Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

Ekklesia

Social Media Sabbatical…continued

I’ve persevered in my social media sabbatical for over 4 weeks now.  I’m still loving the freedom of it and not being a part of that realm for now.  But I recently had a situation come up that caused me to think a little deeper about this form of “community”.  In the midst of a (rather serious) illness, a friend utilized social media as her outlet for informing her “community” that she was ill and in need of prayer.  In good Christian response, several believers who saw this responded with prayers and offerings of help. My friend also reached out to me personally via text (which I was grateful for).  But it caused me to think about all the times I’ve seen people (including myself) use FB to communicate to others regarding my trials, tribulations, and sufferings.  Personally, I’ve often had many people respond with prayer and promises of aid, for which I’ve been immensely thankful.  It seems that in this digital age and culture, this has become the “norm”.  So how do I, as a Christ-following believer who longs to share His love with the world, stay in touch and relevant to the world around me - with or without social media?  

It is understandable that people utilize social media to spread their news and needs.  That is one of it’s beautiful benefits. It gets a word out quickly and efficiently, like casting a wide net.  But is it the only means of sharing?  In general, do people in our society only utilize social media (and it alone?) for communicating needs?  Is it because of the wideness of its net and the quickness of its response?  Is this what God intended for our lives?  Is this Biblical?  Is this us living in reliance upon His provision and His timing?  Is it also, in some part, due to its no-strings-attached nature with no demands and requirements.  I’m not sure of the answers to all these, but I do have a few thoughts.  

The New Testament model for loving on and caring for believers is within the auspices of the church (ekklesia in the Greek).  Fellow believers in Christ who joined with a local body of believers pledged to give of themselves and their possessions in order to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those people.  Yes, we are to love and serve the world at large.  But we are called to a higher level of service to those with whom we worship.  We are accountable to them, and they to us.  The same cannot be said of the entire world.  In light of this, when they are sick we are entreated to care for them.  When they are without, we offer provisions.  And we receive the same in return when we stand in a place of need.  

So how does social media play into all this?  Not all the Christ-followers in my FB friend list are a part of my “ekklesia”.  Some are, but most are scattered throughout the globe or are a part of another ekklesia.  I’m not saying that believers from different congregations cannot or should not help one another out.  But to whom should I go when I have a need?  Who is responsible for helping me when I need it?  Who has the Lord appointed and provided?  Whoever can type back the quickest?  Whoever is trolling social media at the time? (Since I’m in a FB sabbatical season, I’m currently not privy to anyone’s digital pleas for help.)  I surmise that it is much easier to "exist" in a profile on social media than it is to be an active member serving in a local church, no doubt.  Is it the desire to be free of the entanglements of unlikeable people, loud preachers, music that's not our style, and services that start too early (or too late)?  Maybe.  However at its foundation, Christianity is not a call to a life of ease with no strings, demands or requirements. 

I believe the truest answer to how we should show the love of Christ to those around us and experience the community we were created for is the ekklesia with which we are enmeshed.  The people we sing next to each week. Those we frequently sit in a room with and soak in the truths pouring from the pulpit.  Those we’ve pledged to help raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And those who’ve pledged to help us do the same.  Those we’ve witnessed make wedding vows.  And those with whom we’ve combed through Scripture side by side. Those we’ve rejoiced with as they took steps of faith.  Those who've lovingly held us accountable when we’ve strayed in the past.  The beauty of the church, local and tangible.   When I’ve done life with you and walked side by side with you through seasons of joy and heartache, I want to help you when that little baby is sick and fevered.  I long to bring you a meal when your wife is recovering from surgery.  We’re happy  to mow your grass while your husband is traveling.  Even if we aren’t the fastest at typing a response :-) While relying on Social Media members for help instead of an ekklesia may be easier in some temporal regard, there is much to be missed outside of the community of a local church - including regular worship (as taught by Christ and the New Testament), mission trips (or even missionary commissioning!), doctrinal training, small group Bible studies, a safe harbor, an opportunity to put hands to the plow for the advancement of God's Kingdom, and so, SO much more.

It’s kind of similar to the way neighborhoods work.  When you have a neighborly need, you don’t normally call a friend who lives 2 hours away to ask if you can borrow a cup of sugar.  Local and tangible, remember? God knew we needed this in His design for our lives.
So what’s a happy medium?  Where’s the balanced view?  Perhaps a church who uses social media to communicate with its members.  Instead of a phone tree or email distro list, members post and respond to needs on a monitored posting site (with some level of accountability to help sort out people who aren’t actually attending, serving, or growing and offer them help instead as a new believer or seeker). Perhaps making sure that individually we are reaching as far into our ekklesia as we are into the digital community when we stand in need.   And that we are reaching out to those in our ekkelsia to be the hands and feet of Jesus, seeing to it that their needs are met and not expecting the digital community alone to do the work that Christ called (and established the church) to do.


A kingdom perspective

We homeschool.  Have I ever mentioned that? Yes?  Well, today was a typical Tuesday in our house. With school out of the way early in the day we were free to run errands in the afternoon.  And it was on the way home from those errands that something wonderful happened - a small miracle.


In recent weeks it has been my personal and public prayer for God to help me and our family stay mindful of His kingdom...the work He is faithfully doing in our hearts and in our land.  In fact this morning I had spent some precious moments with the Lord, in His presence, reading His word and asking Him again to help me be mindful.  My heart was in tune and my mind was alert.


But as we came to a stop at the red light just outside our gate, I felt the question rise in me again.  One of those questions I face almost daily.  Another homeless person? Everyday?  Always at least one standing outside our post gates...asking, begging for money, for mercy, for help.  It has become easy to grow calloused to them, for they are always there. And who knows if they are really homeless? - or scandals instead.  I have reasoned with myself that if I gave money to every one of them everyday, well, you know...


Today, though, my son didn't see him right away.  I had already noticed the man, unshaven, unkempt, with his sign held out for all to read.  I had already reasoned with my heart and conscience.  But as the light turned green and we rolled on, my little man caught sight of him.  And as a second grader, my boy can now read.  He read the man's position and his plea: "Homeless. Please help."  What came from his mouth was both poignant and pleading. "Mom, we should have given him some money."  I thought for a brief moment.  What should I say? Lord, don't let me sound jaded or closed off.  Help me show tenderness and grace. I responded, "Did you bring any of your money?" "No," he replied. "Next time, if you give him one of your dollars I'll pay you back when we get home." 


Now, to appreciate this it is helpful to understand the child who spoke those words.  He is a saver and a bit of a tightwad - unless it's someone else's money. :-) He can save for weeks on end in order to buy a certain toy he wants.  He's unwavering and doesn't allow temptations to throw him off his savings plan.  Who can blame him? - he works hard for his money.  But today, he was moved with compassion at the sight of a man asking for help.


