Ekklesia

Social Media Sabbatical…continued

I’ve persevered in my social media sabbatical for over 4 weeks now.  I’m still loving the freedom of it and not being a part of that realm for now.  But I recently had a situation come up that caused me to think a little deeper about this form of “community”.  In the midst of a (rather serious) illness, a friend utilized social media as her outlet for informing her “community” that she was ill and in need of prayer.  In good Christian response, several believers who saw this responded with prayers and offerings of help. My friend also reached out to me personally via text (which I was grateful for).  But it caused me to think about all the times I’ve seen people (including myself) use FB to communicate to others regarding my trials, tribulations, and sufferings.  Personally, I’ve often had many people respond with prayer and promises of aid, for which I’ve been immensely thankful.  It seems that in this digital age and culture, this has become the “norm”.  So how do I, as a Christ-following believer who longs to share His love with the world, stay in touch and relevant to the world around me - with or without social media?  

It is understandable that people utilize social media to spread their news and needs.  That is one of it’s beautiful benefits. It gets a word out quickly and efficiently, like casting a wide net.  But is it the only means of sharing?  In general, do people in our society only utilize social media (and it alone?) for communicating needs?  Is it because of the wideness of its net and the quickness of its response?  Is this what God intended for our lives?  Is this Biblical?  Is this us living in reliance upon His provision and His timing?  Is it also, in some part, due to its no-strings-attached nature with no demands and requirements.  I’m not sure of the answers to all these, but I do have a few thoughts.  

The New Testament model for loving on and caring for believers is within the auspices of the church (ekklesia in the Greek).  Fellow believers in Christ who joined with a local body of believers pledged to give of themselves and their possessions in order to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those people.  Yes, we are to love and serve the world at large.  But we are called to a higher level of service to those with whom we worship.  We are accountable to them, and they to us.  The same cannot be said of the entire world.  In light of this, when they are sick we are entreated to care for them.  When they are without, we offer provisions.  And we receive the same in return when we stand in a place of need.  

So how does social media play into all this?  Not all the Christ-followers in my FB friend list are a part of my “ekklesia”.  Some are, but most are scattered throughout the globe or are a part of another ekklesia.  I’m not saying that believers from different congregations cannot or should not help one another out.  But to whom should I go when I have a need?  Who is responsible for helping me when I need it?  Who has the Lord appointed and provided?  Whoever can type back the quickest?  Whoever is trolling social media at the time? (Since I’m in a FB sabbatical season, I’m currently not privy to anyone’s digital pleas for help.)  I surmise that it is much easier to "exist" in a profile on social media than it is to be an active member serving in a local church, no doubt.  Is it the desire to be free of the entanglements of unlikeable people, loud preachers, music that's not our style, and services that start too early (or too late)?  Maybe.  However at its foundation, Christianity is not a call to a life of ease with no strings, demands or requirements. 

I believe the truest answer to how we should show the love of Christ to those around us and experience the community we were created for is the ekklesia with which we are enmeshed.  The people we sing next to each week. Those we frequently sit in a room with and soak in the truths pouring from the pulpit.  Those we’ve pledged to help raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And those who’ve pledged to help us do the same.  Those we’ve witnessed make wedding vows.  And those with whom we’ve combed through Scripture side by side. Those we’ve rejoiced with as they took steps of faith.  Those who've lovingly held us accountable when we’ve strayed in the past.  The beauty of the church, local and tangible.   When I’ve done life with you and walked side by side with you through seasons of joy and heartache, I want to help you when that little baby is sick and fevered.  I long to bring you a meal when your wife is recovering from surgery.  We’re happy  to mow your grass while your husband is traveling.  Even if we aren’t the fastest at typing a response :-) While relying on Social Media members for help instead of an ekklesia may be easier in some temporal regard, there is much to be missed outside of the community of a local church - including regular worship (as taught by Christ and the New Testament), mission trips (or even missionary commissioning!), doctrinal training, small group Bible studies, a safe harbor, an opportunity to put hands to the plow for the advancement of God's Kingdom, and so, SO much more.

