I do on a rainy day is rest. Rest is good for your body. Rest can help you destress.  Rest is my favorite thing to do on a rainy day.   Thank you for hearing what I do on a rainy day.

Abraham Lincoln

Digi-city

Leave no stone unturned

I’m in a desert season.  You know the kind where all around you feels dry, dusty, parched. It’s desolate - a wasteland for miles.  The sun overhead is insufferable.  The only water for miles is that of the salty tears that frequently flow downward from dry and weary eyes.  Legs ache.  Hearts ache even more.  Hope set long ago at dusk and hasn’t risen since.  Dreams lay broken in a million parts like the sand.  I long for God but all I can see around me looks Godforsaken.  The road ahead is blurry as heat waves rise from the ground before me.  My compass of promises in His Word are all I cling to, straining to make sense, to make headway.

I’m searching for Him, all around. I can’t afford to go through life looking for billboards and banners that blast brilliantly of Him.  No. I’ve taken to turning over every rock, searching for Him. Desperate for Him to show up.  Looking high and low. Although mostly low. Searching in insignificant places and unlikely spaces.  I want to find Him.  I need to find Him. He shows up when we need Him most, right?  In our broken-heartedness? Scaffolding up crushed spirits?

Tonight I found Him. Or rather I heard Him. In the midst of the mundane muscling of laundry into loaded drawers, I heard a sound carried on the wind.  Melodious music whose rhythmic cadence and familiar tune lilted into my ears. It took a moment for my mind to pause, to really hear.  But at last when I’d taken time for the tune - back hunching over, ear pressing into the cool window screen, mind turning over this unlikely stone - my heart opened up to what my ears were hearing.  The language was unfamiliar but I knew the tune by heart.  “What can wash away my sin?  Nothing but the blood of Jesus.”  This song for me is a soul song - one of those hymns which the Holy Spirit has so impressed upon my soul, using it at pivotal and paramount times to speak peace, comfort, and grace to me.  It’s a song that no matter how much air time it gets, moves me to lift hands and voice to Him in praise.

Neighbors on the street behind must have been holding a study or service of some kind in their home, and “nothing but the blood” would do.  As their foreign tongues belted out all the verses of this beloved hymn, my heart and mind sang with them.  This blood that cleanses all my sins, that makes me whole again, that is all my hope and peace, that is all my righteousness - is not only personal but powerful. This blood has spoken into every tongue of its wonder-working power. I am not the only one rejoicing, searching, clinging.  This blood is beloved the world over and its praises sung in all the four corners.  There is no other fount we know. Let it’s praises ring eternal, carried on the evening backyard air.

Interesting Zoo Animals

Interesting Zoo Animals 

by Jordan R.

Some interesting zoo animals are tigers and wolves.  Here are some facts about wolves.  Wolf pups are born with their eyes shut. Breeding season is February to March and female wolves are pregnant for sixty-three days!  Wolves have forty-two teeth.

Speaking of teeth, let’s move on to tigers.  Here are some facts about tigers.  A tiger’s tail is 1 meter long.  Tigers have been known to eat up to twenty-seven kilograms of meat in one night! Tigers weigh up to six hundred pounds. Thanks for going on the safari with me! 

My favorite color

This is an essay by our daughter, the cat lover.

My Favorite color

By Jordan

     I have one favorite color.  My favorite color is turquoise.  It remind me of PWOC.  My mom is a member of PWOC. Turquoise represents the presence of God.  Also, turquoise is the color of my grandma's phone case. I love her very much.  Turquoise is a cool color. That's why I like it. It's very peaceful like the sky.