It would have been easy to have said, "Okay, honey.  Next time that happens, I'll give him a dollar and you can pay me back."  But my heart has been set on looking for God's kingdom work - in the here and now.  "Next time" may be too late.  So I said to my son, "Do you want me to turn around? I have a dollar in my wallet." His reply made my heart smile, "Yes, Mom.  I prayed for wisdom this morning and I think God would want me to do this."  Not wanting to be outdone, I pulled out two dollars - one to match his. 


I'd been praying for eyes to see the kingdom at work, for opportunities where God would have me do His kingdom work.  And just outside the gates of this "kingdom" in which I live, I found an answer - a reply from the King.


We circled back around and exited the gate we'd just entered.  "Hand them to me, Mom, and roll down my window please.  I'll give them to him."  And so he did.  As the man approached the back window, he looked my son straight in the eyes and said, "Thank you.  May you be richly and abundantly blessed, young man." I couldn't have said it better myself.  A sweet conversation followed that teaching moment as we talked together of Solomon asking for wisdom, of passages from James, and of teachings from Jesus about the greater blessing being in the giving, rather than the receiving. 


And once again, the greatest lesson in our homeschool day came not from a textbook, but from Yahweh. :-)

And in conclusion…


A year has passed. I cannot fathom how a year has gone by so quickly and yet there have been times where it seemed like "a day was as a thousand years." I can remember this time last year wondering to myself if there was a doctor out there who could just put me in a coma for a year and wake me when this was all over. What a mistake that would have been…to have missed out on all that God had for me and would do to and through me. To have missed out on the good AND the bad. In my heart and my mind I have been trying to say "goodbye" to this season in my life; to boil it down to a few nuggets I can take away and share with others. It is hard to simplify such an arduous process. Spend any time around Army wives and you will quickly learn that they define themselves and their families in terms of deployments. This is a byproduct of war that I am still not sure that I'm okay with. I am a firm believer that it's not what life throws at you but what you make of it that really counts. So to define myself in terms of whether my husband is home or gone seems like I am letting life's punches call the shots instead of taking my life by the horns, no matter my husband's current continent.


There have been many moments that I thought I was teetering near the brink of insanity. Usually this was due to something my beautiful and precious childrens were bringing to the equation at the time. For those who have read my previous posts, I'll not take you to that crazy place again. Suffice it to say that God undoubtedly knew that was a path I needed to go down in order to better sharpen and hone certain facets of my character. What I feel now is stronger. Stronger physically, stronger mentally, stronger emotionally. Running and yoga have been my "outlets" this past year. They allowed me to free my mind and free my body as well. As Eric Little said, I definitely felt the Lord's pleasure as I pounded out many a mile while listening to worship music or rattling off my thoughts to Him. Mentally I am stronger because I have been under constant stress and pressure and have had no choice but to deal with it. There was no "out", no other adult in the house with me. It was up to me and God to work it out and see it through. Problems that would have once made me throw my hands up and walk away required that I stay and deal with them. I was remarking on this recently as I found myself easily finagling a series of events that at the beginning of this deployment would have tripped me up and ruined my attitude for the day.


I mentioned an emotional strengthening as well. When it came to emotions, my husband was that rock solid wall that I could run to with any emotion I was feeling and could spatter it out against his strength knowing he could take it and it would not topple him. In his absence, I have had to turn more often to the Lord first rather than him (I usually found myself at His throne eventually but sometimes my first place to go was hubby). I have also had to work through some tough emotions on my own without his listening ear and guidance. I wish that I could say that I burdened my husband very little with the cares and worries of home while he was away, but I fear they were brought to his attention more times than I would probably care to remember. He lovingly told me each time that he didn't mind listening to me and cared about each concern I was having. He would even venture to offer wisdom and suggestions. But it was up to me to do the hard task of steadying myself and wading through the emotional waters I encountered. I am proud of the job I have done this year. Not proud in an idolatrous way. It's more that I am satisfied with the job I have done this year. I know the time is soon coming when I will be able to take a deep breath, "rest", and look back on this and be pleased.


My husband and I joke with each other that things were going well in our marriage until we separated for a year. In all seriousness, another conclusion I (we) have come to is the irony that our marriage has never grown so much in the past 11 years as it did this year we were apart. It forced us to grow, to adapt, to look for new ways of keeping our love alive. To focus on the things we love and miss about each other. We were deprived of the physical pleasures of marriage which made us seek to speak the other's love language even more. My husband loved on me diligently with "words of affirmation", which I deeply crave. My challenge was to find different ways to love him through physical touch (his #1 love language) which I did through care packages and "touching" him each day through e-mail communication. The #2 love language for both of us is quality time, so a phone call every day met both of our needs. We have now put down roots on different and deeper levels and I look forward to seeing the health and life that will bring to our relationship once we are back under the same roof.


I recently read an article on "Independence in Marriage". The gist of it was that a woman can be strong and independent and still submit in a godly way to her husband. The article's title got me thinking on the independence in our marriage. What the Army has taken our marriage through is a messed-up myriad of weirdness. Two people, deeply in love, forced to live apart, living independent lives full of difficult choices they must bear, yet at their very core they are inseparable by a covenant made before God and man. Good thing that our God is sovereign, hmmm?

Looking ahead and behind

I'm posting a few pics today of our life here. My beloved gave me a new camera (just because :) and I'm still getting used to using it. I'm also still getting used to actually having to take a card out of the camera, pop it into the computer, wait for it to load, edit the picture, and then upload it. Yes, I am an iPhone user and boy, do they spoil us! But I digress...




TOTALLY staged!




The REAL D :)


The future:Today I took our son to get his kindergarten vaccines, a rite of passage of sorts. I can hardly believe that I am sending the baby boy that I just gave birth to last week to KINDERGARTEN! I understand that most moms make a big deal out of this whole "starting school" deal, doing things such as taking bookoodles of pictures the morning of their first day and shedding tears all the way to their classroom and all the way back home. Not me. I'm starting 3 months early. Moms, let the pitiful whining begin!


The past:And as for the Army? They have had my beloved for 290 of their 365 days…not that anyone's counting {whistle, whistle…} I'm not usually one to complain, but…Okay, wait. Let me rephrase that. I'm not usually one to complain OUTSIDE OF MY HEAD. The Lord is mighty to save in many ways, including saving me from letting many of the negative thoughts I frequently chase around up there slip out of my mouth! I have tried to be positive and focus on the good during this past year. But in order to be transparent and real, I'd like to state for the record that doing this thing that so many military wives are called to do is HARD. There, I said it. Lest you be deceived by my humor and normally cheery disposition, I am letting it be known that the days of doing life alone are hard, and the nights alone are even harder. But that is not the bad news. No, that is what's good. How, you might ask? I challenge you to find one book or story from the Bible, one character from within its pages that tells of anything but God working wonders during, in spite of, and through all kinds of adversity, trials, and suffering. He is TRULY working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.