It’s kind of similar to the way neighborhoods work.  When you have a neighborly need, you don’t normally call a friend who lives 2 hours away to ask if you can borrow a cup of sugar.  Local and tangible, remember? God knew we needed this in His design for our lives.

So what’s a happy medium?  Where’s the balanced view?  Perhaps a church who uses social media to communicate with its members.  Instead of a phone tree or email distro list, members post and respond to needs on a monitored posting site (with some level of accountability to help sort out people who aren’t actually attending, serving, or growing and offer them help instead as a new believer or seeker). Perhaps making sure that individually we are reaching as far into our ekklesia as we are into the digital community when we stand in need.   And that we are reaching out to those in our ekkelsia to be the hands and feet of Jesus, seeing to it that their needs are met and not expecting the digital community alone to do the work that Christ called (and established the church) to do.

Back to life, back to reality

I feel like suggesting a new addition to the Chinese Calendar. Instead of the year of the dog or the goat, how about the year of sickness? Well, at least that's what it's been like at our house since Chaplain deployed. Even now I am nursing (in the RN sense) a boy whom I believe may have the flu (wish I'd made him get that vaccine NOW). Not that my kids were pictures of health before hubby left, but the volume of illnesses has definitely increased since then. We were blessed that the Lord gave us an illness-free R&R...Oh yeah, except for a raging ear infection in our son's right ear :) I have been through the gamut of emotions over this sickness thing. And with just over 4 months to go in this deployment, I have come to settle on this emotion: acceptance. I am a clean freak -- I LOVE a clean house. So my kids' illnesses are not due to my lack of housekeeping skills. My children do not have any major medical diagnoses like heart disease or diabetes that could explain their frequent illnesses. So what is happening here is out of my control. They are my number one ministry priority this deployment. I have been blessed by God to have other ministry outlets these past 7 months, including piano and a ladies Bible study. But much of my hands on "work" has been caring for them. I mention this in my blog not to complain, but to report that sick kids during deployment seems to be a VERY common thing for the spouse left behind. Is it REALLY that kids are sicker with a parent gone, or is it just that the load of caregiving seems overly heavy for one parent? Or perhaps these kids were destined to be sick like this with or without Daddy/Mommy at home? I don't know for sure. Many of my friends have experienced the same or similar situations as ours. My explanation of it stems from a sense that Satan doubles and triples his attacks on families who are serving God faithfully (whether Chaplain or not). What better opportunity would he have to tear apart a family for good than when they are geographically apart, each struggling in their own way? The following is an excerpt from an article in our local paper, The Fayetteville Observer, published today. It is SO good at expressing the thoughts in my heart regarding being mom to a boy-son. I just had to share :) Home Front: As little boys grow, so do mom's fears by Sonya Sparks Murdock When you are a mom of two little boys, certain things are inevitable, such as scraped knees and pockets full of dirt. Boys catch frogs and pull tails off lizards; it's just what they do. They burp their ABCs at the dinner table - the louder, the better. Boys collect rocks and give them scientific names, like "fossilized dinosaur poop." We mothers of the male species get nervous when our homes are quiet, a sure sign that mischief is imminent. In my house of boys, the cushions are never on the sofa, but on the floor instead, where they serve as forts and castle walls. Likewise for the pretty pillows that I bought to match the sofa; apparently, the boys took the term "throw pillows" literally. In fact, if you are a woman whose living room does not look like a war zone, then you are not a woman whose children are of the male gender. Because, in a house with boys, the living room floor is always strewn with dismembered action figures and random plastic body parts. Poor Darth Vader doesn't stand a chance against the Force that is known as Boy. It must be genetic instinct for boys to turn ordinary household items into weapons of destruction. Sticks become guns; long sticks make perfect light sabers. That innocent TV remote secretly emits high-powered shrink rays. Even the dinner table becomes a battlefield for sword fights with butter knives. Lure of a uniform After extensive research (and by research I mean comparing notes with other moms at the playground) I have come to this finding: All boys play "war." My boys were destined to pretend to be soldiers, emulating their greatest hero, their dad (cont.) Unless you have one (a boy), you won't understand. Once you do, you'll never forget!! My husband is back with his guys, ministering, and feels he is exactly where he needs to be doing what he was called to do. The kids and I are back to our "routine" (a loose sense of the word needs to be applied here), exactly where we need to be doing what He has called us to do. For now...On the distant horizon is reunion. And already it smells sweet. For those of you doin' this thang ;) take heart. God is doing something mighty. For those of you considering this life, prayerfully seek him -- and then JUMP IN! Be sure to bring your tissues and Tylenol! :)