It's all about perspective

Our family? We are missionaries, even if nontraditionally . We moved a couple of years ago to a place where the need for ministry was greatest and where God saw fit to place our family. We quickly settled in, getting to know the people and the culture surrounding us. About the time our ministry was in full-swing, God called us to another level of ministry. It was a place that was so dangerous that only my husband was permitted to go. It was inadvisable for family to go and we were forbidden to accompany him. So we stayed behind while he ventured out into dangerous territory...all for the sake of advancing the gospel amongst these people we had been called to share Christ's love with. The kids and I continued the work at our mission field while my husband made strides on his. The separation was long and hard but finally when the work he set out to do had been completed, my husband came home and we were once again reunited as a family. It was through the separation and constant threat of danger that God used us to advance His Kingdom on the mission field He'd called us to.

This is our story as a Chaplain family in the U.S. Army. But it could be any military family's story who has committed to our country's defense and accepted God's leading in their lives. Surprised? You shouldn't be. Its all about perspective. As my favorite Chaplain likes to preach, you don't have to be a preacher to minister! God has called each of us to a specific purpose and has gifted us with certain talents. He desires us to use them for His Kingdom - even if that means you're a helicopter mechanic or a medic...or a Mom! You can further the cause of Christ by being the best at what He's called you to AND spreading the message of Jesus along your way -- which for the military can be some pretty unique and far-off places! And as for us? We're still waiting for that beautiful reunion...which is coming up fast! :)

A Mother’s Hope


Today the world is buzzing with words of thanks and appreciation for Mothers and all they do for us. I have been enjoying my very own Mothers Day with my chillins, although my breakfast-in-bed chef is away defending our country. *Proud Sigh* My son did bring me home a dee-licious muffin which I enjoyed for breakfast this morning. And my sweet li'l girl has been extra sweet. While reading through the book of Judges today I came upon a section of verses that gripped my attention and burdened my heart as a mother.


After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the LORD nor what he had done for Israel. Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD and served the Baals. They forsook the LORD, the God of their ancestors, who had brought them out of Egypt. They followed and worshiped various gods of the peoples around them. They aroused the LORD's anger. –Judges 2:10-12


My heart cries out, "How?" How could the children of the very people who had been brought out of Egypt by God Himself fail to pass that legacy on to their children? They neither knew God nor what he had done for them! God, may it not be said of me that my very children could grow up and neither know you nor even know of the things you have done for them!!


God sent his people into Canaan not to make ties but to break down alters and false idols. What did they do? They only partially obeyed – which is disobedience! Instead of proclaiming God as LORD, abolishing all other gods, and establishing their faith for all to see including generations to come, they became lackadaisical and complacent. They let it slide with the second generation. And that second generation became as it were camouflage in the land.


Father, help me lead my children not to blend in but to stand out as warriors and royalty. May they never make ties with this world but covenants with You. May they daily hear from my lips praises for our deliverer. And may they one day tell of their God to the next generation.

Jesus – from Old Testament to New


I have mentioned before on this blog how I am amazed when God reveals something new and fresh to me in the stories in His Word no matter how many times I have read them before. I can count on Him every Christmas, Easter, etc. to bring to my mouth a fresh and fascinating morsel for me to savor. Thank you, Father, that Your Word never becomes stale or stagnant. It is the living, breathing, Word of God!



This Easter I have been listening to a sermon series from our pastor Bro. Brent Summerhill in Cabot, AR. As usual, all of it has been wonderful and has ministered to my heart. One of the things I so enjoy about Bro. Brent is his ability to tell a story and the way he will bring in history and background into a verse/passage to make it more real and relevant. In his sermon "Betrayed", Bro. B brought to light for me SO many wonderful truths that I just have to share a couple of them.



Picture the night of Jesus' betrayal in the garden of Gethsemane at the hands of Judas. Prior to their arrival, Jesus and His disciples (as recorded by John) crossed over the Brook Kidron to get to the garden. It is the dark of night and these men are crossing this body of water in the valley east of Jerusalem. There is striking symbolism here that I have never taken note of before. It is this same Brook Kidron that 2 Samuel tells us David waded across as he fled from his traitor-son Absalom and the capital city. Jesus, too was dealing with a traitor; but God's son "went forward" (Jn 18:4) to face His traitor. Some theologians believe it was while journeying through that same valley and across that same brook that David wrote the beloved 23rd Psalm. Jesus, too, was walking through the valley of the shadow of death. For that night He would give himself over to be crucified.



After spending much time praying and talking with His disciples, Jesus goes forward to face the accusers who have come to the garden to besiege Him. He starts the conversation by asking who they're looking for (as if He didn't know!). Their reply was "Jesus of Nazareth". Do not miss the significance of what He says next. He doesn't raise His hand and say, "That's me" or "I'm Jesus". No. He chooses to state the very phrase that was spoken from the burning bush to Moses...the very phrase that nearly had Him stoned by the Pharisees and Saducees...He says "I AM" (the he in italics that is added is not there in the original manuscripts). That is NOT the equivalent of Him saying "I am Jesus". Again, no. He is unmistakably equating Himself with YHWH. Can you imagine what was fulfilled in that statement? Thousands of years of prophecy along with the hope of all mankind. The power contained in Jesus' words was enough to knock Judas and all those with him down on their backsides. To me, the significance of this is right up there with the time that Jesus stood in the temple for His first Scripture reading. What did He choose? Isaiah, of course. "...the Lord has anointed Me to bring good news to the poor..." Oh to have been there for both of those occasions! To have heard the Savior fulfill the Scriptures and declare His place in the trinity and at God's right hand! Yet what do Judas, the guards, and the temple priests do? They rise again, not in belief of who He is, but to continue in their unbelief and carry out their arrest. Jesus is unfazed by all of this and asks them once again who they are looking for. Still, they do not see. Still, they do not believe. Not even when face to face with Him. Not even after having heard His words and been affected by His power do they believe. It is no wonder we see so many around us who, inspite of up-close encounters with God, still choose to turn away from Him.



I am challenged this Easter to look at Jesus in light of His connections to the old covenant. The story of Easter is one with roots deep into the Old Testament. From Moses to David, Jesus reveals to us the master-plan of His Father. A plan that would cost Him His life, but give us back ours.

Savoring the season

It is the start of the fall season. The air is crisp and clean. Gone is the swelter of summer; here, for a while, is the air which feels neutral on the skin. This weather is what I imagine it like in heaven -- simple, clear, non-distracting. I love watching the seasons change. While I know God does NOT change, the way He cares for us and reaches out to us changes like seasons throughout the course of our life -- as we grow and mature. To me it seems that God likes variety, creativity, and fresh starts. Each and every winter somehow feels familiar yet new. Only a loving Creator like ours can accomplish this four times a year, each year. As I write this I am sitting in the comfort of the swing in my parent's backyard. The air is light, the breeze gentle, the sounds delightful -- birds in the trees singing their praises, squirrels in the branches busy preparing for winter, the soft rustling of leaves overhead, the faint ringing of the wind chimes. Occasionally the wind gusts for a brief moment, and with it comes the most heavenly smell of flowers. Such a sweet, fresh, beautiful scent. Unmistakably God. Unmistakably YAHWEH BOREY (LORD creator).

7 weeks down...

Whoa...I blinked and 7 weeks of this deployment passed me by. Life has been hectic & crazy at times, so blogging has not been on my radar screen. Changing diapers, disciplining kids, maintaining my outlets of ministry, and personal Bible Study have been lighting up my radar screen. Yes, Bible Study. It is a committment that I made to the Lord during this deployment -- to faithfully study His Word and present all my cares to Him in prayer. It has been a life line to my soul. However, this has meant letting alot of other "things" go that I would like to be doing...like blogging. But, I believe in the end God will bless my efforts as I see the fruit that His Word brings about in my life. On the husband-front, Chaplain is doing well. He always sound so positive and upbeat, despite what I know is going on over there (all the yucky, unpleasant stuff of war). He told me the other day that except for missing me and the kids, he is loving it over there...mostly because, he said, "I feel like I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be doing exactly what he created me to do." Wow, talk about comfort for me! Thank you, God, for this. Today, I was doing mundane task #541 of the day...which happened to be surface-wiping in my kitchen...and I came to my trash can, which looked totally GROSS on the outside. There were drip stains, coffee grounds, kid drool, and general food stains on it. While I know it is a TRASH can, I still didn't think it should look nasty on the outside, so I began to wipe it down. That's when the still small voice of the Holy Spirit spoke directly to my soul. I heard him say, "Jennifer, this is how so many people live their lives." The verses "There is no one righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10)..." and "All our righteous acts are as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6)..." came rushing to mind. God reminded me that all of us are trash heaps on the inside, stinking and dirty from within. And yet look at how much time and effort we put into cleaning the outside of our trash cans! No matter how glamorous the outside of our can looks, there will never be righteousness inside...apart from Christ. The rubbish and stench will still be there, even if the outside gets wiped down with disinfectant. What needs fixing is within, a matter of the heart. Let Christ transform you from the inside out, by imparting His righteousness to you through His death and resurrection. Even as born-again believers, we can sometimes allow the trash to sneak back in as unconfessed sin lingers like a “fishy” odor in our lives. Jesus spoke strongly against the hypocrisy of a beautiful outside but ugly inside when he was talking to the religious leaders in Matthew 23:27-28. He said to them “You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness”. I love the vivid imagery Jesus uses with the phrase “whitewashed tombs”. A little research on this revealed that tombs were whitewashed in order to make them more visible. This kept the Jews from stepping on or stumbling over them as the journeyed. Truly, this was an act done by the pharisees to get noticed. When we find ourselves looking like a whitewashed tomb, we need to humble ourselves and seek His forgiveness…asking Him to once again clean us up on the inside and fill us up instead with Him. Then, what is of value in us won't be dependent upon how we look or perform, but upon the perfect salvation given as a gift from the Father. One look at us and God will have to do a double take to see if that was us He saw or Christ! So, don't worry about the can, let's take out the trash!!

A marathon, not a sprint

My life as a happily married single Mom has begun. We are now located in our new abode and ALMOST all the boxes are unpacked. All except for a few in Chaplain's study/our guest room. And, no offense baby, but they are not a pressing matter. Rest assured that they will get unpacked long before your R&R. The move was not as tough as the last one, but somewhere in the midst of it all I remembered that I was 6 months pregnant for our last one. That made a HUGE difference in my energy level. My mom was so gracious to come and stay for nearly 2 weeks as we packed up, moved over, and unpacked. The kids and I are really enjoying this new home; the extra space is wonderful! My son can turn cartwheels and do flips and I do not have to fuss for fear of him running into something or things getting knocked over. I am trying to figure out what our new day-to-day routine will be in this new house. It is taking some getting used to having a second story. I have to stop and think, "Okay, I'm going downstairs now...what do I need to take with me first. Hmmm." But what a blessing!!! The kids and I both are still adjusting to life without Daddy. The immediate severe pain of separation was fortunately short-lived thanks, I belive, to faithful prayer warriors and the power of God. We have had SO many people in our lives praying, sending cards, giving encouraging words that it has unbelievably overwhelmed me. Praise God for people with a heart for loving on military families! Tim is doing well; surviving the unbearable heat over there and building up relationships with his comrades. He always sounds so positive when we talk on the phone and seems to feel very comfortable that he is exactly where the Lord created him to be. That in and of itself is SO comforting. The Lord is ministering to me on a continual basis each day, staying close to me through thoughts and silent whisperings in my ear. He is speaking to me through His word and prayer is constantly on my lips. I was thinking recently about what kind of wife/mother I want to be...I don't mean just for today, but the legacy I want to leave. Especially with this (and possibly other?) deployments in our future, my kids are going to be spending ALOT of time with just me and my husband will be going through times of just knowing me from afar. So, how can I impact their lives in the biggest way? Of course, one of the first Biblical thoughts that came to mind was the Proverbs 31 woman. Upon reading this famous passage again, it became clearly to me that she could very well be the wife of a deployed soldier! I mean, take a second look... v. 15 "She gets up while it is still dark, she provides food for her family" She has to get a shower before the kids get up at 0'dark-thirty. And ain't nobody else there to cook for those babies! v. 16 "She considers a field and buys it" Why else on earth would a married woman make a decision like real estate without her husband, except he be deployed! v.18 "her lamp does not go out at night" Oh yeah, she has pulled all-nighters with her workload. v. 23 "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." Her man makes her proud and he has earned respect in what he does, enough so that he is counted amongst the greats...sounds like a soldier to me! So I think I REALLY have a kindred spirit in this marvelous lady! But back to my desire for impact, my longing for legacy...there are a few verses in this passsage that I pray can one day be said about me. (She had 21 verses written about her; I'd be okay with just 3 or 4!) First, I pray that this year verse 11 and 12 are foremost in my husbands mind (if not his mouth).
"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."



May my children see verse 26 in me.

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."



For myself and those who watch me run this race, verse 17.

"She sets about her work vigorously, her arms are strong for her tasks."



And to my God, creator of heaven and earth, my redeemer and Father, may he see that as in verse 25...

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come"


She is not anxious for what lies ahead, but she finds joy in her circumstances. There is one thing I have often been reminded of these past 3 weeks: This journey called deployment is a marathon, not a sprint.

A year begins…

Deployed. Down-range. In theater. These are all terms the Army uses to describe that time when men go off to war. I dislike the term "in theater" because this is anything BUT an act or a show. I also don't like "deployed" because I picture little green men catapulting across a living room floor (I don't know why). I guess down-range sounds better; kinda makes it sound like they are just on-post down at the range. Takes a little of the sting out of it. I guess I prefer to call the whole situation "ouch"…'cause it hurts, oh-so-much.