The best laid plans...

Today I had 'one of those days'. You know 'em; not alot went right and everything seemed like a struggle. Upon wakening this morning, I had an extensive agenda for this day. A doctor appointment for myself, going to the Wally-Market, house cleaning, laundry, etc. All good things, nothing selfish, just trying to 'get it all done'. But I do believe I can say with confidence that the Lord had other plans for my day. My plans were derailed and I found myself on several detours. My son's coughing and neon green nose necessitated another doctor's appointment (2 appointments in one day, really!?!?) This turned into a 2 1/2 hours visit to the clinic with a sick 3 year old who does not feel his best and a 2 1/2 month old in tow. The funniest part was when they sent us for a chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia and the 3 year old exclaimed he needed to potty while the baby exclaimed she needed to eat...yes, at the same time! After fumbling through that, finding out that he didn't have pneumonia, and getting our medicine, we made our way exhaustedly to Wally's Market. As if our day wasn't wrought enough, someone saw fit to give me the cart with this worst wheel-issue ever in the history of shopping carts. So there we went, ka-dunk ka-dunk, through the streets of Wally-World. I'm pretty sure I could sense that God was smiling, or at least chuckling. Having experienced days like this one before, I know they can be handled one of two ways: with frustration or with surrender. Although, even though I've been down this road before, I found myself fighting surrender. As the Rich Mullins wrote, "surrender don't come natural to me". But as our outing came to a close and we headed home to quarantine ourselves, I finally made the connection in my heart that while things today seemed out of control, that were perfectly in God's control. How much more peaceful and at peace I could be if I would graciously bow out and usher in God's agenda and the Holy Spirit's presence in each day! Surrendering does not guarantee me smooth roads (neither did that shopping cart!) or easy passage. But it does put me exactly in the place I need to be of total reliance on God. And when your day is unraveling instead of unfolding, there is no safer place to be.