My Chaplain-soldier left earlier this week and it has truly been the hardest week of my life. Nothing major has gone awry, but the pain of separation has at times been unbearable. He will likely be gone for 12 months, which is unfathomable at this point. We are taking it one day at a time. We have been blessed to hear from Chaplain often as he has been in an adjoining country awaiting a flight to his ultimate destination. The days before and just after he left were painful. It felt emotionally and mentally like someone was ripping off my right arm. I know no other way to describe it. BUT GOD…who is faithful. BUT GOD…who is rich in mercy is carrying us through. I know that sounds trite and simplistic and over-used. But it is so true for me this week! God has been caring for me in a way I can't describe. He has been my rock, my NEW right arm, a fortress to me, a shield. He has brought me hope every day, in one way or another. I have been faithful to His word and prayer and He has been faithful to meet me there and make it worth every second.


My husband is doing well, so far. He has already held a prayer meeting, and they haven't even made it to their FOB (forward operating base) yet! Go God! The next phase for him will be settling into another new time zone, establishing their position on base and beginning his spiritual ministry to the troops in his unit. Our next phase will be moving…yep, without my husband! The Army has graciously offered us a 1000+ square foot increase in our housing and we will take it! So glad Mama is on her way! (Love ya, MamaJ )

The Seafood Sermon


One of the duties I enjoy in parenting my children is the having the privilege to share the word of God with them. With Dylan it is soooo easy because he LOVES a good story! He will often come up with a scenario and ask one of us to come up with a story to go along with it…on the fly! So it is no surprise that any Bible story captures his attention (and I am praying his heart too!). Each week we get out his "Cubby" book and learn his lesson for the following AWANA session. It is one of the highlights of both of our weeks! This week's lesson was on The Five Loaves and Two Fishes. I wasn't sure how this one would go over, seeing as he has heard it many times before…but by me utilizing hand gestures and props his attention span was great! I kid myself if I say that those lessons are only for him, because so many times the Lord speaks to me through those simple lessons. This time as I read our passage my mind focused on the interaction between Philip and Jesus. The Scripture says that Jesus tested Philip by asking him "Where are we going to get enough bread for all these people?" Now, there is no doubt in my mind that Jesus was sincerely panicked about where the sustenance would come from; the Bible says He already knew what He was going to do. Today as I read that story again I speculated that Jesus asked Philip that question because He had already looked into Phillips heart and had seen what was going on inside. I imagine Philip experiencing inner turmoil about exactly how they are going to feed all those people. Having been gifted with leadership talents and maybe a desire to provide physically for those under him, his internal struggle would have been quickly recognized by Him who sees the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Philip's answer expressed the condition of his heart. Not even 8 months wages, 200 denari, would be enough to offer each person a bite! In other words, this task seems impossible, this problem insurmountable. Perfect! Now Jesus had Philip exactly where he wanted him…at the corner of hopeless and hungry. Isn't it always in the darkest hour that any amount of light seems brightest? The stage was now set for Jesus to work one of His most beloved miracles: feeding the 5,000 men (plus untold numbers of women and children) with leftovers! Every stay-at-home-mom's favorite!! It was in the truth of this moment that the Lord spoke to my heart. "Jennifer, how are you going to get through this upcoming deployment?" "Where will you get enough 'bread' to sustain you and your family these long months?" Talk about judging the thoughts and attitudes of the heart! How many times has the Lord 'heard' me ask myself that question? Well, what could my answer be in light of what I had heard from Philip's lips? I had to come to that same intersection with Peter, the place where I can say without shame or fear, "I don't know. Only You, God. The stage is set. Please, work Your miracle in me."

Life goes on...

Many, many times over the last month I have wanted to just sit down and blog. Call me nerdy, but it is therapeutic for me. It makes me organize my life (or at least my thoughts about it) and helps me trace God's hand through all the ups and downs. Alas, I have not done so as of late. BUT...I have done alot of other things. I feel like I am at a place where I am caught up (at least for the moment! :) in life. My sweet Jordan is in a stable routine and my baby boy has recenty turned 4!!! We are have adjusted to the dynamics of being a family of four and the fluidity of our day-to-day routine. And so, now to catch up...



The Lord is doing great things in the life of the Raburns and is taking better care of us than we deserve. This semester I began a Bible Study entitled "Sacred Marriage" (based off of the book by Gary Thomas). It is an incredibly indepth book that has more to do with our relationship to the Lord than our spouse...but the kicker is that when that "vertical" relationship improves, so does the "horizontal" one. The more of this book I read, the better I understand my husband and the deeper in love I grow with him...and the more disenchanted I become with myself, or who I think I am. God is using this study to remind me what a great "catch" I have in Tim, to put my marrital relationship in its place, and to increase my reliance on God alone. And in the process, Tim and I are growing closer together. Learning and improving from past mistakes and looking with guarded anticipation at our upcoming deployment, we are holding tight to each other but resting in the arms of Christ. Lord, please continue your work in my life, prune this bushy tree, chisel this gnarled wood, sculpt this lumpy clay...may our marriage reflect the selfless love and unashamed redemption Jesus has for his bride, the body of Christ.



In late January, two big milestones occured.




  1. My birthday (praise the Lord for another year of life, but not going to discuss which year of life :)



  2. Jordan began eating solids

As her 6 month birthday approached, I began introducing cereals into her diet. She took one bite of rice cereal and NEVER looked back. She is a foodie, for sure!! Jordan would and does put every food substance she can get her hands on into her mouth. After trying out several cereals, we moved onto vegies and fruits. I can't really say that we have any favorites, because she LOVES them all! My dear sweet husband bought me a Beaba Babycook appliance (thanks, babe!) and I love it. I can make traditional baby food (pureed) or I can take a little of whatever I'm fixing for us and fix it (basically blend/chop it) up for her. I don't have to buy jars of food (unless we travel or I just want to) and I can make everything fresh for her. She eats at the table when we eat and still nurses about 4 times a day. Jordan goes down for bed between 7:30 and 8pm and wakes up around 7:00 or 7:15am. She rarely, if ever, wakes up in the night (thank you, Lord!) and takes 2 (sometimes 3) naps a day. After MONTHS of teething, finally 2 little pearlie whites appeard on her lower gums on March 2nd. No, I have not been bit yet, but I think that may be because her bottom teeth are covered by her teeth when she nurses. I am cautiously awaiting the arrival of the top teeth :)

Jordan, you continue to be such a joy to our family. You bring so much happiness to our family. Your brother can make you laugh like no one else can. Your smile can light up any room. And your daddy says that the only person on earth with blue eyes prettier than you is me! I love being your mom and I love the fact that God gave daddy and I the privelege of parenting you into a gody woman. You are a beautiful, healthy baby. At your last doctor's visit you were 15 lbs 10 oz and 24.5 inches long. Grow, baby, grow! As of right now, you can roll over with ease, sit up for 30 seconds to a minute and grasp things with one or two hands. You can push up on your belly and lift your head WAY up. Daddy says you are very "vocal", but I know that's just you growing into your womanly ability to talk! Your hair is a dark blonde (light brown) and you have no birth marks, that I've found anyways!