Mothering...and other memories

I recently read an article in a religious magazine about a mother who, much like an employee at a corporation, turned in her 'resignation, effective today' to her family. In the resignation, she detailed how she could no longer 'work under such conditions' and was feeling overwhelmed by the number of constituents under her. While the article was written completely in jest, it got me thinking about this life of motherhood. Mothering (in particular, family-making and the formative years) are quite the challenge. I myself am considering writing a book chronicling the years I am spending raising my God-given gifts called children. I do not have sufficient enough material yet to write said book, but I already have a working title. It will be called, "Outnumbered: raising kids without raising hell". But I digress... In my recent attempts to find the balance (that, I've been told, "will come") in dividing time between 2 kids and housework, I have been employing some new strategies. One of which is "Get up before the kids do and get a few things done". Whether its getting a cup of Joe, reading the Bible, or taking a shower, getting something done before the children awake and begin requesting things has been suggested as helpful. I have discovered that this is not possible. You see, the children either have a "Mommy-Cam" through which they see you when you attempt to rise before them OR they have a string which is tied to your foot, and when you rise it rings a bell like Liberty to awaken them from their slumber in order that they might greet you at your bedroom door before you even come into the hallway. Oh well, it was a nice try. I have found myself amazed in the last 11 weeks at what can be accomplished in one day with my hands and the Lord's favor. Serving up 3 meals a day, to suit everyones tastes and likes. At least 1-2 loads of laundry done, folded, and put away. The perpetually endless cycle of dishes in and out of the dishwasher. Remembering our vitamins. The perpetually endless cycle of diaper changing. Looking for hidden toys that I swear I saw out in plain sight just yesterday. Clamoring to find any bit of time I can to spend with the love of my life. Remembering to brush teeth. Looking for that toy again! Paying bills. Giving lots of hugs and kisses. Reading God's word. Slowing down long enough to play a game or to "watch this, Mommy!" Orchestrating naps. All this and more, while at the same time independently manufacturing my own brand of enough milk to keep a growing baby alive. Whew! Maybe I should change my working title to "Circus Cow: Moo!" Orchestrating naps, an oxymoron if there ever was one. When I was pregnant with my second child, I would often wonder what it was like to have 2 young kids. I dreamed of a magic place, one where the children both napped at the same time. And I thought, "Yes! That is how these Moms make it; they put their children down for naps at the same time." What I now realize is that when my son leans over my baby daughter to give her a kiss, he is also whispering to her about the "kid's code of conduct" which I believe states that one child must be awake at all times while Mom is in the house. My baby girl has willingly complied and my oldest has refused to change his ways. At the end of the day, after all the hugs and kisses have been doled out, after the last nursing session, and after all teeth have been brushed, when it is just me lying next to that love of my life...the circus of nap dilemmas and outnumbered situations give way to a heart of gratitude. The lives entrusted into my care, including my husband's, are priceless. As the mother of 2 wonderful children, I am overwhelmed with sweetness and affection. As the wife of an Army Chaplain, I am overwhelmed with pride for my husband and my country. As the child of the King, I am overwhelmed with His love. Maybe I should change that working title, yet again, to "Overwhelmed: blessed beyond measure".

What is an Army wife?

The Lord is beginning to make me increasingly aware of those around me who are temporarily living alone while their soldier is defending our country's freedom. In my circle of friends, there are at least 8...and I've only been making friends here since early May. At a post like Ft Bragg, deployment is inevitable and more than half of the post can be deployed at any one time. Now, though, those soldiers who are deployed have names and faces that I recognize, and they have families and spouses that I know and love dearly. Those amazing women who, as the patriotic hymn says, "more than self their country loved" and have made the lofty sacrifices necessary to send the head of their house and love of their lives into harms way. What is an Army wife? She is one who endures obstacle and inconvenience for the sake of life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and her husband's calling and career. She can persevere through lengthy absences with nothing but pride for her country and love for her family to spur her on...and the hand of God to guide her. Satisfaction in a job well done comes when she sees her children participating in those things which only happen in the land of the free and the home of the brave. She knows she makes her home with one of those brave...and that she too, is a woman of bravery. She prays for his return, but is glad there are men like hers fighting for our rights and protecting our freedoms. Whether her husband enlisted or was commissioned into the service, she received no schooling, training, or boot camp to prepare her for this life. Yet she finds a way to excel at supporting her soldier and sometimes being Mom and Dad to her children...and cook, maid, launderer, accountant, tutor, friend, nurse, etc. To the Brookes, Lauras, and Katherines of the Army, this has become all to real...yet I've heard none of the whine or complain. I can't help but picture the Father counting their sacrifice as equal to that of their spouse. By ALL means, we owe our love and appreciation to the men and women of the United States Armed Forces. But their families who have loved and supported them, and made it possible and more probable for them to do their jobs well, deserve our gratitude as well. "If you can read this thank a teacher. If you're reading this in English thank a soldier." And thank their spouse, as well.