As I mentioned, Dylan recently turned 4. He had a super-fun birthday party at the on-post bowling alley, done up Cowboy style! A few of his closest friends (yes, mostly girls:) were there and we had a delightful time. I have been praying for early salvation (in childhood) for Dylan since before he was even born. Week-in and week-out since his birth, he has head he gospel in some form or fashion. Now, Tim and I are beginning to hear him ask some very probing and serious questions about spirituality, heaven, and the Lord. Nothing else thrills me like that does. To know that his heart is already turning to the things of God is amazing. He is still 100% boy, and without a doubt, a strong-willed one at that. He ALWAYS has a better idea than mine and would LOVE to push his agenda on anyone. For Christmas he received a Toy Story scooter and that has been a favorite toy as of lately. He likes to imagine that he is lightening fast on it and asks me to say "On your mark, get set, go!!" as he races down our sidewalk.

I was recently thinking about how many negatives I hear regularly about the Army and its life. So, instead I compiled a list of:

Things I love about being "Army"



  1. My kids get to pass by the "Iron Mike" statue everytime we go to Bible Study and AWANA...and are reminded of those who are making sacrifices all around them for this country. (Click here for an Iron Mike link)


  2. My 4 year-old has an understanding that there are more countries on this planet than just ours...and can say "Afghanistan".


  3. Seeing Old Glory at least a dozen different places in our own neighborhood


  4. STILL feeling a tear at the sound of The National Anthem


  5. Being called a dependent (I do need you, honey) and being told I have a sponsor (show me the money!)


  6. You never know when you might be able to see paratroopers from your front yard!


  7. ID checks are NO BIG DEAL...and being saluted at never gets old!


  8. Two words: dependable employment


  9. The AMAZING commissary saving$


  10. Tax breaks!


  11. Seeing firsthand the dedication and commitment in the eyes of America's greatest warriors

A Southerner and a Jew


What could a dark skinned, curly haired man wearing sandals have in common with a fair skinned, blonde haired gal who says "Y'all"? Not much, or so I would have thought. But the more I learn of Paul in the New Testament the more similarities I see in that analogy.


Paul, or as I should say Saul, was a man steeped in religion and tradition (think "Fiddler on the Roof"). He prided himself on just how many rules he could keep and how methodically he could do things. And all of this was not just some obsessive-compulsive tendency. It was his legacy, his religion, his hope of salvation.


And what about that southern girl? Well, chances are she comes from a long-line of whatever she comes from. She grew up in a home where "It's always done this way" and "saying Grace" were frequently heard. She probably also grew up in church, cutting her teeth on the same pews that her grandparents sat in while her parents got married.


Now in the south, we know how to be nice…or as we say, "nas". We are good girls who don't sass our Mamas and hug our Daddies. We are kind to others and say "Yes Ma'am" and "Yessir". But to what avail? I fear that for many, such a life as this, steeped in tradition and church just as was Saul's, is seen as their legacy, their religion, their hope of going to heaven.


The truth is, all that gets you nowhere except a name in the community and a second helping of dinner. Being good is not good enough with God. Church-going does not equate to heaven-going. Why? Because it is ALL about Jesus. Just as Saul discovered, there is something transforming about the gift of grace that God gave each of us through His son. Now it is no longer about being good or going to church; it is about faith and a relationship with the man who is dying to save your soul. This encounter with Christ is so transforming that even Saul's name, his identifying label, was changed (to Paul). He could no longer be called the same thing anymore; the old had passed away and the new had come.


So how about you? Do you need to break away from your past? Do you need to rethink your religion? Let the transforming power of Christ be yours as you meet Him on your Damascus road.

What it’s like


From time to time, I have become aware that there are those who are following my blog. This is truly a humbling thing that floors me. I write not to have followers, but to journal and capture our journey as it comes and goes. The Lord has called us to this ministry of Chaplaincy and I want to faithfully tell our story. My hope is that those who are considering this lifestyle will find my words helpful, full of hope, and heartfelt. There is a link on my blog site that will allow you to jump back to the beginning of our story …to get the full picture. But, let me attempt to "nutshell" it for those who are considering the Chaplaincy as a career. {I use the male pronouns by default; I understand that there are some female Chaplains in the military}. What is required of an Active Duty Chaplain is a seminary degree and at least 2 years of experience in the ministry, among many other physical requirements. A Chaplain will also have to have an endorsement from his faith group that states he is capable of adhering to the doctrines and principles of his faith group. (Basically, he's a good guy and stands by his stuff). The next step would be getting accepted into the Army as a Chaplain. This involves submitting A LOT of paperwork to the Accessions Board and then waiting…and waiting…and waiting. (If you are at this point, DON'T get discouraged!). Once the Chaplain is accepted (by the way, while there was once a critical shortage amongst Army Chaplains, statistics show that number is nearly back up to necessary levels) the Accessions Board will notify him of his start date for what is called CH-BOLC (Chaplain Basic Officer Leadership Course). Currently, it is held at Ft Jackson, SC. It will be up to the Chaplain to be sworn in prior to beginning to CH-BOLC, which lasts for 3 months. After completion of CH-BOLC, he will be assigned to a Post and that's when things get real.


Whew!....That is truly a nutshell version and if you are considering Chaplaincy I encourage you to read back through my blog segments for more details. The first year is truly a transitional blur for the Chaplain and his family – just trying to get bearings down and boxes unpacked. We have been in for 1 year now and Tim has been with his Military Intelligence battalion now for nearly 9 months, the first 6 of which were just trying to find which way is up, meeting faces and learning names, and figuring out how to do this "thing" which is the Chaplaincy. For the kids and I, the last 9 months have been about trying to put down deep roots fast. Finding our niche and our routine, all while supporting our Chaplain and his ministry in any way we can. While a Chaplain is in Garrison (i.e., stationed at home), his job duties will include A LOT of counseling and A LOT of meetings, as well as trying to get a plug in for all things spiritual wherever he can. Another unique duty is conducting the Strong Bonds retreats. These are Army funded get-a-ways designed to build and strengthen marriages and families, as well as build and strengthen single soldiers mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and morally. This has been my main connection with Tim's ministry so far, outside of keeping him fed and his clothes clean J


For the kids and I, we have found military life very agreeable. We live in a nice but small house in a great neighborhood. We have good neighbors, many of which we know well and are our same "boat". One good thing about Army life in post is that you always have something in common with your neighbor. Our neighborhood has a nice activity center with a great pool. There are many activities, events, and opportunities that my kids and I are involved in. Currently, the Army is changing things up in our neighborhood and they are going to relocate us into a larger (2000 sq ft!) 2-story house in the near future. What a blessing!!


I don't say all that to make light of the challenges that exist. We have NOT been through a deployment yet and do not know what that is like. I can only imagine the hardships that lie within those 12+ months of separation. But I have chosen to believe with all my heart that God has a plan and a purpose for my existence during the months of deployment that lie ahead of us. Just as God has purposed Tim's steps as a Chaplain and has great things in store for his time in Afghanistan, so He has for me on this side of the world. I also have to believe that God is going to give me the tools and resources I need to face each challenge that he ordains to come my way while Tim is deployed. I pray I can look for the 'help' he will bring me through each difficulty and use that as an opportunity to trace His hand in my life. God will not be watching from afar saying, "Well, you're husband is gone now. Let's see how you'll handle this!" Believing His words are true, I am trusting that He hasn't and will never leave or forsake me.


I would love to speak write/to any of you who may have questions/concerns about the Chaplaincy. I welcome your comments through my blog or my e-mail.

Elizabeth’s story

Luke 1:5-7, 23-25, 57-58

Elizabeth's story is proof that even the most upright in heart will endure suffering… A purpose in the pain


Have you ever stopped to think…If Elizabeth had not been barren, the birth of John would not have been so miraculous. Also, it would not have coincided with the gestating Jesus. Timing is everything with God!


Within herself, she possessed the DNA that could be traced back to the very being of Aaron, the Levitical priest. She no doubt felt the pressure to carry that line and legacy on through her offspring. Elizabeth's suffering through barrenness in the end brought about the "voice crying in the wilderness" to prepare the way of the Lord. It also brought to life the hands that would baptize the Savior.


Elizabeth never quit: she never let her circumstances move her from her continuance in faith.


Upon learning of the pregnancy, Elizabeth was faithful to give all honor and praise to the Lord, stating "[He] has done this for me". There is no record that she questioned or cursed God for finally making her a mother at the age of most grandmothers. Only gratitude and praise flowed from her lips.


God used Elizabeth's body –her jar of clay as in 2 Corinthians 4:7 – as a vessel in order to provide living proof that "nothing is impossible with God."


Elizabeth's faithfulness led not only to her own personal satisfaction and joy in the Lord, but also to that of others. Elizabeth gave renown to the name of the Lord. Luke records that when her neighbors and relatives saw that the Lord had been merciful to her through the birth of John, they shared her joy. Little did those neighbors and relatives know of the great mercy that grew inside of Mary at that very moment. Thank God for these two mothers who willingly endured suffering and shame to bring about (literally) the kingdom of Christ!

Fleeting flowers



This week at PWOC (my weekly on-post Bible Study) I was blessed with an unexpected gift. Two gifts that is. One I could take with me in my heart and one I could bring home in my hands. This week's devotional was based out of I Peter 1:24. "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever." Our speaker brought with her a bouquet of gorgeous flowers, an exact replica of one her husband had sent her when he was deployed. The flowers were perfectly in bloom. Each color was vibrant and each bloom succulent. Even the greenery was luscious. As believers in Christ we were reminded how much like that bouquet we are. Collectively we make up a beautiful collection of souls when we gather together, giving off a lovely fragrance to the Lord. Some of us are the grand, colorful lilies and some of us are the sprigs of green that give the bouquet fullness. Others off us are like the damaged and repaired Gerber daisy, which our speaker said broke off on the way to class and had to be repaired with tape! Either way, like cut floral, our existence is short-lived. Our speaker displayed a picture of that same bouquet two weeks later. There was no comparison; what was once teeming with life and vibrancy had become dead and discolored. Then our speaker brought the lesson home by referencing the aforementioned verse. No matter how colorful or tall or fragrant we are, we are here for but a moment. The task is ours to make everyone of our fleeting moments count for Him. Eternal beauty is found only in God and His word. Lord, may my life, no matter how short, bring you honor and glory and bring others to your throne!

Winter

Since January 2005, for whatever sovereign reason, the Lord has taken me on a journey of studying suffering in the lives of His saints. Though not actively seeking this path, I have found myself time and time again learning of the purposes for which God has called Christians to suffer. From sermons to studies to self-experiences, I have been drawn to take a deeper look at that which is dreaded but inevitable. Bro. Brent Summerhill, pastor of Faith Baptist Church in Cabot, Arkansas, (my home church) is currently preaching through a series on Joseph's life entitled Roots Grow Deep in Winter. This series has put into words that which has been formulating in my heart over the last four years. Maybe you are like me, and grew up with the idea that as a Christian life should be grand. Doing right should equate to the 'good life' and those who were having hard times were getting their 'just deserts'. For the good Christian, life should be 'heaven on earth'! And suffering should be a reality check. What factors led me to this type of thinking? Probably a combination of parental ideals, Sunday school teachings, and my own interpretation of the way things should be. I suppose that was exactly why the Lord decided to challenge my way of thinking by bringing me face to face with ideas like those from Dr. John Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life. And face to face with patients who were deeply spiritual and yet still were facing the loss of an unborn infant. I realize my conventional theology was corrupt from the very starting block. Scripture says so. And I believe God is going to work through my life to allow whatever suffering I encounter to bring Him glory and further His kingdom - more than it could be furthered by my "good deeds=easy life" mentality. Let me just say a word about marriage. Perhaps you are a newly married person who is finding him or herself coming down off of the "high" of having fallen in love. You are realizing that love is tough, and marriage is hard, and maybe even that the person you married is not who you thought they were. Reality is striking a knock-out punch. Or perhaps you are through with what you believe is a wasted life-endeavour of marriage to a person who has been nothing but ungrateful and unloving toward you for years. While I haven't experienced all of these emotions, I know there are many, many women who have. In either scenario, you feel cheated and you don't want to suffer another minute. May I challenge you to continue reading? If nothing else, for the sake of the vows you spoke before God and man. It is my prayer that as you take a second look at suffering through the lens of the Scripture, you will see that God can redeem and that he ALWAYS has a plan and a purpose when His children suffer. Remember, Satan had to approach God first before he could get at Job. A marriage that has been through war and back can, with God's help, be matured, beaten, broken and mended and better than it has ever been before. (paraphrase from Sarah Markley) (Of course, if you are in physical danger from your spouse, please get away from him/her and seek help. God cannot work in your relationship if you are dead; and your spouse needs a wake-up call) Let's face it, it only takes a few times around the block of life before the Lord feels distant or (dare I say it?) non-existant. On this earth we can encounter some HORRIBLE times and events, even (and especially) as Christians. In Joseph's story, he was being thrown in prison through no fault of his own and because of something he didn't do. Anyone out there feel like YOU are in a prison? Satan likes to attack us until we feel trapped and alone. Scripture makes one thing clear, though: "But the Lord was with Joseph..." is a phrase repeated in this story in Genesis. In the passages following this one, we can see that not only was God with Joseph, but that he was working through his prison experience to get him back to the palace!! Because of the hurt you are experiencing right now, you may be thinking "Palace? What Palace? There's a palace to be gained from this?" It is not I who say this to you, but the Lord...and his answer is "YES!" Now, allow me to clarify the concept of palace. I do not believe that God has an agenda of wealth, prosperity, and health on the other side of our struggles. But I do believe this: that each one of us who are His sons and daughters have a mansion that awaits us in the coming ages in Heaven. But aside from the next life, I also believe that God wants to use our lives to glorify Him and satisfy ourselves. And those two are not mutually exclusive... Suppose you are in a boat similar to Joseph's at the time of his imprisonment. It can be very hard to lift your mind out of the depths of despair and discouragement that plague us through sufferings. A good place to change your gears of thought could be contemplating how "It could have been worse..." For Joseph, it definitely could have been worse. He could have easily been executed by Potiphar instead of being sentenced to prison. In prison, he could have been killed by inmates or solitarily confined. Instead, it was during this time in prison that God continued developing the masterpiece of Joseph's life. Satan was conniving, but God was creative. How could your situation be/have been worse? Reflection upon such an idea causes us to trace the hand of God even when that which surrounds us is dark and dismal. It sheds light upon His continued mercy and blessings, which are indicative that He is still with us. Joseph's story is a perfect example to us that integrity is no assurance of a life without problems. Jesus Christ, the author and perfector of our faith, suffered immensly - both in His life and on the cross. What more can we expect? Paul's writings are riddled with accounts of suffering for the cause of Christ, all of which he counted as a privelege. We WILL suffer - but not because of the curse of sin that had us bound. What we were once so deserving of, death and hell, has been cancelled for each of God's believers. So to the age-old question of "Why do good things happen to bad people?" we can answer "What is amazing is not the bad things that happen to us, but the good!!" Now our suffering takes on a whole new meaning. Its purpose is to enable us to identify further with Christ's sufferings and so to become more like Him. Whether the cause of our suffering is natural (disease) or man-made (caused by others) is, so to speak, irrelevant. This is how we can reconcile the two facts that Joseph's life exuded integrity yet he was plagued with repeated delimmas. Responding negatively to our trials and sufferings can diminish the potential for joy that exists in our situations. Paul says to "consider it pure joy, fellow believers, when you face trials of any kind". Why joy? Because trials have a way of chiseling at us until we are mature, complete, and more like Christ. THAT kind of joy - more like the Savior! The benefits of what we have gained through knowing Christ and His cross far outweigh anything negative we will face on this earth. Again, Paul said it best in Philippians 3:8, "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." Satan may be the cause of your problem, but he can't be the cause of your unhappiness IF your delight is in the Lord. Remember these words from my former pastor: "The Lord's favor is most clearly seen against the backdrop of suffering."

Words of HOPE

I discovered a book that was released earlier this year entitled "Rain On Me - 40 Day Devotional Book" by Holley Gerth. I have not read the entire book (it's on my Christmas wish list), but I did discover an excerpt available on the author's blog (Heart to Heart With Holley). I don't typically like to quote from other people (I prefer original writings :) but this was too good not to share. For me it summarizes some of my innermost thoughts quite well... I wear two rings. The one on my left hand is a symbol of love for my husband. The ring on my right hand is a small silver band with one word on it…HOPE. This month marks the five-year anniversary of the reason I bought that little ring. My husband and I have been on the journey to starting a family all that time. In a way it feels like forever and in another it seems incredibly short. When we started down that road I thought hope meant believing God would give us a child. As time went on I discovered true hope is believing God is good no matter what He decides to do. Let me tell you, getting to that place is not simple, neat, or easy. But it’s worth it. I used to think hope was a fluffy, faraway feeling—like cotton candy for your heart. I’ve learned real hope is gritty, real, and raw. It’s strong and wild, unpredictable and fierce. I’ve had so many conversations with God along the lines of, “Lord, no more with the hope thing. Just answer the prayers already.” (Haven’t you had those too?) He lovingly responds, “Lean into me, daughter, lean into me.” When I listen and lean rather than resist, I find rest. I have the hope my heart craves. And (dare I say it?) I even discover joy. We tend to think what we need most is whatever we’re asking for in that moment. God knows what we really need is more of Him in every moment. I’m holding my ring up to the light as I finish writing these words. I can see scratches on the surface. The edges are rough in places. It still needs some polishing. But somehow, despite it all, in the center HOPE remains. Next week Tim and I are hosting a Strong Bonds marriage retreat for Tim's battalion. The location is Savannah, GA and we are presenting the material in Dr. Gary Chapman's book Five Love Languages. We are both a bit nervous for things to go well but have placed it in God's hands for Him to take charge of the outcome and bring the increase. Satan must not be pleased already, for we have encountered great difficulty in just giving life to the possibility of this retreat! This is one of the cool things that the Army allows Chaplains to do, and because I went through the training for Strong Bonds during CH-BOLC I am qualified to co-teach with Tim. What a wonderful opportunity to serve alongside my spouse and soldier! Please be in prayer for the couples in attendance, that the Lord will open their eyes within their marriage and that any spiritual needs that arise that weekend will be handled with the Father's grace and love.

Reflections and projections

Today I took the time to slow down enough to reflect on "this time last year we were..." I like to do that from time to time in order to see how far we've come or how much we've changed, and also to trace the Lord's hand in our lives. This time last year, the final details were coming together for us for the Chaplaincy. Tim was getting ready to quit his "day job" and spend a month at home with Dylan before CH-BOLC started. We were "entertaining" the idea of child #2 (didn't take much entertaining!) and we were spiffing up our house to put it on the market. I can honestly say that the last year has had more changes in it than probably our 10 years together combined. Changing and quitting jobs, entering the military, conceiving a child, selling a home, being apart for 3 months, moving, buying a car, having a child (prematurely)...whoa, head is spinning! Life now is good, but it is very different. My days were once filled with nurse work from 0630 until 1900 and my "off days" were filled with a kiddo and housework. Now, I am a 24-7 nursing mommy :), maid, and cook. Making friends and setting up my "community" has been another task as I prepare for being a "happily married single parent" :) in the near future. I also spend some evenings each month at "coffees" (military wives term for "get-togethers). Soon we will be participating in a marriage retreat for the soldiers and their families in our battalion. My goal is to try to have an active presence in my husband's Chaplaincy ministry, in order to bring glory to God, to be a blessing to the soldiers and families, and use my gifts & talents wisely. Is this what I envisioned? I think so, but the more important question for me is "God, is this what you envisioned?" I have begun asking God that question on a daily basis, "Lord, is this what you envisioned for this day?" Breaking it down like that keeps me from steering off track before I realize it. For the past 3 days Tim has been out in the field doing deployment readiness trainig. He learned alot of important things about traveling in a convoy and had a great time in the process. For me, the past 3 days have been "single mom days". Not awful, but tough. This is my most important ministry roll, to continue on a somewhat normal life for the souls entrusted to me by God. I have a renewed respect for the women surrounding me in my neighborhood who are doing this for 365+ days at a time. It takes grit, guts, determination, but also a tender heart open to the Lord's wisdom and leading...and also it takes someone who sees the burning need for ministry to our troops and is instead willing to change diapers and wash laundry while someone else meets that need. It is not glamerous; there are no medals of honor, no recognition ceremonies. It is tireless and thankless at times. But there is that quiet, gentle voice of the Holy Spirit that so readily reminds us we are all working for the King, no matter what our role.
Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

And a beautiful note to end on, Jordan Nataleigh at 12 weeks. One of those precious souls entrusted to me... :) Lucky me!

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